Random Thoughts - Part Deux [NO POLITICS]

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by Teseo

I want the stories were was involved a latina

Oh, those get quite colorful ....... are you sure you want to hear one .....??

Which one haven't I told .....??

* the girl at a whore house outside of Mazatlán ...?

* the girl that wouldn't get out of my truck ..?

* my first "encounter" in Tijuana ..?





humfrz

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by humfrz

OK, even if Tcoat tells me I've told it before ....... I'll tell one of my favorite stories.

It was a hot summer evening in the desert at Ft Irwin, CA. We had been in that hell hole for two weeks training troops. I had driven my trusty Ford Gran Torino down there, the rest of my soldiers were transported by bus. So, I loaded up three of my junior officers and we blasted off to civilization, still dressed in our dusty, sweat soaked fatigues.

Our first stop was in Barstow, CA, where my junior officers scored some weed and I purchased a quart of whisky. With the car full of pot smoke and my open bottle of whisky between my legs, off we went, heading to San Jose.

We breezed through Bakersfield and up Route 99. When we cut off 99 on route 46 to get over to I-5, the guys got a bad case of the munchies ....... so, we stopped in this little diner in Wasco for some burgers. Needless to say, the gang was feeling no pain. We got into the diner and ordered from this cute little waitress when Lt Ted, who fashioned himself as a ladies man, got a little too frisky with the waitress. Lt Rod tried to calm him down, but Lt Ted just kept on.

About that time, Captain humfrz, told them to straighten up or we were leaving. Too late, one of the cowboys at the counter confronted Ted and said the waitress was his sister. I thought to myself, sister or not, most of the folks in Wasco were inbred and related one way or another.

So, about that time, a few more cowboys entered the "discussion" which really triggered my other two officers. So, since my "soldiers" were stoned and I was half drunk, I figured a retrograde maneuver was in order, so we all dashed for my command vehicle.

Now, those dumb shit cowboys just wouldn't let it go and started chasing us in their pickup trucks. I TOLD my troops not to worry, once I got my big Ford up on the highway, it was a straight shot to I-5 and I could outrun them.

Well, Ted got impatient and drug a pack of hand grenade simulators out from under the front seat, unpackaged them and he and Rod were pulling the strings and throwing them out the windows at the pickup trucks full of cowboys. Now, the Wasco cowboys, knowing were Army, weren't sure if the grenades were real or not ....... so, they backed off.

I was pissed because I had plans for those simulators (however, I had two more packages).

Now, we were behind schedule, because I had to get to San Jose before the busses with the rest of my troops arrived. So, at about 2100 hrs, we hit I-5 just East of Lost Hills. So, hammer down. I was well into that bottle of whisky and the junior officers were pretty well wasted, when Rod piped up from the back seat and commented ...... can't this car go any faster. Mike, the quiet one was riding shotgun and told Rod to shut up, I was already going 115 mph. Sure enough I was ......

Well, we arrived at the army reserve center in San Jose, well before the bus. My three officers piled into a van with their wives and continued their pot party. I polished off my bottle of whisky, then tried to sober up enough to dismiss the troops after they arrived.


THE END


humfrz

All clear. You have told none before.

[ScoobsMcGee]

The number of people downloading malware trying to get bitcoin miners over the past two weeks has been impressive, but not very surprising. My personal favorites have been the people who enter requests to whitelist the malware, not understanding that it isn't actually a miner, nor understanding that they shouldn't be using their work issued laptop to mine bitcoins.

[Boomerang]

Originally Posted by humfrz

OK, even if Tcoat tells me I've told it before ....... I'll tell one of my favorite stories.

It was a hot summer evening in the desert at Ft Irwin, CA. We had been in that hell hole for two weeks training troops. I had driven my trusty Ford Gran Torino down there, the rest of my soldiers were transported by bus. So, I loaded up three of my junior officers and we blasted off to civilization, still dressed in our dusty, sweat soaked fatigues.

Our first stop was in Barstow, CA, where my junior officers scored some weed and I purchased a quart of whisky. With the car full of pot smoke and my open bottle of whisky between my legs, off we went, heading to San Jose.

