Random Thoughts - Part III The Search for Spark (No Politics)

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by Captain Snooze

I thought that read funny.
Instead of the Hallmark card it should have a porn scene.

That would be the one where they found out they were step siblings

[spike021]

Originally Posted by Tcoat

It's OK at some point she will get sent to some small town to shut down a factory/get a scoop on a story/sell the inn store or house she inherited and have a run in with some guy that she immediately hates with a passion. So after she will discover that this guy is a Christmas tree farmer/writer/handyman/undercover prince/past romance that is in some way directly involved in her mission. He will be a very handsome and charming widower with a young daughter (never ever a boy) but will start out all angsty about something. Through the process of whatever she needs to do they will suddenly fall in love, she will do the opposite of whatever she was supposed to and abandon the big city and career she worked so hard on. All of these events will of course occur around whatever season it is.

I only have to watch the very occasional one of these when I visit my parents and my mom puts one on the tv and this was as spot-on as I can think of. Ridiculous lol.

[soundman98]

Originally Posted by Teseo

Pump & Dump
Never settle with a woman with another man's child, is like playing a saved game previously. Always start fresh

yeah, that just don't work once one gets older than about 25.

now if we're talking 18 year old women with kids...

Originally Posted by spike021

It probably is just best to let it be .

Honestly her kids are super annoying when she brings them with on walks, but I think that's more of a generational difference than anything.

She hasn't shown herself to be "crazy" in a noticeable way at least yet but yeah that could be hidden under the surface too.

It's definitely tricky. My grandparents had an 8 year gap, and I believe my aunt/uncle were about that much or a little less apart too. So it's not _unusual_ in my family at least.

I think the main thing is just the prior marriage and kids lol.

just gotta read the situation some.

i'm not opposed to someone that was previously married, but it depends on the circumstances. if they divorced because they just got bored with each other, i'm less interested because the chances of it being a long term relationship are less than stellar. i feel everyone is pretty boring, and if she got bored with the last guy, she'll eventually get bored with me as well..

but i'm also watching/learning her relationship with the kids. there's kids that are just simply terrors, and there's poor parenting that makes for kid terrors, which would be more of a red flag for me. or maybe you just don't care for kids being where you are in life, and they're all irritating...

Originally Posted by Tcoat

You are very rapidly approaching an age where there will either be prior marriage and/or kids involved or they are a raging nutcase that everybody dropped. These will be the norm not the exceptions. Now of course there will be sub variations of the two that may be tolerable but only trial and error will tell the whole story.

Don't turn away just because they are divorced or have kids. You may be running from the perfect match. There are no guaranties in life but just listening to the "Stay away bro' crowd could ruin something that could be good.

and like i said-- how well they hide the crazy. we're all crazy, just gotta figure out what flavor they are

[2020BRZtS]

^^ If you are hiding your crazy there's no hope for the rest of us.

[spike021]

Originally Posted by soundman98

yeah, that just don't work once one gets older than about 25.

now if we're talking 18 year old women with kids...

just gotta read the situation some.

i'm not opposed to someone that was previously married, but it depends on the circumstances. if they divorced because they just got bored with each other, i'm less interested because the chances of it being a long term relationship are less than stellar. i feel everyone is pretty boring, and if she got bored with the last guy, she'll eventually get bored with me as well..

but i'm also watching/learning her relationship with the kids. there's kids that are just simply terrors, and there's poor parenting that makes for kid terrors, which would be more of a red flag for me. or maybe you just don't care for kids being where you are in life, and they're all irritating...

and like i said-- how well they hide the crazy. we're all crazy, just gotta figure out what flavor they are

Yeah I don't know the specifics of the divorce. I do know her career, though, and I'll admit I do wonder how much that played into it. It's actually a very ironic one..

It seems like she at least puts effort into the parenting, plus she's basically a single-parent a majority of the time.

[soundman98]

Originally Posted by 2020BRZtS

^^ If you are hiding your crazy there's no hope for the rest of us.

he he.

we've all got experience in something!

crazy comes in all different forms. sometimes it means just trying a different fast food place for date night. sometimes it means anal beads. and sometimes it means lighting your wardrobe on fire out on the front lawn at 3am because you came home late from work and didn't text her.

[Captain Snooze]

Originally Posted by Tcoat

Oh, I read/saw that incorrectly. I said "Hallmark card" above because that's the only thing I knew from selling their greeting cards in my parents' shop.
I didn't realise there was a channel too.

[spike021]

Originally Posted by Captain Snooze

Oh, I read/saw that incorrectly. I said "Hallmark card" above because that's the only thing I knew from selling their greeting cards in my parents' shop.
I didn't realise there was a channel too.

