Random thoughts thread

[Kilzod]

Originally Posted by Calum

@IntotheOcean

I've been earning a wage since I was 10. I used that money to pay for school supplies, clothes, and what ever entertainment I could afford. My mom left my father when I was 6 months old after she found him beating me. For the first few years after that, my childhood was fairly normal, but then my mother started using and things went down hill. After a childhood of my mom and her boy friends drinking, smoking and selling anything possible, police raids, looking for listening devices left by undercover cops, picking my mom up off the floor and checking to see if she was past out or overdosing, having her thrust a knife into my hand and begging me to kill her, and then finally leaving her boyfriend and leaving me with him when I was a teenager. I'm guessing my childhood was "worse" then yours. And I don't feel I'm exaggerating when I say my parents didn't give me anything.

Then again, I did learn a lot from my childhood and in that regard I don't regret it. It could have been better. But then I would've been a different person and it's impossible to say if that truly would have been better or not.

And I have ZERO doubt that there's someone on here that would envy my childhood over their own. My point is that there's always going to be someone worse off, better off, smarter, prettier, whatever. You gotta play the hand you were dealt, stop looking everyone else's and leave the self pity at the door.

Also, university isn't the end all be all to a future.

Thank you for sharing, and I agree completely.

[Calum]

@Guff, when ever you get back at least.

http://www.autotrader.ca/a/Datsun/28...howcpo=ShowCPO

Would this qualify as something you'd like for a project?

[ichitaka05]

Can't focus my eyes. It become blur... both lack of sleep and this cold dry weather is getting it to me.

Warmth... were are you~ I miss you~

[IntotheOcean]

Originally Posted by Calum

@IntotheOcean

I've been earning a wage since I was 10. I used that money to pay for school supplies, clothes, and what ever entertainment I could afford. My mom left my father when I was 6 months old after she found him beating me. For the first few years after that, my childhood was fairly normal, but then my mother started using and things went down hill. After a childhood of my mom and her boy friends drinking, smoking and selling anything possible, police raids, looking for listening devices left by undercover cops, picking my mom up off the floor and checking to see if she was past out or overdosing, having her thrust a knife into my hand and begging me to kill her, and then finally leaving her boyfriend and leaving me with him when I was a teenager. I'm guessing my childhood was "worse" then yours. And I don't feel I'm exaggerating when I say my parents didn't give me anything.

Then again, I did learn a lot from my childhood and in that regard I don't regret it. It could have been better. But then I would've been a different person and it's impossible to say if that truly would have been better or not.

And I have ZERO doubt that there's someone on here that would envy my childhood over their own. My point is that there's always going to be someone worse off, better off, smarter, prettier, whatever. You gotta play the hand you were dealt, stop looking everyone else's and leave the self pity at the door.

Also, university isn't the end all be all to a future.

Thank you. You are totally right!
But I don't pity myself-I just find this hand I've been delt with difficult. But in the big picture, no.. Its really not.
I'm glad you made it through everything and got to where you are now.
I'm looking forward to the day I can look back on all of this and have a sense of accomplishment

[IntotheOcean]

I'm actually really proud of myself for being able to push threw two jobs and still be able to save after everything else is paid for. They say getting a car is the 2nd most expensive thing a person can buy in their life(1st being a house) I feel like it's the 3rd, but either way-if I can do this than I can do so much more
My right of passage to adulthood

[Giccin]

I went to Chuck-E-Cheeses not too long ago for a friend's daughter's birthday party.

I discovered they had this Initial D simulation machine that throws you around. Unfortunately it didn't have a MT but nonetheless... that's where all of my game tokens went to...

[ichitaka05]

Originally Posted by Giccin

I went to Chuck-E-Cheeses not too long ago for a friend's daughter's birthday party.

I discovered they had this Initial D simulation machine that throws you around. Unfortunately it didn't have a MT but nonetheless... that's where all of my game tokens went to...

Now, that's worth every tokens!

[Giccin]

Originally Posted by ichitaka05

Now, that's worth every tokens!

It looked exactly like this



It would try to mimic all of the elevation changes and the bumps as well as the braking and shifting. Lol

[Calum]

Ok, I've got to clear something up. I feel like I've misrepresented my parents and that isn't fair. To be completely honest, I'm actually grateful for what my parents did. From the outside, what I wrote is what most people would have seen. But when you look at the whys, both mom and dad did everything they were capable of. The reason my father was hitting me was because I represented absolute terror to him. He was afraid of himself and for me, that he would do to me what his father did to him. But other then hitting me a couple times and then just being absent from my childhood he made the decision to stay away. This wasn't an easy decision for him, but he felt it was for my best, to break the cycle. And now that I have two boys, he's chosen to stay away from them to. I know he doesn't enjoy it, but I'm proud of him for his resolve and feel lucky that he didn't continue the abuse cycle like so many other parents would have. He was repeatedly sexually abused by his father.

My mom was the result of a rape. Her mother put her up for adoption because she wanted nothing to do with my mom, which I can understand. The family that adopted my mother used to beat the crap out of her and their sons. All three siblings still sleep with a light on because of the beatings they used to wake up to. My mother worked her ass off through high school and saved the money to go to university at the other side of the country, as far from here as possible. Her adopted father found the money and the acceptance letter one day, took them to the bar and bought rounds until the money was gone and then burnt the letter.

So at 17 she jumped ship. She found my father, who is gay but was trying to deny it as he feels his father caused it, and they basically ran off together. The two of them weren't ready to be adults let alone parents. But they both did the best they could. Mom protected us (I have an older sister) from physical harm, she worked two and three jobs when she wasn't on welfare and when a chance to make a little side money came she took it. Things went down hill pretty hard, but she never hit us and she never let anyone else hit us no matter what that meant. She left a few guys for hitting one of us just once. Considering at this point she still felt completely hopeless and helpless, to leave an income and the support of another adult could not have been easy. When my sister had moved out and mom felt I was old enough to take care of myself, she left. Again it wasn't easy, but she needed to put some closure to her childhood and figure out how to be an adult. I don't mean paying bills and going to work, I mean emotional maturity. She was starting her forties and had no idea how to express anger or love.

Most good parents try to do better then their parents did. My parents identify the main parts of their childhood that they wished were better and change those things for me and my sister. Sure, I wasn't given a car, but I can tell you with absolutely certainty that both of my parents love me. Beyond that, everything else is just extras.

[ichitaka05]

Originally Posted by Giccin

It looked exactly like this



It would try to mimic all of the elevation changes and the bumps as well as the braking and shifting. Lol

That's just awesome!

[bestwheelbase]

Originally Posted by ichitaka05

Can't focus my eyes. It become blur... both lack of sleep and this cold dry weather is getting it to me.

Warmth... were are you~ I miss you~

On a similar note...

Why do we even have sinuses? What do they do? Why does my head feel like a balloon going through constant pressure changes? Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Maybe whiskey will help.

[bestwheelbase]

Originally Posted by Calum

Ok, I've got to clear something up.

Your candor, it is good.

[Dimman]

I have a headache.

[wrxgoose]

really don't wanna work tonight. 1630-0200 and i'll probably get stuck with the low income area deliveries with my luck. that means shit tips.