Random Thoughts - Part Deux [NO POLITICS]

[echo419]

Originally Posted by Tcoat

When they ask "what do you do" you answer with pride. If they ask "how much do you earn" you tell them it is none of their business.

I don't think anyone would ask how much I make. but everything else aside I just plain hate my job and as a result hate talking about it as a general rule.

If they all work at the same place and talk internal business then it doesn't matter what level you are at you will be left out. If not and it is just general talk then you can join in and just smile an nod a lot.

sure I get office small talk is a thing and it happens. that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the, "we're having a business meeting at noon. tell your wives to get their nails done or hangout by the pool while we're busy.

The fact you are not married may bother you families but I highly doubt that her business associates give a single damn.

oh it's a big deal at her firm. so much so that she was concerned that she wouldn't make Partner because she wasn't married and that they viewed that as her not being "stable" or whatever.

it's funny this places goes on and on about how they are all about "family" and employees being family oriented. but the nature of the business is lots of long hours(mostly seasonal) and they are constantly pushing the higher ups to go to all these happy hour mixers, speaking engagements and just general after business hours events. they're basically saying, "have a family and all that but we want you to be at work or work related events all day everyday.". it's like they're talking out both sides of their mouths.

I stand by my statement that they just don't care as much as you think they do and the problem is more in your head than theirs.

I would agree if it wasn't for her friend's husband who is a former vendor of mine at work. long story short we all think he's a bit of a gold digger. he's constantly bragging about the things they buy or their giant house that they really can't afford. he'll go to firm events and tell her superiors that they make her work to much and basically stick his nose in their business. he'll tall new employees, "welcome to the firm. we're glad to have you." like he works there. generally speaking people don't have a very high opinion of him or his profession which is basically mine since he used to supply me.

I just don't want to go to these things. I don't understand why her job has to defacto be mine as well. you'd think they would understand but they give her grief if I don't show up to something. I'm like, "sorry I don't want to eat your food and drink your booze even though I don't want to be here?". mind boggling.

Originally Posted by Sapphireho

The performers at the half time show were giving me a very conflicting report of the weather in Atlanta. One guy was shirtless, the other had a giant fur coat?

Sunday in Atlanta was very nice. in fact a few days leading up to it was some of the best weather we've had in a while. dry, sunny and in the 60s for the high. it's been pretty wonderful lately.

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by ScoobsMcGee

So you think you work for a decently sized company until you read just how many people GM is laying off, and how many they plan to lay off. Overall, they're going to fire almost as many people as the entire company I work for.

https://www.autonews.com/executives/...-job-cuts-week

I am pretty high in the hierarchy of our company and there are still probably 100 people above me at the North American corporate level. I have no clue what all those people do. That is one small department of a massive employer. We could probably lay off an easy 5,000 people and not feel any affect. Overall that would be about 2% of our world wide numbers.

[ScoobsMcGee]

Originally Posted by Tcoat

I stand by my statement that they just don't care as much as you think they do and the problem is more in your head than theirs.

Might be getting a bit into real talk, but when people start avoiding social situations due to this, it is the basis of social anxiety disorder. What sucks about it is that even though the person completely understands that the concern isn't rational, they can't shake the feeling.

Originally Posted by Tcoat

I am pretty high in the hierarchy of our company and there are still probably 100 people above me at the North American corporate level. I have no clue what all those people do. That is one small department of a massive employer. We could probably lay off an easy 5,000 people and not feel any affect. Overall that would be about 2% of our world wide numbers.

Yeah, this is all a matter of perspective. My first IT gig was with a local insurance provider that peaked at 230 employees. Moving to this one, which I've now been at for 13 years, 12,000 employees and global offices seemed huge. Now the company went through a merger, raising employee count by about 50%, but is still tiny in the grand scheme of things.

[qcbaker]

I am but a cog in the great machine.

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by ScoobsMcGee

Might be getting a bit into real talk, but when people start avoiding social situations due to this, it is the basis of social anxiety disorder. What sucks about it is that even though the person completely understands that the concern isn't rational, they can't shake the feeling.

Yep. Could be why I can never associate with the concern since social anxiety has never been an issue for me. In fact I may swing to far in the other direction sometimes and be a little more comfortable in a social situation than I really should be.

[qcbaker]

Speaking of getting a little too real...

I don't ever get anxiety regarding situations like echo described (I don't care very much about how people I don't know/care about view me) but I do get in my own head a bit about whether or not I truly deserve to be where I am. Sometimes I feel like "Yeah, I know I'm qualified to be where I am in a technical sense, but I don't feel like I really had to work as hard as I should have to get here."

Funnily enough, recently I was having a "bad day" thinking about stuff like that, feeling pretty shitty, and out of the blue one of my former co-workers texted me about how a dude who we used to work with, who neither of us liked very much for reasons I will explain, had put his two weeks notice in. This dude was a typical spoiled rich kid, always talking about people his lawyer dad knew, and he was incredibly bad at his job. He was always screwing up or forgetting to do things, which always ended up back on my plate. Anyway, when I heard he was leaving, I made a mean joke saying "Wonder who he tricked into hiring him this time. Maybe he's finally given up and is just gonna go work for his rich daddy or something" and my buddy responded "Well, that is actually where he's going lol".

