I need your wedding/being married jokes - Toyota GR86, 86, FR-S and Subaru BRZ Forum & Owners Community

covance · 04-18-2016, 09:26 PM

My wedding reception is this coming weekend. It is actually the second one for people who could not attend the wedding out of town, so there is less pressure on my thank you speech.

Hit me with your "being married" jokes!

The fantastically corny one I plan to include so far:

My wife told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo so I had to put my foot down.

Got 'em!

Captain Snooze · 04-19-2016, 08:14 AM

How is choosing suspension like marriage?
Because compromise.

Tcoat · 04-19-2016, 08:42 AM

There is not a hope in hell I would use other people's marriage jokes at a wedding! That sort of joke has to be very specific and based on the couple's life events or the next thread would be "Well I lost half the car in my divorce".

jasonojordan · 04-19-2016, 09:08 AM

Tcoat hit it on the head. While there are alot of general things that are common in marriage IE you will get in a fight, jokes will not be funny unless they have a direct correlation to your relationship. Kinda like if you were to use this joke. What do my wife and a hot pocket have in common? They both are stuffed with meat. I could get away with that. You try it you could very well end up on the floor.

Atropine · 04-19-2016, 09:20 AM

Here is one that I kinda believe,,,its lighthearted and should flatter your wife.

Getting married is like locking in a good interest rate on a mortgage.

jasonojordan · 04-19-2016, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atropine

Here is one that I kinda believe,,,its lighthearted and should flatter your wife.

Getting married is like locking in a good interest rate on a mortgage.

That is true because you also pay over time.

Tcoat · 04-19-2016, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atropine

Here is one that I kinda believe,,,its lighthearted and should flatter your wife.

Getting married is like locking in a good interest rate on a mortgage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jasonojordan

That is true because you also pay over time.

And once one is paid off you start looking for a better and bigger one.

Tcoat · 04-19-2016, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jasonojordan

Tcoat hit it on the head. While there are alot of general things that are common in marriage IE you will get in a fight, jokes will not be funny unless they have a direct correlation to your relationship. Kinda like if you were to use this joke. What do my wife and a hot pocket have in common? They both are stuffed with meat. I could get away with that. You try it you could very well end up on the floor.

One I say all the time is "been married for 34 years. They were 2 of the best years of my life." That would end up in a huge fight with many but my poor, suffering wife is used to me.

jasonojordan · 04-19-2016, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tcoat

One I say all the time is "been married for 34 years. They were 2 of the best years of my life." That would end up in a huge fight with many but my poor, suffering wife is used to me.

Im sure your wife and mine could relate. But then again mine is feisty she likes to barb me back.

echo419 · 04-19-2016, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atropine

Here is one that I kinda believe,,,its lighthearted and should flatter your wife.

Getting married is like locking in a good interest rate on a mortgage with a 50%+/- chance she takes it all and I get nothing.

fixed

sorry but all my marriage jokes revolve around not doing it.

echo419 · 04-19-2016, 10:04 AM

I got another!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atropine

Here is one that I kinda believe,,,its lighthearted and should flatter your wife.

Getting married is like locking in a good interest rate on a mortgage and then your house gets fat.

ssyed · 04-19-2016, 02:59 PM

People saying don't use other people's jokes but then contributed 👍🏿

jasonojordan · 04-19-2016, 03:15 PM

Well duh we have to give examples of things that can backfire you know

Kimsey47 · 04-19-2016, 03:22 PM

Being married is great... Nothing like swearing eternal abstinence with the woman you love.

04-18-2016, 09:26 PM	#1
covance Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Drives: 2015 BRZ series.blue Location: VA Posts: 182 Thanks: 216 Thanked 59 Times in 40 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	I need your wedding/being married jokes My wedding reception is this coming weekend. It is actually the second one for people who could not attend the wedding out of town, so there is less pressure on my thank you speech. Hit me with your "being married" jokes! The fantastically corny one I plan to include so far: My wife told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo so I had to put my foot down. Got 'em!

04-19-2016, 08:14 AM	#2
Captain Snooze Because compromise ® Join Date: Jan 2012 Drives: Red Herring Location: australia Posts: 7,735 Thanks: 3,999 Thanked 9,376 Times in 4,136 Posts Mentioned: 60 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	How is choosing suspension like marriage? Because compromise. __________________ My car is completely stock except for all the mods.

04-19-2016, 08:42 AM	#3
Tcoat Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Drives: 2020 Hakone Location: London, Ont Posts: 69,845 Thanks: 61,656 Thanked 108,286 Times in 46,456 Posts Mentioned: 2495 Post(s) Tagged: 50 Thread(s)	There is not a hope in hell I would use other people's marriage jokes at a wedding! That sort of joke has to be very specific and based on the couple's life events or the next thread would be "Well I lost half the car in my divorce". __________________ Racecar spelled backwards is Racecar, because Racecar.

04-19-2016, 03:22 PM	#14
Kimsey47 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Drives: 2016 STI DGM Location: Chattanooga, TN Posts: 1,875 Thanks: 1,189 Thanked 1,460 Times in 662 Posts Mentioned: 9 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	Being married is great... Nothing like swearing eternal abstinence with the woman you love. __________________ Subaru STI :

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04-19-2016, 09:08 AM	#4
jasonojordan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Drives: 2013 satin white brz limited Location: Cottage Grove MN Posts: 1,049 Thanks: 162 Thanked 511 Times in 326 Posts Mentioned: 4 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	Tcoat hit it on the head. While there are alot of general things that are common in marriage IE you will get in a fight, jokes will not be funny unless they have a direct correlation to your relationship. Kinda like if you were to use this joke. What do my wife and a hot pocket have in common? They both are stuffed with meat. I could get away with that. You try it you could very well end up on the floor.

04-19-2016, 09:20 AM	#5
Atropine Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Drives: 2021 Toyota Supra 2020 4Runner Location: New Plymouth, ID Posts: 701 Thanks: 1,396 Thanked 829 Times in 346 Posts Mentioned: 9 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	Here is one that I kinda believe,,,its lighthearted and should flatter your wife. Getting married is like locking in a good interest rate on a mortgage.

04-19-2016, 02:59 PM	#12
ssyed Senior Member Join Date: May 2014 Drives: 2013 Frs Location: Toronto Posts: 166 Thanks: 77 Thanked 65 Times in 36 Posts Mentioned: 1 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	People saying don't use other people's jokes but then contributed 👍🏿

04-19-2016, 03:15 PM	#13
jasonojordan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Drives: 2013 satin white brz limited Location: Cottage Grove MN Posts: 1,049 Thanks: 162 Thanked 511 Times in 326 Posts Mentioned: 4 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	Well duh we have to give examples of things that can backfire you know

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