Random Thoughts - Part Deux [NO POLITICS]

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by ichitaka05

Don't worry, we all are shy

I'm not!

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by echo419

headed up to Montreal tomorrow. tips? my French is pretty terrible. haven't spoken more than a few words in over a decade.

I helps that you at least attempt to speak French even if it is horrible. Most can and will switch to English as long as your French attempt doesn't seem condescending or ridiculing.
I have not been to Montreal in several years now but the last time I was there I ran into very few people that were actually born there so the overall air of haughtiness had dropped considerably.

[Ashikabi]

It's been fun guys. Cya

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[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by Ashikabi

It's been fun guys. Cya

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[nikitopo]

Originally Posted by ichitaka05

Yes, it's just grandfather's "wish" & don't have much right to say... but I'm Asian & he's a head of house/family (on my mother side) & if he say so, 99% gotta do it.

I wasn't aware of this detail. Good to know . Try to keep the tradition.

[ichitaka05]

Originally Posted by nikitopo

I wasn't aware of this detail. Good to know . Try to keep the tradition.

Not tradition... just I was raised to respect the head of family and do what he ask to do. There are some impossible things he's asking to do, I'll say "No"... which is very rare. Other than that I have to respect his wish and do what he told me to do, but of course he is asking me (or fam) to do stuff, so he is responsible for budgets and other stuff to make it possible.

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by ichitaka05

Not tradition... just I was raised to respect the head of family and do what he ask to do. There are some impossible things he's asking to do, I'll say "No"... which is very rare. Other than that I have to respect his wish and do what he told me to do, but of course he is asking me (or fam) to do stuff, so he is responsible for budgets and other stuff to make it possible.

I would have done almost anything my maternal Grandfather asked as well. Even more so if he was paying off my car, credit card bills and wedding expenses!

[ichitaka05]

Originally Posted by Tcoat

I would have done almost anything my maternal Grandfather asked as well. Even more so if he was paying off my car, credit card bills and wedding expenses!

He want me to buy a house/townhouse/space to make sure I can get the loan, he paid off all of my debt plus he's assisting with DP as well. So literally, I don't have any excuse nor reason to not follow his wish... just shit load of stuff gotta do in very limited time. Yes, if you think bout it, I'm complaining about very MINOR stuff & should be more grateful.

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by ichitaka05

He want me to buy a house/townhouse/space to make sure I can get the loan, he paid off all of my debt plus he's assisting with DP as well. So literally, I don't have any excuse nor reason to not follow his wish... just shit load of stuff gotta do in very limited time. Yes, if you think bout it, I'm complaining about very MINOR stuff & should be more grateful.

Yep. When you have a lot going on and start running it all through your head it can seem much worse than the reality is.

[p1l0t]

Originally Posted by ichitaka05

He want me to buy a house/townhouse/space to make sure I can get the loan, he paid off all of my debt plus he's assisting with DP as well. So literally, I don't have any excuse nor reason to not follow his wish... just shit load of stuff gotta do in very limited time. Yes, if you think bout it, I'm complaining about very MINOR stuff & should be more grateful.

Yeah it's stressful when you are being pushed but it is in your best interest it seems. I had to save my money and play the stock market to get the money for my DP on my first house. (I mean I lived at home with parents for free and worked full-time at my Dad's shop so I can't act like it had it hard but still yeah be greatful for that). Better than paying rent to someone else, at least you'll keep the equity. It's only a small amount of the payment (at least in the USA) but it does add up overtime.

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[Dadhawk]

Originally Posted by Tcoat

I would have done almost anything my maternal Grandfather asked as well. Even more so if he was paying off my car, credit card bills and wedding expenses!

Same here. "Grandpa" was a gentle giant of a man who survived D-Day as a jumper for the 82nd Airborne.

He was young enough to have been my Father (I'm only 10 years younger than my youngest uncle) and was a calm but serious driving force of the family.

He was taken way too early from this life 20 or so years ago, and I still miss him every day.

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by Dadhawk

Same here. "Grandpa" was a gentle giant of a man who survived D-Day as a jumper for the 82nd Airborne.

He was young enough to have been my Father (I'm only 10 years younger than my youngest uncle) and was a calm but serious driving force of the family.

He was taken way too early from this life 20 or so years ago, and I still miss him every day.

My Grandpa was a Master Mold Maker for casting brass and bronze and as such was declined service in WW2. That haunted him much of his life as he did not feel he fit in with most of his peers from the era. As much as we tried to tell him that his contribution to the war effort greatly exceeded that of the average grunt he was never quite convinced. The sad part was it was ultimately the war that killed him as he passed way in 1974 from a rare condition that they linked directly to his excessive exposure to the casting process during the war years.

[cjd]

Originally Posted by ichitaka05

Thanks everyone. Rant it off last night & went to bed, so feel a lot better. I'll refocus and tackle one at a time... first, work project. Request to fire those 2 staffs or replace those 2 staffs lol

Everyone needs a different approach, but your rant took care of step 1 of the approach I've found really helpful when I find myself overwhelmed.

1. Create a list of the high level things I need to accomplish and share it - it doesn't really need anyone to respond, it just needs to be out there, given a name/formal identity
2. Prioritize the list
3. Break things down for each high level item starting with the lowest priority (that's to force me to finish and give me the longest time to "oh, I forgot to add..." on the items I am most likely to hand off)
4. Identify if any high priority items on lower priority items need extra time out of my control and should perhaps get bumped up the list
5. Get helpers and delegate, or at least have backup. Often I don't actually need more time or help, I just need to know someone will be there for me; the act of not feeling like I have to do it all myself helps with the stress
6. Take a breath and a walk. Pay attention to 3 things that catch my interest and have nothing to do with anything. Wind in the trees or odd reflection off the windows in the building across the street or someone's shoes or... doesn't matter.
7. Start on the list, and do not let myself jump around. Repeat the walks any time I start fretting about something else on the list.

Every morning I check the list to see if I need more help (i.e. something is taking longer than anticipated.)

My grandparents decided they didn't want to attend my wedding, they didn't want to make the trip from Florida. I'm the oldest of their grand-kids, and it was the last time everyone (else) was together... their siblings were so mad they all attended, even the ones fighting some serious stuff (which is why it was the last time they were all together.) It makes me sad to this day. Grandparents and family can be weird. Focus there.

Also, at least you had your bride chosen in advance...

C

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by cjd

Also, at least you had your bride chosen in advance...

C

Now THAT would be some stress!