Random Thoughts - Part III The Search for Spark (No Politics)

[Teseo]

Originally Posted by spike021

I find myself in an interesting situation lately. At my apartment complex we usually meet other people with dogs. One of the dogs Haru really gets along with belongs to this slightly older lady (I'd guess maybe 35-40 give or take). So she's 5+ years older than me.

Couple months ago when Haru got neutered we started joking around a lot usually about that procedure and how Haru would be afterward.

Long story short for maybe the last month now we've been flirting a LOT. Or at least it seems that way (I'm always really bad at these types of things). At the time of the neutering and stuff she insisted on giving me her number. So since then we text fairly frequently.

She's divorced and has two kids. One in middle school and one in elementary school I think. I'm not really the type to be interested in someone with kids and/or has been married previously so the situation is really kinda unusual for me.

But the nice thing is she's been a huge change of pace from girls closer to my age (even at ~30) who are completely immature still. We still joke quite a bit, sometimes about relatively sexual things and sometimes just a lot of dog related stuff or personal things. But also have had decent conversations about life, like where we'd want to live if not in this expensive turd of an area. And other interesting topics. This is all either when our dogs play, sometimes for at least an hour, or via texts.

I'm kinda wrestling with what I should do lol.

Pump & Dump
Never settle with a woman with another man's child, is like playing a saved game previously. Always start fresh

[spike021]

It probably is just best to let it be .

Honestly her kids are super annoying when she brings them with on walks, but I think that's more of a generational difference than anything.

She hasn't shown herself to be "crazy" in a noticeable way at least yet but yeah that could be hidden under the surface too.

It's definitely tricky. My grandparents had an 8 year gap, and I believe my aunt/uncle were about that much or a little less apart too. So it's not _unusual_ in my family at least.

I think the main thing is just the prior marriage and kids lol.

[MyHybridBurnsGasAndTires]

Originally Posted by Teseo

Pump & Dump
Never settle with a woman with another man's child, is like playing a saved game previously. Always start fresh

what a weird comment

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by spike021

It probably is just best to let it be .

Honestly her kids are super annoying when she brings them with on walks, but I think that's more of a generational difference than anything.

She hasn't shown herself to be "crazy" in a noticeable way at least yet but yeah that could be hidden under the surface too.

It's definitely tricky. My grandparents had an 8 year gap, and I believe my aunt/uncle were about that much or a little less apart too. So it's not _unusual_ in my family at least.

I think the main thing is just the prior marriage and kids lol.

You are very rapidly approaching an age where there will either be prior marriage and/or kids involved or they are a raging nutcase that everybody dropped. These will be the norm not the exceptions. Now of course there will be sub variations of the two that may be tolerable but only trial and error will tell the whole story.

Don't turn away just because they are divorced or have kids. You may be running from the perfect match. There are no guaranties in life but just listening to the "Stay away bro' crowd could ruin something that could be good.

[weederr33]

Originally Posted by Teseo

Pump & Dump
Never settle with a woman with another man's child, is like playing a saved game previously. Always start fresh

That’s an odd analogy I actually like. But I also don’t pump and dump.

[Sapphireho]

Originally Posted by Teseo

Pump & Dump
Never settle with a woman with another man's child, is like playing a saved game previously. Always start fresh

Ok, first of all, the term is "hump'em and dump'em".

Using people never works out well, and I don't think Spike is anywhere near that kind of guy.

And tcoat is right spike.

[Spuds]

Originally Posted by NoHaveMSG

Just keep things going as is for now and don’t stress it.

The older you get, it becomes more likely that they have kids/previous marriage. Having kids tends to grow people up fast who may have been immature before. Once you start getting over 30 and they haven’t been married or had kids, that’s where you find the real psychos.

I know quite a few no-more-psycho-than-usual single women over 30 with no kids though...

[NoHaveMSG]

Originally Posted by Spuds

I know quite a few no-more-psycho-than-usual single women over 30 with no kids though...

I do too. The two I hung out with a few times were super career oriented and successful and approached relationship’s the same way. Very strict goals on what should be happening within a certain time frame. Listening to them made it sound like they were looking for an employee and not a partner.

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by Spuds

I know quite a few no-more-psycho-than-usual single women over 30 with no kids though...

I very clearly covered that

"Now of course there will be sub variations of the two that may be tolerable..."

There will also be compete psychopaths with kids.

The point was simply that you need to spend some time and find out the reality of the situation not just throw one group or the other out because people say to.

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by NoHaveMSG

I do too. The two I hung out with a few times were super career oriented and successful and approached relationship’s the same way. Very strict goals on what should be happening within a certain time frame. Listening to them made it sound like they were looking for an employee and not a partner.

And that is a sub variant of the nutcase really. Best to avoid unless you fully agree with them in every aspect of life as you will ALWAYS be subservient.

[Sapphireho]

Originally Posted by NoHaveMSG

I do too. The two I hung out with a few times were super career oriented and successful and approached relationship’s the same way. Very strict goals on what should be happening within a certain time frame. Listening to them made it sound like they were looking for an employee and not a partner.

Soooo, cra-cra?

[NoHaveMSG]

Originally Posted by Sapphireho

Soooo, cra-cra?

Kinda. Just unrealistic expectations from too many lifetime movies I think. That and if you were okay with not having an opinion on anything. I have a couple friends that married women like this and are okay with it, one lives in Texas now.

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by NoHaveMSG

Kinda. Just unrealistic expectations from too many lifetime movies I think. That and if you were okay with not having an opinion on anything. I have a couple friends that married women like this and are okay with it, one lives in Texas now.

It's OK at some point she will get sent to some small town to shut down a factory/get a scoop on a story/sell the inn store or house she inherited and have a run in with some guy that she immediately hates with a passion. So after she will discover that this guy is a Christmas tree farmer/writer/handyman/undercover prince/past romance that is in some way directly involved in her mission. He will be a very handsome and charming widower with a young daughter (never ever a boy) but will start out all angsty about something. Through the process of whatever she needs to do they will suddenly fall in love, she will do the opposite of whatever she was supposed to and abandon the big city and career she worked so hard on. All of these events will of course occur around whatever season it is.

[Captain Snooze]

Originally Posted by Tcoat

she worked so hard on.

I thought that read funny.
Instead of the Hallmark card it should have a porn scene.