We breezed through Bakersfield and up Route 99. When we cut off 99 on route 46 to get over to I-5, the guys got a bad case of the munchies ....... so, we stopped in this little diner in Wasco for some burgers. Needless to say, the gang was feeling no pain. We got into the diner and ordered from this cute little waitress when Lt Ted, who fashioned himself as a ladies man, got a little too frisky with the waitress. Lt Rod tried to calm him down, but Lt Ted just kept on.

About that time, Captain humfrz, told them to straighten up or we were leaving. Too late, one of the cowboys at the counter confronted Ted and said the waitress was his sister. I thought to myself, sister or not, most of the folks in Wasco were inbred and related one way or another.

So, about that time, a few more cowboys entered the "discussion" which really triggered my other two officers. So, since my "soldiers" were stoned and I was half drunk, I figured a retrograde maneuver was in order, so we all dashed for my command vehicle.

Now, those dumb shit cowboys just wouldn't let it go and started chasing us in their pickup trucks. I TOLD my troops not to worry, once I got my big Ford up on the highway, it was a straight shot to I-5 and I could outrun them.

Well, Ted got impatient and drug a pack of hand grenade simulators out from under the front seat, unpackaged them and he and Rod were pulling the strings and throwing them out the windows at the pickup trucks full of cowboys. Now, the Wasco cowboys, knowing were Army, weren't sure if the grenades were real or not ....... so, they backed off.

I was pissed because I had plans for those simulators (however, I had two more packages).

Now, we were behind schedule, because I had to get to San Jose before the busses with the rest of my troops arrived. So, at about 2100 hrs, we hit I-5 just East of Lost Hills. So, hammer down. I was well into that bottle of whisky and the junior officers were pretty well wasted, when Rod piped up from the back seat and commented ...... can't this car go any faster. Mike, the quiet one was riding shotgun and told Rod to shut up, I was already going 115 mph. Sure enough I was ......

Well, we arrived at the army reserve center in San Jose, well before the bus. My three officers piled into a van with their wives and continued their pot party. I polished off my bottle of whisky, then tried to sober up enough to dismiss the troops after they arrived.


THE END


humfrz

If you ever do an autobiography(somehow I think you already have), I will buy it

[Spuds]

Originally Posted by humfrz

OK, even if Tcoat tells me I've told it before ....... I'll tell one of my favorite stories.

It was a hot summer evening in the desert at Ft Irwin, CA. We had been in that hell hole for two weeks training troops. I had driven my trusty Ford Gran Torino down there, the rest of my soldiers were transported by bus. So, I loaded up three of my junior officers and we blasted off to civilization, still dressed in our dusty, sweat soaked fatigues.

Our first stop was in Barstow, CA, where my junior officers scored some weed and I purchased a quart of whisky. With the car full of pot smoke and my open bottle of whisky between my legs, off we went, heading to San Jose.

We breezed through Bakersfield and up Route 99. When we cut off 99 on route 46 to get over to I-5, the guys got a bad case of the munchies ....... so, we stopped in this little diner in Wasco for some burgers. Needless to say, the gang was feeling no pain. We got into the diner and ordered from this cute little waitress when Lt Ted, who fashioned himself as a ladies man, got a little too frisky with the waitress. Lt Rod tried to calm him down, but Lt Ted just kept on.

About that time, Captain humfrz, told them to straighten up or we were leaving. Too late, one of the cowboys at the counter confronted Ted and said the waitress was his sister. I thought to myself, sister or not, most of the folks in Wasco were inbred and related one way or another.

So, about that time, a few more cowboys entered the "discussion" which really triggered my other two officers. So, since my "soldiers" were stoned and I was half drunk, I figured a retrograde maneuver was in order, so we all dashed for my command vehicle.

Now, those dumb shit cowboys just wouldn't let it go and started chasing us in their pickup trucks. I TOLD my troops not to worry, once I got my big Ford up on the highway, it was a straight shot to I-5 and I could outrun them.

Well, Ted got impatient and drug a pack of hand grenade simulators out from under the front seat, unpackaged them and he and Rod were pulling the strings and throwing them out the windows at the pickup trucks full of cowboys. Now, the Wasco cowboys, knowing were Army, weren't sure if the grenades were real or not ....... so, they backed off.

I was pissed because I had plans for those simulators (however, I had two more packages).

