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Old 09-06-2015, 01:09 AM   #27805
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Originally Posted by VTR View Post
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.


He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”


She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said.

“And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said,

“Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".
Holy crap VTR is branching out into the realm of text.
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Old 09-06-2015, 01:27 AM   #27806
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Toothache got me looking at food like

http://i.imgur.com/omOA8jX.webm

NOPE NOPE NOPE

HAVING NIGHTMARES LATER ON
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Hey, you're the one asking me to shove a turbo engine in my pants.
The Twins make me smile
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Old 09-06-2015, 01:47 AM   #27807
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Was out playing pool with a friend. When we went to leave, we saw a car pull up near a group of people, and one of the people said, "hey, are you the Uber car?". Guy says yes and they all pile in.

That was my cue to point out that it could have been anyone taking them anywhere, and a 90 minute debate with my friend over the ethics of Uber ensued.
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Old 09-06-2015, 01:56 AM   #27808
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Was out playing pool with a friend. When we went to leave, we saw a car pull up near a group of people, and one of the people said, "hey, are you the Uber car?". Guy says yes and they all pile in.

That was my cue to point out that it could have been anyone taking them anywhere, and a 90 minute debate with my friend over the ethics of Uber ensued.
My home town is fighting Uber tooth and nail. They are tracking them down and ticketing them for vehicle violations, improper insurance and whatever else they can find.
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Old 09-07-2015, 08:03 PM   #27809
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I'M SOOOO BORED -__-

It's my day off but nothing to do. I have a sports car but don't feel like driving anywhere. I also have the world's information at my fingertips and don't know what to do with it.

Bleh.

/firstworldissues
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Hey, you're the one asking me to shove a turbo engine in my pants.
The Twins make me smile
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Old 09-07-2015, 09:23 PM   #27810
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I'M SOOOO BORED -__-

It's my day off but nothing to do. I have a sports car but don't feel like driving anywhere. I also have the world's information at my fingertips and don't know what to do with it.

Bleh.

/firstworldissues
http://www.cracked.com/
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Old 09-07-2015, 10:07 PM   #27811
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I'm almost finished with Mrs. Ultra's front struts. Next comes fresh rubber and straight to the alignment rack.
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Old 09-07-2015, 11:27 PM   #27812
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Just ordered a 100 dollar shift knob, I think I have a problem, I just love stuff
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Officer: "Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?"
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Officer: "No, no you don't."
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Old 09-07-2015, 11:48 PM   #27813
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I'm almost finished with Mrs. Ultra's front struts. Next comes fresh rubber and straight to the alignment rack.
D:

What car does Mrs. Ultra drive?

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Just ordered a 100 dollar shift knob, I think I have a problem, I just love stuff
Before I bought this car, I never cared for stuff. Ever since I bought this car, I want to buy... just things to add on to it.
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Hey, you're the one asking me to shove a turbo engine in my pants.
The Twins make me smile
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Old 09-08-2015, 12:00 AM   #27814
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I just see stuff and think "Oh wow I NEED that thing!" Although my brain knows it's not even going to change anything I just feel the need!
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Old 09-08-2015, 12:29 AM   #27815
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What car does Mrs. Ultra drive?
03 Camry. Man, it feels like new. Can't wait for the alignment. I replaced the rear uprights, stab bushings, and struts a couple weeks ago. Front struts finish it up.

Up until a year ago I drove a 91 Eclipse. I was fine with it but my whole family felt sorry for me. Now I have the "nice" car and I feel a little guilty.
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Old 09-08-2015, 12:48 AM   #27816
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03 Camry. Man, it feels like new. Can't wait for the alignment. I replaced the rear uprights, stab bushings, and struts a couple weeks ago. Front struts finish it up.

Up until a year ago I drove a 91 Eclipse. I was fine with it but my whole family felt sorry for me. Now I have the "nice" car and I feel a little guilty.
Time to go slide the Camry around!

I, too, have the "nice" car. Still trying to take my dad out for a drive but he doesn't want to lol...

Guessing he's happy with his minivan but he needs something fun for the weekends.
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Old 09-08-2015, 12:55 AM   #27817
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Time to go slide the Camry around!

I, too, have the "nice" car. Still trying to take my dad out for a drive but he doesn't want to lol...

Guessing he's happy with his minivan but he needs something fun for the weekends.
Dad still hasn't gone out with you? That's interesting. You'll break him down in due time.
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:01 AM   #27818
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Dad still hasn't gone out with you? That's interesting. You'll break him down in due time.
Yeah.. He's like that dad in the Japanese BRZ commercial haha

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oh_4S40KyHs"]New Subaru BRZ 2013 Japan Funny Commercial - Carjam TV HD Car Show 2013 - YouTube[/ame]
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