Weirdly, hearing that sort of quelled my negative thoughts and gave me a slightly different perspective and made me feel a bit better. Maybe I have had it easier than others, but at least I'm not that guy.

[echo419]

Originally Posted by ScoobsMcGee

Might be getting a bit into real talk, but when people start avoiding social situations due to this, it is the basis of social anxiety disorder. What sucks about it is that even though the person completely understands that the concern isn't rational, they can't shake the feeling.

normally I'd agree but SA isn't my issue. if anything I'm much better off in a group of strangers than she is unless she's talking about work stuff.

ya see my concern is completely rational and I have evidence in the friend which I discussed in my last post. that being said I don't like going to my own work functions. even if I didn't have the concerns with going to her work things that I do I still wouldn't want to go because there's at least a dozen other things that I'd rather be doing. I go to work so I can live a comfortable life and enjoy things/company I like. the last thing I want to do is have work related things eat into the already limited time I have to enjoy things.

what's strange is with my outgoing personality(it has it's limits) I tend to say inappropriate things. this grows exponentially in frequency and severity when I drink. she knows this very well and so does anyone that knows me. why she wants to throw me into situations like firm events is mind boggling to me.

[Sapphireho]

Originally Posted by qcbaker

I am but a cog in the great machine.

.

[qcbaker]

Originally Posted by echo419

that being said I don't like going to my own work functions. even if I didn't have the concerns with going to her work things that I do I still wouldn't want to go because there's at least a dozen other things that I'd rather be doing. I go to work so I can live a comfortable life and enjoy things/company I like. the last thing I want to do is have work related things eat into the already limited time I have to enjoy things.

I like what I do, but I still feel the exact same way. I basically never go to any non-mandatory work functions if they fall outside of normal work hours. I may enjoy my line of work, but at the end of the day its still something I do because I have to, not because I want to.

[echo419]

I should point out that they were planning on having a
Partner dinner". I forget the purpose, but I think it was to welcome the new Partners. The person planning it asked her if March 7th would work for US. she told them I wouldn't be able to make it which would have been her response regardless but in this case my excuse is legit. I have a powerlifting meet on March 9th and as a result I will be doing a very easy and light diet that week to make sure I can make weight. it's basically just me not eating the day before weigh ins and that's all it takes. so as you can imagine going out to dinner the night before to eat and drink a ton isn't an option.

they rescheduled the entire dinner just so I could come. read that carefully. they moved the day for a dinner for about 60 people because I couldn't make it. she tried telling the person that I really didn't want to come but they didn't take the hint.

[Dadhawk]

Originally Posted by ScoobsMcGee

So you think you work for a decently sized company until you read just how many people GM is laying off, and how many they plan to lay off. Overall, they're going to fire almost as many people as the entire company I work for.

Right now I work for the smallest company I've worked for in my professional career. I have to remind them all the time that when it comes to vendors like Microsoft, etc we are a small fish in a huge ocean.

I have literally worked for companies that had more IT employees than my current company has in it's full workforce for @3,500 employees.

[qcbaker]

Originally Posted by echo419

I should point out that they were planning on having a
Partner dinner". I forget the purpose, but I think it was to welcome the new Partners. The person planning it asked her if March 7th would work for US. she told them I wouldn't be able to make it which would have been her response regardless but in this case my excuse is legit. I have a powerlifting meet on March 9th and as a result I will be doing a very easy and light diet that week to make sure I can make weight. it's basically just me not eating the day before weigh ins and that's all it takes. so as you can imagine going out to dinner the night before to eat and drink a ton isn't an option.

they rescheduled the entire dinner just so I could come. read that carefully. they moved the day for a dinner for about 60 people because I couldn't make it. she tried telling the person that I really didn't want to come but they didn't take the hint.

Weird. Maybe its a keeping up appearances type of thing? You said earlier that your SO was worried that you guys not being married made her appear "unstable" or whatever, so it makes at least a little sense that they would want you there as well to show that she is indeed "stable", whatever that means.

[Dadhawk]

Originally Posted by echo419

I should point out that they were planning on having a Partner dinner". …..they rescheduled the entire dinner just so I could come. read that carefully. they moved the day for a dinner for about 60 people because I couldn't make it. she tried telling the person that I really didn't want to come but they didn't take the hint.

In some company cultures this is considered a very important part of their structure. If it is something they are willing to go to that much trouble to arrange, it is something you would have to live with and understand as it really could impact her job over the long term, and could become an issue in your relationship.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up, put on the monkey suit and perform.

[qcbaker]

Originally Posted by Dadhawk

Sometimes you just have to suck it up, put on the monkey suit and perform.

That's how I feel about doing my job in the first place lol