It's a WHOLE thing. I'm assuming the main audience is middle aged ladies (and their families they force to watch with) but wouldn't be surprised if younger ladies are into it too. Basically all chick flick type movies. Usually they marathon them all day.

[x808drifter]

Originally Posted by soundman98

yeah, um...

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by spike021

It's a WHOLE thing. I'm assuming the main audience is middle aged ladies (and their families they force to watch with) but wouldn't be surprised if younger ladies are into it too. Basically all chick flick type movies. Usually they marathon them all day.

I have to sit through a hundred or so of these a year. Same story just changed enough to suit the season. Also the same actors and locations in about 90% of them which get's confusing as hell.

[spcmafia]

Originally Posted by spike021

I find myself in an interesting situation lately. At my apartment complex we usually meet other people with dogs. One of the dogs Haru really gets along with belongs to this slightly older lady (I'd guess maybe 35-40 give or take). So she's 5+ years older than me.

Couple months ago when Haru got neutered we started joking around a lot usually about that procedure and how Haru would be afterward.

Long story short for maybe the last month now we've been flirting a LOT. Or at least it seems that way (I'm always really bad at these types of things). At the time of the neutering and stuff she insisted on giving me her number. So since then we text fairly frequently.

She's divorced and has two kids. One in middle school and one in elementary school I think. I'm not really the type to be interested in someone with kids and/or has been married previously so the situation is really kinda unusual for me.

But the nice thing is she's been a huge change of pace from girls closer to my age (even at ~30) who are completely immature still. We still joke quite a bit, sometimes about relatively sexual things and sometimes just a lot of dog related stuff or personal things. But also have had decent conversations about life, like where we'd want to live if not in this expensive turd of an area. And other interesting topics. This is all either when our dogs play, sometimes for at least an hour, or via texts.

I'm kinda wrestling with what I should do lol.

I agree with what tcoat suggested. I'm in my late 20s going into 30 in a few months. I want to say that about 80%+ of all the friends I have my age have either gotten married/divorced and have had a kid.

Now, lets look at this in another way.


She may be very pretty, nice, lovely, hot, and everything after that. But remember that no matter how gorgeous a woman is, somewhere out there is a man out there tired of her shit. Or, she could genuinely be amazing.


The bottom line is to you HAVE TO get to know her. Go on multiple dates, if it gets to that point. Most people with kids want a steady, formal relationship. Keep it casual with the kids and if they like you, and you like them, you can form a good bond, just know that even if its not mentioned, you are sort of expected to fill that missing role. If you don't feel comfortable with that and want to keep things just between you and her, that is also something that can be talked about. There has to be comfort between the two sides.



Most important thing, you make sure she genuinely enjoys being part or do the things that you like to do. Or she respects your alone time.



I'm saying this not pulling out of my backside, I know because my dad, is actually my adoptive dad, and I have 100% confidence of calling him my dad. So I know how things can get. Remember that this is your life and you are in control of it, if you want to back out, it is completely your choice and one that you are absolutely right to take. If the case is that you are somewhat lonely, do not settle for the first person that shows up, people can hide their true-selves for months, that's why getting to know someone for at least 6+ months is essential. Get to see good, bad, worse, and best.

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by spike021

I find myself in an interesting situation lately.

I'm kinda wrestling with what I should do lol.

Well, I'm late to this counseling session.

My thoughts are that if the relationship is "right", you will know it.

If you have to ask, the relationship is not usually "right".

[spike021]

Originally Posted by Tcoat

I have to sit through a hundred or so of these a year. Same story just changed enough to suit the season. Also the same actors and locations in about 90% of them which get's confusing as hell.

It's kinda funny sometimes watching my mom go through the ones she's saved to the dvr. Some of them have very similar names and are part of the same series and some of them have similar names but are not, or have same actors, or same location like you said.

[Tcoat]

Originally Posted by spike021

It's kinda funny sometimes watching my mom go through the ones she's saved to the dvr. Some of them have very similar names and are part of the same series and some of them have similar names but are not, or have same actors, or same location like you said.

They pump out between 20 and 50 of those things a year. I think they are made in a couple of weeks to a month with almost no budget at all. Many of them are filmed in Canada because they can get huge tax breaks. Over the years we have stumbled across at least three being filmed around here.

EDIT: Yep up to a $2million budget normally. And not only filmed in Canada but most of the actors seem to be Canadian as well and that's why they keep popping up.
https://www.oopsmoney.ca/the-busines...0tax%20credits.