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Old 02-07-2018, 12:20 PM   #39789
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Been a busy 24 hours for me. Found out yesterday morning that one of my first instructors in Artillery specific courses, and someone I would later go on to work with in the military passed away... At 30. So waking up to that sucked a fat one.

Then, around 1230 last night, I ended up speaking with a friend on the phone for 2 hours, since he said he was going to kill himself because he got a DUI. Now I'm scared shitless because of that phone call.

Isn't it great having people in your life you care about?
Shit. You gotta help him understand how common that is. And in 3-5 years, he won't be reeling from it.

The process on the front end sucks. It's gonna be hard-ish to get around, hard to get insured when he gets it back.

of course, if he's never had one before, he can probably do well with classes and such.

DUI's are strange.
You can, really, quite physically fine and be over the limit. It can quickly move from a slight misjudgment to a horrendous lack of care for others, depending on how drunk and out of it you are.

For the most part, though, a lot of people take a slight risk of incurring a DUI after a couple of drinks. It's a common mistake. Your friend can't beat themselves up over it so bad. I hope you can try to help them understand that.
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Old 02-07-2018, 12:30 PM   #39790
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Yea, these don't have the necessary tech to connect to a cell tower, your iPad does (or at least the one you bought does).

They do make (or at least they did make) a version with LTE/4G capability but it adds about $100US to the price. I also couldn't find a current generation one that had it.
I will just stick to the trusty old iPad then. I just liked the idea of a bigger screen.
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Old 02-07-2018, 01:39 PM   #39791
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Breaker one nine ......

I just returned from dropping off two of the granddaughters at school then I went around around to my daughter and son-in-laws place to feed and water their dozen or so chickens (they are out of town for the week).

Yep, I started off life feeding chickens ....... now I'm feeding chickens in my golden years. ........


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Old 02-07-2018, 01:51 PM   #39792
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Shit that sucks for sure. Not much you can do about the one that's already passed except remember him for what he was and use what you learned from him the best you can. As for your other buddy a DUI definitely isn't worth suicide. Really nothing is logicially, but especially a DUI, I mean it sucks yeah but he can bounce back from that.

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TALK to him though (don't let him go crazy in his own head until he starts talking sense again).

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Yeah, I told him my door (phone line) is always open to him, regardless of what time it is. Unfortunately, of course he just moved out to Alberta in January for a job, then got a DUI in a company vehicle. So no job now.

Dude is feeling like life is bleak as fuck. It physically hurts my heart to think about him feeling like this.

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Shit. You gotta help him understand how common that is. And in 3-5 years, he won't be reeling from it.

The process on the front end sucks. It's gonna be hard-ish to get around, hard to get insured when he gets it back.

of course, if he's never had one before, he can probably do well with classes and such.

DUI's are strange.
You can, really, quite physically fine and be over the limit. It can quickly move from a slight misjudgment to a horrendous lack of care for others, depending on how drunk and out of it you are.

For the most part, though, a lot of people take a slight risk of incurring a DUI after a couple of drinks. It's a common mistake. Your friend can't beat themselves up over it so bad. I hope you can try to help them understand that.
Yep, I told him that is a horrible idea. He has about a year and a bit of shittiness ahead of him, and then it will get exponentially better once that time period is over with.

What actually happened was he drove the truck to a bar, or a party or something, I don't know the exact details of where he was. Anyways, he slept in the truck, cops found him passed out in the driver seat, woke him up, breathalyzed him and charged him. Not even like he was actually operating the vehicle, but care and control laws and such.

I'm urging him to get to an AA meeting, since he legitimately has a problem with alcohol, and to a lesser extent, narcotics. He polishes off five or six 26'ers per week.

The biggest issue though for him is that he told me he hasn't left his apartment for two weeks, so he has no body around for him. I hate to see him beating himself up for what ultimately comes up to a lapse in judgement that cost him SO god damned much. It's crazy to think that he actually did the responsible (well, responsible compared to other outcomes) and he ends up in this situation.
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Old 02-07-2018, 02:08 PM   #39793
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Yeah, I told him my door (phone line) is always open to him,
Yep, suicide ....... a permanent solution to a temporary problem ......

Do you all have a suicide hot line up there ...... if, you may wish to make sure your buddy knows the number.

Ask him if he knows anyone in AA. If so, maybe that person would be willing to pick him up and take him to a meeting.


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Old 02-07-2018, 04:49 PM   #39794
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That sucks about his situation but given the circumstances and the fact he wasn't actually driving he might have better chances when it comes to the trial. Not sure how the laws are regarding DUIs in Canada are though. It's by no means the end. But definitely finding another job in the meantime is key if he's going to get a lawyer anytime soon though.

I'm not sure AA is the answer. It doesn't work for everybody but it doesn't hurt to try. I think having a friend is better but speaking from experience I don't think there was much anybody could've done for me when I was drinking heavily. Hopefully he'll be a bit more chipper in the coming days and shake off the bleakness. We're all down when life hits us but it's the getting back on your feet bit that counts.

