I need your wedding/being married jokes - Page 2 - Toyota GR86, 86, FR-S and Subaru BRZ Forum & Owners Community

nickmerronesucks · 04-19-2016, 03:53 PM

use the how deep is the average womens vagina joke

her family will love it

Dadhawk · 04-19-2016, 04:18 PM

I agree with @Tcoat on this one, you need to make sure the family will think its funny.

Now, that said, the one marriage joke that both MomHawk and I find mutually funny:

"Marriage is like the 7-11, not a lot of variety but it's always there at 3 in the morning."

Replace 7-11 with your convenience store or all night diner of your choice....

ZionsWrath · 04-19-2016, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dadhawk

I agree with @Tcoat on this one, you need to make sure the family will think its funny.

Now, that said, the one marriage joke that both MomHawk and I find mutually funny:

"Marriage is like the 7-11, not a lot of variety but it's always there at 3 in the morning."

Replace 7-11 with your convenience store or all night diner of your choice....

with random nuts inside

wait wut

Toyarzee · 04-19-2016, 04:31 PM

I'm getting married in a year. I know my family has a twisted and enduring sense of humor, not so sure of the fiancé's side however... good luck with jokes

HFP-CivicSI · 04-19-2016, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tcoat

And once one is paid off you start looking for a better and bigger one.

We are opposites. I would look for a smaller one! (interest rate/wife or GF) lol.

Big girls need lovin too though I guess!

shiumai · 04-19-2016, 08:37 PM

Not really a joke, but a line i use once in a while with my wife is "Honey, if I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong."

shiumai · 04-19-2016, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dadhawk

"Marriage is like the 7-11, not a lot of variety but it's always there at 3 in the morning."

Huh. Not in my experience. 3am would result in a "What the...get OFF ME!"
To which I'd reply "Oh sorry hon! I didn't mean to wake you."

echo419 · 04-20-2016, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toyarzee

I'm getting married in a year. I know my family has a twisted and enduring sense of humor, not so sure of the fiancé's side however... good luck with jokes

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F4qzPbcFiA"]Admiral Ackbar - "It's A Trap!" - YouTube[/ame]

Tcoat · 04-20-2016, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shiumai

Huh. Not in my experience. 3am would result in a "What the...get OFF ME!"
To which I'd reply "Oh sorry hon! I didn't mean to wake you."

Could be worse. Response could be "Oh it's YOU"

MuseChaser · 04-20-2016, 09:29 AM

A guy I used to gig w/ used to toast the new happy couple by saying "May your marriage last as long as my first marriage seemed..."

You could always introduce your wife, "I'd like to introduce you all to my first wife..." They LOVE that... (don't try that one at home, kiddies,.. I AM a professional)

Guy walks into a bar, kind of dejectedly. The bartender notices his droopy look and asks if he can get the guy a drink. The guy sighs.. "Yeah, I guess just a beer would be OK.." Bartender inquires, "Man, you seem really down. What's going on?" Guy says, "Well, my wife and I got into an argument and she told me she wasn't going to talk to me for a month. The month is up tonight."

mixtape · 04-20-2016, 09:37 AM

Give your wife a plunger as a wedding gift.

Women love bringing up shit from the past.

cdrazic93 · 04-20-2016, 11:43 AM

why do i get the feeling Tcoat went into major joke research mode and pulled out his dusty joke book.

ls1ac · 08-26-2020, 04:38 PM

A man chases a woman until she gets him.

Captain Snooze · 08-27-2020, 05:26 AM

I've seen better necros.

