My BMW Interlude

[QHawk]

I’ve now owned two 86s, actually one FR-S and a new 2020 86GT, but a BMW 228i interrupts this sequence with its abbreviated, six month stay in our garage. What explains that car’s presence my scary-long chronology of car ownership?

Like my first car, the BMW was white, but that’s about it for similarities. That first car was a 1966 Plymouth Barracuda, the ‘60s car with the huge, curved back window. And it was new when it became mine. Dense ingrate that I was, I didn’t appreciate at the time how privileged I was to have transportation like that. I attended high school in a different town and needed transportation, and one Saturday morning my father pushed a newspaper ad in front of me and said something like, “What about this?” What about this? I was a teenage boy who, at 14, had subscribed to Car and Driver, and in my eyes the roads looked cluttered with GTOs and 442s and even the somewhat girlish (i.e., pre-Bullitt) Mustang. I still have that newspaper ad and today wish I could ask my father what led him to that particular offer, and thank him properly for it (and much else), but amazingly, my parents actually equipped their hormone-saturated adolescent male progeny with a car named “Barracuda.”

By today’s standards, the Barracuda would hardly compete in most ways with any car of its type, but it definitely offers lots of opportunities for nostalgic reminiscence about what it did offer back then. Those benefits were mostly social. A car meant freedom, and because my high school friends lived nowhere nearby, transportation gave me access to them, and I made good use of that opportunity. I’ll also add, as a properly discreet husband and father, that the car was a hit with the non-male segment of my acquaintances. It supplied as well one noteworthy memory of a late night run south of Hartford when I discovered, with exuberant foolishness, that the broken highway lines do blur at 90 miles an hour.

In 1971, the ‘66 was replaced by a ‘71 Barracuda, of the generation you see in the Fast & Furious & Ludicrous franchise. Even with the smaller V8, at the tailpipe it still idled like a murmuring heavyweight. But that car was followed by a different life--marriage, children, and decades of a series of cars that were practical. (I pause here, as you might, and sigh knowingly at the sometimes dispiriting implications of ”practical” when talking about cars.) Toothache memories include a ‘78 Buick Century, with wheel covers that knew their own mind and regularly hopped off the car, clanging goodbye as they spun away into the woods. In that era, our engine replacement at 30,000 miles constituted a maintenance item. General Motors knew what it was selling. Its new car warrantee in 1978: 12 months or 10,000 miles. Finally, an ‘85 Chevy Celebrity made me declare U.S. car makers hopeless and led to our first Toyota in 1990, and it’s been Toyotas for us ever since.

With that one BMW exception. I’m getting to that.

But the new life I referred to eventually evolved into a life with grown children and no mortgage payments and an opportunity that surprised when I suddenly recognized it. I could shop for a car for myself. Lots of reading and looking, and lots of parking lot questions for strangers about their cars--all of it led to the FR-S as a possibility, and a Toyota product at that. As it turned out, destiny worked some magic, and the right car at the right price soon turned up in my daily perusal of web ads: a silver 2013 FR-S, 24,000 miles, in stunningly good condition.

I drove that car for more than three years and had never found a more invigorating road experience. Everyone reading these words on this site knows why. The term road hugging was invented for a car like the FR-S, and that’s what I had set out to drive.

When I bought it, I sent my son this email: Stiff suspension, road noise, and amazing handling. Mum will hate it. She didn’t exactly hate it. She did ride in it, once. The ride, diplomatically termed “firm,” at highway speed meant crossing expansion joints and feeling them in my teeth. I don’t blame any passenger for lack of enthusiasm. It’s a driver’s car, and passengers don't drive, but I looked for errands to run, excuses to drive.

So what happened? That valve spring recall happened. I detailed my experience here. Once the entire affair was settled, the car ran well, and I had no reason at all to doubt its reliability. But every time I turned the key, I found myself listening for an extra second, alert for any hint of the bearing rattle that had signaled big trouble under the hood. I also had grown tired of the Spartan aspect of the FR-S. It was no frills, but a noisy no frills, and even our other car, a standard-issue Camry, had convenience features that no early FR-S could expect.

And here I finally arrive at the BMW. Lots of reading, looking, etc., etc., and eventually I focused on the 228i, and once again, destiny stepped in and pointed, although this time maybe with a smirk. It, this time, was a 2016 228i xDrive, at 27,000 miles and in excellent condition. Convenience features. Yes. Anyone who considers heated seats a frivolous luxury has never lived through a New England winter while driving a car with heated seats. And that complaint about inadequate FR-S power? If you complain about a BMW, you probably don’t complain about anything like that. Highway entrance ramps regularly offer the chance to see why.