@Cole Does he have anybody closer to where he moved?
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Old 02-07-2018, 04:59 PM   #39795
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That sucks about his situation but given the circumstances and the fact he wasn't actually driving he might have better chances when it comes to the trial. Not sure how the laws are regarding DUIs in Canada are though. It's by no means the end. But definitely finding another job in the meantime is key if he's going to get a lawyer anytime soon though.

I'm not sure AA is the answer. It doesn't work for everybody but it doesn't hurt to try. I think having a friend is better but speaking from experience I don't think there was much anybody could've done for me when I was drinking heavily. Hopefully he'll be a bit more chipper in the coming days and shake off the bleakness. We're all down when life hits us but it's the getting back on your feet bit that counts.

@Cole Does he have anybody closer to where he moved?
Not really, just old coworkers
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Old 02-07-2018, 04:59 PM   #39796
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I wonder if it's possible for him to hire an expensive lawyer and somehow get the charge changed into a disorderly conduct or something lesser, by pushing the point that he wasn't driving and was trying to do the right thing by sleeping it off.
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Old 02-07-2018, 05:09 PM   #39797
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I wonder if it's possible for him to hire an expensive lawyer and somehow get the charge changed into a disorderly conduct or something lesser, by pushing the point that he wasn't driving and was trying to do the right thing by sleeping it off.
Not in Ontario he won't. They will not bargain on DD charges.
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Old 02-07-2018, 05:20 PM   #39798
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Not in Ontario he won't. They will not bargain on DD charges.
Good thing it happened in Alberta.

Either way though, @Clipdat, I doubt it matters. Care and control of the vehicle (for example, passed out inside the vehicle with the keys in reach) is what matters in the end.
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Old 02-07-2018, 06:10 PM   #39799
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Yeah, I told him my door (phone line) is always open to him, regardless of what time it is. Unfortunately, of course he just moved out to Alberta in January for a job, then got a DUI in a company vehicle. So no job now.

Dude is feeling like life is bleak as fuck. It physically hurts my heart to think about him feeling like this.



Yep, I told him that is a horrible idea. He has about a year and a bit of shittiness ahead of him, and then it will get exponentially better once that time period is over with.

What actually happened was he drove the truck to a bar, or a party or something, I don't know the exact details of where he was. Anyways, he slept in the truck, cops found him passed out in the driver seat, woke him up, breathalyzed him and charged him. Not even like he was actually operating the vehicle, but care and control laws and such.

I'm urging him to get to an AA meeting, since he legitimately has a problem with alcohol, and to a lesser extent, narcotics. He polishes off five or six 26'ers per week.

The biggest issue though for him is that he told me he hasn't left his apartment for two weeks, so he has no body around for him. I hate to see him beating himself up for what ultimately comes up to a lapse in judgement that cost him SO god damned much. It's crazy to think that he actually did the responsible (well, responsible compared to other outcomes) and he ends up in this situation.
That's such BS if he isn't even driving. I don't care what the actual law says it's just wrong to mess up somebody's whole life when they were actually NOT* driving, hense making the right decision. (Even if they did make the bad decision to drink too much). Was he on private property? Maybe a good lawyer might actually work in this case.

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Old 02-07-2018, 06:19 PM   #39800
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That's such BS if he isn't even driving. I don't care what the actual law says it's just wrong to mess up somebody's whole life when they were actually NOT* driving, hense making the right decision. (Even if they did make the bad decision to drink too much). Was he on private property? Maybe a good lawyer might actually work in this case.
The reason why they have sleeping in the car while drunk in the law I believe is say you were drunk driving but you ended up passed out pulled over on the side with the car still running or crashed and passed out while drunk or any other number of cases similar to that. It allows law enforcement officers to legally arrest and charge suspects with a DUI.

That's the law. But all laws are enforced by an officer and it's up to the officer's discretion really at the end of the day. The officer could have let him go with a warning, put him in a drunk tank for the night, or anything else. It's only a charge so far and not a sentencing. Anything can happen in trial.
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Old 02-07-2018, 06:21 PM   #39801
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That's such BS if he isn't even driving. I don't care what the actual law says it's just wrong to mess up somebody's whole life when they were actually NOT* driving, hense making the right decision. (Even if they did make the bad decision to drink too much). Was he on private property? Maybe a good lawyer might actually work in this case.

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IDK about Canadian law, but in the US it is legal to drink and drive on private property. (given it is your property or you have permission)


It is also legal to sleep in your car. But not with the keys in the ignition. And here is where it gets confusing: If they feel you have intent to drive and are in possession of the keys, they can arrest you. Even if you are just walking to your car. NOT COOL!
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Old 02-07-2018, 06:34 PM   #39802
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Regardless, bad laws hurt everyone.

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