Buying your parents a house... - Page 2 - Toyota GR86, 86, FR-S and Subaru BRZ Forum & Owners Community

Kimsey47 · 10-15-2012, 07:51 PM

This would be a really weird situation to be in... I do however think that the best thing to do something small for them like assist with an apartment deposit or something under their names.

Buying a house? No way... I understand family but money issues rip friends and families apart way too much. So, help them some and then leave it to them to be responsible after being assisted. If they can't be responsible then that is on them and you're not left with dealing with the fallout/aftermath.

It kills me to hear situations like this... People who have made bad choices and are down on their luck always seem to expect complete handouts... Complete handouts do not fix the situation and only leave them waiting for more. They need help so if you're going to do anything then I say help. That's it... Just HELP... They've got to live with their mistakes just as we all have. If they're going to make it better then it is on them to turn it around.

Ok, sorry for the rant... Good luck in deciding what to do though! Like it was stated everyone's situation is different! Here's praying it all works out for the best!

Calum · 10-15-2012, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be6sti

You're not heartless. It's a parents job to take care of their young. On the flip side it's much less natural for the young to take care of their parents.

That's not true at all. Many cultures take care of their elderly. I don't know you at all, but that made you seem very intitled.

My mom has made her peace and I have plans in place incase she needs this kind of support, thankfully she doesn't though. My father knows better then to ask. Everyone's situation is different.

be6sti · 10-15-2012, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calum

That's not true at all. Many cultures take care of their elderly. I don't know you at all, but that made you seem very intitled.

My mom has made her peace and I have plans in place incase she needs this kind of support, thankfully she doesn't though. My father knows better then to ask. Everyone's situation is different.

Not going to argue but in cultures yes many take care of the elderly. But much less common in nature.

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JDMenrique · 10-15-2012, 08:11 PM

It's tough man, every scenario is different. Everyone makes mistakes, some more than others. My mother and I have always gotten along and have a great relationship. Recently, my relationship with my father has been pretty sketchy but I still love him and if I can I try to help. At the end of the day they are still your parents, I learned to appreciate my parents once I had my own child.

be6sti · 10-15-2012, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be6sti

You could also try offering to take care of the expenses for your sisters group home. That would force them to make financial choices that even if they made bad ones it would not hurt her if you know what I mean.

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Gonna quote myself because I really feel this is a good way of showing you do care but also holding them responsible for their actions

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RRnold · 10-15-2012, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparkplug

Unfortunately the area that they need to buy in, due to my older sister being mentally handicapped and soon to be placed in a group home, is very expensive. A 2 bedroom town home can run in excess of 300-500 thousand dollars. A fixer-upper home can be had for this amount too, but they aren't exactly in any shape to do any handiwork.

I see it from this point too. I've worked hard to maintain my excellent credit and am just finally starting to see green from my investments. I just don't feel it's right to be even be burdened with their poor financial decisions.

Maybe I'm just heartless.

Quote:

Originally Posted by be6sti

Apartments out of the question?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

So is your sister and parents going to be in the same home?

I don't mean to cross the racial barrier but are you white/caucasian? I'm only asking because a lot of my Asian friends actually did this for their parents as a gift; Chinese, Filipino and Vietnamese. They helped move them into a nicer home along with the relatives so even though they are old, they'll have family around to help watch and take care of them.

Synack · 10-15-2012, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be6sti

Not going to argue but in cultures yes many take care of the elderly. But much less common in nature.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'd hardly call 59 years old elderly. 65+ yes

Sent from my Nexus 7

ahausheer · 10-15-2012, 08:38 PM

Buy it but keep it in your name and have them pay the yearly taxes. That way you are helping them out but in the end you own property that should at least hold its value.

Shagaliscious · 10-15-2012, 08:45 PM

Ridiculous. Even if I had the money, my mom would never ask for something like this.

You had every right to be livid. I probably would've laughed thinking it was a joke at first.

S2kphile · 10-15-2012, 08:52 PM

You should watch ESPN's 30 for 30 "BROKE". I'm all about self-preservation and not giving anyone anything unless they earn it. That is not to say I haven't given material things to family members.