If postings here are any sign, the FR-S sound tube prompted heavy attention back when these cars were new, but BMW doesn't make do with noise siphoned from the engine. They call it Active Sound Design, and it’s the product of hardware in the trunk that pipes fake engine noise through the sound system. It actually sounds believable, the throaty growl of a prodded beast. One part of me enjoyed hearing it. But another part of me said, Don’t listen to that guy. Consider what you’d think of someone who enjoys fake engine noise.

The ASD feature can be customized or disabled with BimmerCode, a phone app that makes Carista look like the kid brother. Adjust each of the BMW’s three levels of seat heating temperatures. Maybe change the warning thresholds for the two low-fuel warnings, or mess with esoteric engine configuration. Adjusting many settings requires some facility with German to find what you’re looking for, but in some areas, BimmerCode offers Techstream-level opportunities to screw up your sweet ride.

But somehow, this car would never be truly mine. The car seemed designed for professional tending, the expensive kind paid for by people who call a plumber when the faucet drips. Lots of BMW owners aren't like that, but the cars are like that, or seemed that way to me. Run flat tires might be patchable, or might not be, depending on whose experience you hear about. Battery replacement means registering the new battery with the ECU if you have the right app, and dealer intervention if you don't. Routine maintenance includes brake fluid change every two years and similar patrician demands. Do-it-yourself is a sometimes a possibility, but BMW doesn’t build for that crowd. It builds for owners who’ll pay a dealer $125+ for an oil change and filter.

So I accepted the inevitable. I can say nothing bad about the BMW. It just wasn’t the car I wanted to drive. That car now sits in our garage, and it’s white, like its distant Plymouth ancestor and its BMW predecessor. When I drove this 86 home from the dealer and fussed with adjusting the seat, I realized that I had forgotten the cockpit feel behind the wheel. Or maybe the living room leather seating of the BMW contrasted with it starkly enough to make me notice it, appreciate it, for the first time.


And now I’m pretty sure I have errands to run, with heated seats.

[Vracer111]

That was a nice read... really enjoyed it. And it took this section of the forum to OVER 9000 threads! LOL

[humfrz]

WOW! That was long, but well written -

GAD! You must be old!

My first NEW car was a 1966 Plymouth valiant signet, slant 6 and all that (like shown).

Where in CT did you live?


humfrz

[QHawk]

GAD! You must be old!

Only some days.

My first NEW car was a 1966 Plymouth valiant signet, slant 6 and all that (like shown).

The Barracuda was built on the Valiant frame. There were similarities, but at the time, I firmly denied that.

Where in CT did you live?

Just north of Hartford in a town that appears little changed today. To me, that's a good thing because it was a good place to grow up. I now live a hundred miles away, but occasionally I've made a pass through town. The people aren't familiar, but the place certainly is.

[QHawk]

I can add this historic item. The dealership is long gone, as are the four-digit new car prices.

[p1l0t]

I never left CT... but I do love my Hyperblue 86.

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[humfrz]

Originally Posted by QHawk

Only some days.


The Barracuda was built on the Valiant frame. There were similarities, but at the time, I firmly denied that.

Yep, I have spirts of not feeling old .... but they don't last long -

Well, of course, most young men would rather have a car named "Barracuda" rather that "Valiant". -

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by p1l0t

I never left CT... but I do love my Hyperblue 86.

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What the hell does any of that have to do with anything in this thread?

(oh, I just realized it's past ma nap time - )

[p1l0t]

Originally Posted by humfrz

What the hell does any of that have to do with anything in this thread?



(oh, I just realized it's past ma nap time - )

He's from a place 10 minutes away from I live. If you actually read that whole story lol.

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[humfrz]

Originally Posted by p1l0t

He's from a place 10 minutes away from I live. If you actually read that whole story lol.

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Read what? "I ain't got time for dat"

Who are you and why are you laughing at me?

[p1l0t]

Originally Posted by humfrz

Read what? "I ain't got time for dat"



Who are you and why are you laughing at me?

I'm p1l0t, and I'm not laughing at you (too much) actually I'm surprised I read it all myself just good timing when I saw the post I guess.

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[humfrz]

Originally Posted by p1l0t

I'm p1l0t, and I'm not laughing at you (too much) actually I'm surprised I read it all myself just good timing when I saw the post I guess.

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Oh, as soon as that post matures into my long term memory, I'm sure I'll recognize you -

[JD001]

Originally Posted by QHawk

I can add this historic item. The dealership is long gone, as are the four-digit new car prices.

I noted that "padded visor" is a big marketing hook. I can't remember if we have them on our Twins..

[JD001]

I wonder if on a BMW forum they are reading a similar thread "My FRS interlude' and they have welcomed it as warmly as here?