04-19-2016, 03:53 PM	#15
nickmerronesucks Ned flanders Join Date: Mar 2014 Drives: 13 BRZ, 16 Hellcat, 22 Ram 2500 Location: Levittown PA Posts: 890 Thanks: 451 Thanked 363 Times in 255 Posts Mentioned: 3 Post(s) Tagged: 2 Thread(s)	use the how deep is the average womens vagina joke her family will love it __________________ 797Performance.com

04-19-2016, 04:18 PM	#16
Dadhawk Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Drives: '13 FR-S (#3 of 1st 86) Location: Powder Springs, GA Posts: 20,109 Thanks: 39,681 Thanked 25,451 Times in 11,604 Posts Mentioned: 187 Post(s) Tagged: 4 Thread(s)	I agree with @Tcoat on this one, you need to make sure the family will think its funny. Now, that said, the one marriage joke that both MomHawk and I find mutually funny: "Marriage is like the 7-11, not a lot of variety but it's always there at 3 in the morning." Replace 7-11 with your convenience store or all night diner of your choice.... __________________ Olivia 05/03/2012 - 01/06/2024. 231,146 glorious miles. Visit my Owner's Journal where I wax philosophic on all things FR-S Post your 86 or see others in front of a(n) (in)famous landmark. What fits in your 86? Show us the "Junk In Your Trunk".

04-19-2016, 08:37 PM	#20
shiumai Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Drives: 2013 DGM BRZ, 2020 C8 Corvette Location: USofA! Posts: 1,763 Thanks: 963 Thanked 1,896 Times in 789 Posts Mentioned: 41 Post(s) Tagged: 1 Thread(s)	Not really a joke, but a line i use once in a while with my wife is "Honey, if I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong." __________________ My DGM BRZ vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OL9OhxexAA My car journal thread: http://www.ft86club.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43402

04-20-2016, 09:37 AM	#25
mixtape Posts in the nude Join Date: Oct 2015 Drives: 2016 WRB BRZ Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 390 Thanks: 587 Thanked 505 Times in 248 Posts Mentioned: 5 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	Give your wife a plunger as a wedding gift. Women love bringing up shit from the past. __________________ 2016 Subaru BRZ - World Rally Blue [Build Thread] Instagram: @mixtography \| My Automotive Photography "Lesbian trees have no wood." - Scoobs McGee

04-20-2016, 11:43 AM	#26
cdrazic93 Junior Join Date: Aug 2013 Drives: a car Location: Probably at school Posts: 4,341 Thanks: 3,184 Thanked 2,512 Times in 1,502 Posts Mentioned: 20 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	why do i get the feeling Tcoat went into major joke research mode and pulled out his dusty joke book. __________________ "Ah! What music! They could have never imagined, those pioneers who invented the automobile, that it would posses us like this, our imaginations, our dreams. Men love women, but even more than that, men love CARS!"-Lord Hesketh

04-19-2016, 04:31 PM	#18
Toyarzee Shibby! Join Date: Feb 2014 Drives: '14 White FR-S, '01 turbo mini taco Location: Costa Mesa, CA Posts: 647 Thanks: 838 Thanked 583 Times in 269 Posts Mentioned: 4 Post(s) Tagged: 2 Thread(s)	I'm getting married in a year. I know my family has a twisted and enduring sense of humor, not so sure of the fiancé's side however... good luck with jokes

04-20-2016, 09:29 AM	#24
MuseChaser Feeling like thinking.... Join Date: Oct 2015 Drives: 2013 FR-S Location: CNY Posts: 1,664 Thanks: 1,664 Thanked 2,433 Times in 1,064 Posts Mentioned: 20 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	A guy I used to gig w/ used to toast the new happy couple by saying "May your marriage last as long as my first marriage seemed..." You could always introduce your wife, "I'd like to introduce you all to my first wife..." They LOVE that... (don't try that one at home, kiddies,.. I AM a professional) Guy walks into a bar, kind of dejectedly. The bartender notices his droopy look and asks if he can get the guy a drink. The guy sighs.. "Yeah, I guess just a beer would be OK.." Bartender inquires, "Man, you seem really down. What's going on?" Guy says, "Well, my wife and I got into an argument and she told me she wasn't going to talk to me for a month. The month is up tonight."

08-27-2020, 05:26 AM	#28
Captain Snooze Because compromise ® Join Date: Jan 2012 Drives: Red Herring Location: australia Posts: 7,819 Thanks: 4,051 Thanked 9,556 Times in 4,196 Posts Mentioned: 60 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	I've seen better necros. __________________ My car is completely stock except for all the mods.

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