Water bubbles damaged paint?
 

Hey so... no idea what happened here but after a car wash I noticed these spots, it seemed like the paint was cracked and water got underneath somehow but I'm not 100% sure. I dont know jack all about paint. I ordered touch up paint incase I might need that.

What is this?
What is the best way to make it go away?

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That is your clearcoat peeling right off the base layer. The high-pressure wash, in conjunction with what looks like a rock chip in the area, caused the damage. The rock chip gave the water an edge to lift.

FYI: This happened to my car from my very own power washer on the front bumper (also had a very small rock chip). I was conscious to keep the nozzle about a foot away too. The paint of these cars is fairly poor from the factory.

You could probably blast away at paint chips on the metal parts all day and never have an issue. Part of the issue on the plastic parts is that they flex a bit under the water pressure and the weakens the paint even more. This will happen on most cars with plastic panels and has little to do with the quality of the paint.

Do you think trying to seal the openings with touch up paint would be a viable solution?

clear should never de-laminate from basecoat. Too much time between basecoat and clearcoat application, or chemical failure. If anything, the base and clear should be flying off the raw plastic as one, not separate. That has to be stripped completely, then painted over

And now you will never go to a touchless car wash again. I'd take that to a paint shop/body shop if you want it to look good again