"Not Always Right" Customer Stories?

[kalamitykode]

Anyone have any funny stories about customers who say or do retarded things? I work for a cable company in the online chat department. I don't have any stories saved right now cause I've been doing special projects for a few weeks, but I'd be glad to share some with you once I get them if you guys are interested lol. We get some crazy people..

[FRSNewb]

I do roadside assistance for alot of the major insurance companies and automotive companies (including Scion/Subaru/Toyota) for Americans, I could write a book on the stupidity I encounter on a daily basis from people........

[stugray]

I work in Aerospace and I got a giggle when I heard a customer ask:
"So do you have a list of all of the unknowns?".

My first thought was "we'll get right on that, but we dont know when...."

This explains a bit better:
[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiPe1OiKQuk"]Donald Rumsfeld Unknown Unknowns ! - YouTube[/ame]

[anewprelusion]

I work at a bank, and am constantly getting questions like...

"What do you mean I need to show my ID to withdrawal $5000?"

Or

"What do you mean I can't deposit this $10,000 check payable to someone else into my account?"

[dem00n]

[suaveflooder]

I worked in a restaurant for YEARS. I have tons of stories like this.

(1) Lady was PISSED that we wouldn't turn the heaters off during lunch. It finally got to the point that she flagged down our GM and let him know she had now asked three people to turn the heater off and it was still on. He went to investigate. When he returned to the table and he apologized. He informed her, however, that all of the heaters were off and it was in fact the sun she was feeling

(2) So, the restaurant I worked at was on the water overlooking Downtown San Diego. For those who don't know, San Diego is a big military town. Both Costguard and the NAVY SEALS practice in the bay in front of the restaurant. One day when the Coastgard was doing some helocopter drills I noticed my table getting a little snappy with me because they couldn't hear me. One of the ladies looked up at the helocopter and asked, "would you please tell them to stop?!" She was dead serious.

(3) This one is short. I walked up to the table to ask them how everything was. They lady looked disgusted and asked me to take back the quesadilla because the menue didn't say that it had cheese on it.

[FRSNewb]

Just had a lady ask us to send a satellite signal to her dead car (dead battery) to start the vehicle...smh...

[n2oinferno]

TONS of them. Here's one that stands out.

When I worked tech bench we had a guy come in, wanted his computer cleaned up because it had malware on it. We told him we can clean it all, X cost, we'll have it for Y days. Or we can back all of his documents up, format it, it'll cost about the same and we'll have it back to him tomorrow. He takes the second option, we do the work, format the box, and he comes and picks it up the next day.
A day later the man carries the computer into the store, pissed because "we didn't do our jobs and he paid to have it cleaned." Well, we formatted that thing. It was factory-fresh when it left our bench. So we boot it up and sure enough, infected with immediate symptoms. We tell the guy sorry, we'll call him shortly. The boss comes over, asks us what's up, and we show him the logs on the computer and browser cache. He then calls the guy and says he needs to come down to discuss his machine.
The guy shows back up, is mad we haven't fixed it for him already, and my boss kindly explains (on the sales floor loud enough that everyone can hear) that we did the work, we formatted it so there's no way it could've not been cleaned up, but if someone keeps going to shady porn sites that result in this malware there's no way we can keep it clean for him. And of course, guy gets all "IT WASN'T ME, YOU GUYS DIDN'T CLEAN IT, I'M A PASTOR! etc.." So my manager gets a bit ticked at that point, goes over to the computer, opens the history, and says "Well last night at 11PM SOMEONE was looking at ANAL PORN. IT'S RIGHT HERE!" I was laughing too hard and had to run into the break room, so I didn't see how it ended.

[koteman]

I work at a tires plus and a lady yesterday told me she put some oil in her powersteering fluid and then she put some water in it to clean it out. She asked me to check if someone else had fixed it for her so I checked and it was a mix of oil and water and I said we would have to flush out the whole system for 60$ with a machine and she said that was to much and asked where a self service car wash was so she could use a pressure washer to clean it herself. I probably have a new story every day. People are idiots.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

[Giccin]

Originally Posted by n2oinferno

TONS of them. Here's one that stands out.

When I worked tech bench we had a guy come in, wanted his computer cleaned up because it had malware on it. We told him we can clean it all, X cost, we'll have it for Y days. Or we can back all of his documents up, format it, it'll cost about the same and we'll have it back to him tomorrow. He takes the second option, we do the work, format the box, and he comes and picks it up the next day.
A day later the man carries the computer into the store, pissed because "we didn't do our jobs and he paid to have it cleaned." Well, we formatted that thing. It was factory-fresh when it left our bench. So we boot it up and sure enough, infected with immediate symptoms. We tell the guy sorry, we'll call him shortly. The boss comes over, asks us what's up, and we show him the logs on the computer and browser cache. He then calls the guy and says he needs to come down to discuss his machine.
The guy shows back up, is mad we haven't fixed it for him already, and my boss kindly explains (on the sales floor loud enough that everyone can hear) that we did the work, we formatted it so there's no way it could've not been cleaned up, but if someone keeps going to shady porn sites that result in this malware there's no way we can keep it clean for him. And of course, guy gets all "IT WASN'T ME, YOU GUYS DIDN'T CLEAN IT, I'M A PASTOR! etc.." So my manager gets a bit ticked at that point, goes over to the computer, opens the history, and says "Well last night at 11PM SOMEONE was looking at ANAL PORN. IT'S RIGHT HERE!" I was laughing too hard and had to run into the break room, so I didn't see how it ended.

LOOOL.

Its the same thing that happened with my dad. He had 11,000+ of different types of computer infections and he YELLS at me for not fully cleaning his computer. Run all of the cleaning stuff I have and all the virus/malware had been removed. I had also cleared all of his cookies and cache. 6 days later he comes and yells at me saying his computer is acting up all again. I take it back and run all the same stuff but this time I looked at the history.

Porn on porn on porn on porn. Home boy visited over 40 different sites and downloaded a shitload of other useless crap.

I then asked him what he does on his computer and this is what he tells me "I ONLY USE YAHOO, LISTEN TO MUSIC AND READ THE NEWS!"

I pulled up the history and opened all the sites he had went to along with the time. Rofl

He was pretty pissed.

[Turbo95eg6]

^ I'd be pretty bummed to see what kind of porn my dad was into.

[Kiske]

I had a form/waiver made up specificlly for my shop. In which if the customer wants something done that isn't correct, up to our standards, won't last, or is dangerous completed by us.

My boss hated this an chewed my ass out until it came up, post job completion. A customer wanted his POS 80's firebird repainted, over the rust and his 'bodywork.' About 2weeks later after the paint bubbled through he raised hell, called the BBB, fox 4 problem solvers and any news station that would listen. We had them show up on our door monday, explained the situation showed them before and after pictures and finally I brought out the scanned copy of my 'dumbass waiver' (as I call it.)

I get so many wanting cheap, cheap, now fixes and usually when I bring out the form and explain it to them, they disappear.

[kalamitykode]

[17:59:48] Me: There are no requirements. We charge the first month in advance plus an installation fee, and a possible deposit depending on your credit.
[18:01:48] Customer: when you say charge the first month in advance that means for example If I were to want to purchase July 1st I would be required to pay both July and August up front?
[18:02:09] Me: No, all you have to pay up front is the first month of service. You wouldn't have to pay two months.


Simple concept...

[kalamitykode]

[16:53:00] Me: Hello! Thank you for choosing [company name] Online Support. My name is Marc and I would be happy to assist you. What services are you interested in setting up with us today?
[16:53:24] Customer: MY NAME IS FREDERICK