Now, we were behind schedule, because I had to get to San Jose before the busses with the rest of my troops arrived. So, at about 2100 hrs, we hit I-5 just East of Lost Hills. So, hammer down. I was well into that bottle of whisky and the junior officers were pretty well wasted, when Rod piped up from the back seat and commented ...... can't this car go any faster. Mike, the quiet one was riding shotgun and told Rod to shut up, I was already going 115 mph. Sure enough I was ......

Well, we arrived at the army reserve center in San Jose, well before the bus. My three officers piled into a van with their wives and continued their pot party. I polished off my bottle of whisky, then tried to sober up enough to dismiss the troops after they arrived.


THE END


humfrz

First of all, , but I'm sure you already did that to yourself by now.
Second of all, Barstow hardly counts as civilization now, much less back in the day.
Third,
And that's all I have to say about that.

[Slammillionaire]

Originally Posted by ScoobsMcGee

The number of people downloading malware trying to get bitcoin miners over the past two weeks has been impressive, but not very surprising. My personal favorites have been the people who enter requests to whitelist the malware, not understanding that it isn't actually a miner, nor understanding that they shouldn't be using their work issued laptop to mine bitcoins.

As a fellow IT helpdesk guy, i feel your pain.

[ScoobsMcGee]

Originally Posted by Slammillionaire

As a fellow IT helpdesk guy, i feel your pain.

Thanks, but sadly it is the local IT helpdesk guys who put in the requests.

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by Spuds

First of all, , but I'm sure you already did that to yourself by now.
Second of all, Barstow hardly counts as civilization now, much less back in the day.
Third,
And that's all I have to say about that.

Yep, you're right ....... drinking while driving is NOT a good idea ......

Yep, right again, Barstow is hardly considered civilization.

However, "civilization" is relative depending where you are "coming from" ..... like from in the middle of a desert ......


humfrz

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by Boomerang

If you ever do an autobiography(somehow I think you already have), I will buy it

Thanks.

But, no I haven't.

If I ever did, it would have to be in two parts ..... one part (like these stories) could be published while I'm still alive ....... the second part would be best (for me) if it was published after I pass away ....... iffen ya know what I mean .....


humfrz

[Ultramaroon]

Originally Posted by Kiske

Ended up working out. After 3 hours of shut eye, rolled in extra early this morning and attacked it with a block and 320grit. Mixed up the gelcoat hot so I coul roll and had the paint details laid and re-cleared around 1pm. Used a speed clear with a 40min tack and 2hour full cure time.



The bitch is, the damn thing is so big, being in the way we pretty much shut the entire shop down until we finished late afternoon. On top of 'wasted' labor, 30oz of gelcoat, 60oz of clear. And the "lovely" attitudes directed at me and being on the shit list for the rest of the day. LMAO

It's not the first, nor the last. I've got year of fixing fuck ups under my belt. Thankfully and (sadly) most are not my own.

It's very helpful in these situations to be known as the go-to guy for fixing other people's fuck ups.

Unfortunately on the flip side, as the old saying goes, "One 'aw shit' wipes out ten thousand 'atta boys.'"

[Ultramaroon]

Originally Posted by humfrz

Yep, you're right ....... drinking while driving is NOT a good idea ......

Yep, right again, Barstow is hardly considered civilization.

However, "civilization" is relative depending where you are "coming from" ..... like from in the middle of a desert ......


humfrz

Ah, the old Barstow To Vegas run. Anybody from that area ever do it? I dreamed about in my teen motocrossing years. Then life took over. Maybe someday before I'm too old and broken...

http://www.labarstowvegas.com/photo-video/photos

[Slammillionaire]

Originally Posted by ScoobsMcGee

Thanks, but sadly it is the local IT helpdesk guys who put in the requests.

Oh god even worse

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by Ultramaroon

Ah, the old Barstow To Vegas run. Anybody from that area ever do it? I dreamed about in my teen motocrossing years. Then life took over. Maybe someday before I'm too old and broken...

Well, I've done some dirt bike riding in some of the semi-arid areas of CA, but nothing like that. That would be a brutal 150+ miles ......


humfrz

[Sapphireho]

Originally Posted by Ultramaroon

Ah, the old Barstow To Vegas run. Anybody from that area ever do it? I dreamed about in my teen motocrossing years. Then life took over. Maybe someday before I'm too old and broken...

http://www.labarstowvegas.com/photo-video/photos

My knees hurt just looking at that.