Since your grandparents raised you from 16 on wards, I'd be hesitant to take a financial risk on parents who made poor financial/parental decisions. I'd start with something really small and if they get livid about it because you don't want to buy a house for them. Then that gives you reason to pause (sign) that it's not in the best interest for your financial security.

jimmillion · 10-15-2012, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ahausheer

Buy it but keep it in your name and have them pay the yearly taxes. That way you are helping them out but in the end you own property that should at least hold its value.

^this: even tho it's a lot more of a financial burden on you this is the safest way to maintain that clean credit history of yours.

and plus does it have to be that exact area? can't it be the next area over, you did say you bought them a car.

whaap · 10-15-2012, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ahausheer

Buy it but keep it in your name and have them pay the yearly taxes. That way you are helping them out but in the end you own property that should at least hold its value.

And if they fail to pay the taxes?

Sparkplug · 10-15-2012, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RRnold

So is your sister and parents going to be in the same home?

I don't mean to cross the racial barrier but are you white/caucasian? I'm only asking because a lot of my Asian friends actually did this for their parents as a gift; Chinese, Filipino and Vietnamese. They helped move them into a nicer home along with the relatives so even though they are old, they'll have family around to help watch and take care of them.

I'm white. This really isn't normal among any of my Asian friends even, except those that are first generation Americans.

Maybe it's a bit of motherly instinct that I'm even considering it.

FYI: I did laugh a little when my parents brought it up as I thought it was a total joke.

driftartist · 10-15-2012, 10:17 PM

im an asshole. i would be livid and i would say no. but then again i dont have the best relationship with my parents.

10-15-2012, 07:51 PM	#15
Kimsey47 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Drives: 2016 STI DGM Location: Chattanooga, TN Posts: 1,875 Thanks: 1,189 Thanked 1,460 Times in 662 Posts Mentioned: 9 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	This would be a really weird situation to be in... I do however think that the best thing to do something small for them like assist with an apartment deposit or something under their names. Buying a house? No way... I understand family but money issues rip friends and families apart way too much. So, help them some and then leave it to them to be responsible after being assisted. If they can't be responsible then that is on them and you're not left with dealing with the fallout/aftermath. It kills me to hear situations like this... People who have made bad choices and are down on their luck always seem to expect complete handouts... Complete handouts do not fix the situation and only leave them waiting for more. They need help so if you're going to do anything then I say help. That's it... Just HELP... They've got to live with their mistakes just as we all have. If they're going to make it better then it is on them to turn it around. Ok, sorry for the rant... Good luck in deciding what to do though! Like it was stated everyone's situation is different! Here's praying it all works out for the best! __________________ Subaru STI :

10-15-2012, 08:38 PM	#22
ahausheer Re-member Join Date: Nov 2011 Drives: Toyota camry Location: S. Cali Posts: 1,001 Thanks: 98 Thanked 292 Times in 152 Posts Mentioned: 2 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	Buy it but keep it in your name and have them pay the yearly taxes. That way you are helping them out but in the end you own property that should at least hold its value. __________________ Nothing decays like progress, and nothing preserves like neglect.

10-15-2012, 08:52 PM	#24
S2kphile Resident HoneyBadger Join Date: Nov 2011 Drives: Toyota Tacoma TRD Off-Road Location: The City Posts: 1,345 Thanks: 678 Thanked 680 Times in 339 Posts Mentioned: 2 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	You should watch ESPN's 30 for 30 "BROKE". I'm all about self-preservation and not giving anyone anything unless they earn it. That is not to say I haven't given material things to family members. Since your grandparents raised you from 16 on wards, I'd be hesitant to take a financial risk on parents who made poor financial/parental decisions. I'd start with something really small and if they get livid about it because you don't want to buy a house for them. Then that gives you reason to pause (sign) that it's not in the best interest for your financial security. __________________ Walk like a King, Be like a Sir, Swag it out like a Boss

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10-15-2012, 10:17 PM	#28
driftartist Kurenai Samurai Join Date: May 2012 Drives: Red and manual Location: east bay,ca Posts: 794 Thanks: 186 Thanked 327 Times in 203 Posts Mentioned: 5 Post(s) Tagged: 1 Thread(s)	im an asshole. i would be livid and i would say no. but then again i dont have the best relationship with my parents.

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