Joke Thread - Page 2 - Toyota GR86, 86, FR-S and Subaru BRZ Forum & Owners Community

RRnold · 07-20-2010, 09:37 PM

My fav!

What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball.... Juan on Juan!

Abflug · 07-21-2010, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie Normous

Bump

Boy asks, "Grandma have you seen my pills? Their marked LSD"
Grandma Replies "Fuck the pills. Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen!"

Boy tells dad, "There is a kid at school that keeps calling me a ***."
Dad says "Punch him in the face!"
Boy says "But hes so cute!"

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many would be left?" "None" replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well the answer is four," said the teacher "but i like the way your thinking." Little Johnny said "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, One licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone. Which one is married?" "Well" said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking her cone?" "No" Said little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but i like the way your thinking."

...Dont even get me started on dead baby jokes.

DanZilla · 07-25-2010, 12:30 PM

^^ thought ice cream cone joke was hilarious

Midship Runabout · 10-01-2010, 02:07 PM

So I was doing this chick in the butt they other day, and she turns around and looks at me and say "this is degrading." I was like, "Degrading?!? Thats a big word for a 9 year old!"....

Siriusly.Andrew · 10-01-2010, 02:08 PM

you're posting from prison yeah?

kidding :P

Ricepuddin · 10-16-2010, 06:28 PM

Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
A: Because they think we care

An Army compound is over ran by an enemy force. The OPFOR commander tells one of his officers bring him 2 enlisted and 2 officers to be executed. They bring him a Gen. a LT. Command Sargent Major, and a Private.
The commander turns to the group and says "You will be executed, but i will grant you one request before hand"
First the General, " I want to address my men one last time"
The LT, " I want a steak dinner"
The CSM " I would like to shake the hands of my men one final time"
The Private " I want you to shoot me before the General starts talking"

Midship Runabout · 10-16-2010, 07:11 PM

^ first one made me laugh.

Midship Runabout · 10-16-2010, 07:17 PM

Whats the difference between an apple and a baby????

You dont fuck an apple before you eat it....

Midship Runabout · 05-12-2011, 03:42 PM

So I went into the pharmacy the other day,
"Can I have two packs of condoms please?"
"Sure. Would you like a bag?"
"No thank you. She's not ugly."

rock_box · 05-12-2011, 05:04 PM

So this woman goes to an exclusive bar at the top of a high-rise building. She walks in the door and sees this really good looking guy at the bar drinking, so she walks up and asks "What are you drinking?" He replies, "Magic beer." She gives him a crazy look and goes to a table and starts drinking fruity cocktails. After a few she is kind of tipsy and goes back to talk to the cute guy at the bar. She says "So what do these magic beers do?" He replies "They make you able to fly." As she's about to brush him off again he finishes his magic beer and says "Watch I'll demonstrate." The guy then opens a window jumps out and flies around the building a few times. When he sits back down at the bar she orders a round of magic beers for them both. After a few rounds she gets up some courage, opens the window, and...

falls to her death. The bar-tender looks at the guy and says "Superman, you're an asshole when you're drunk."

nickkhun23 · 05-13-2011, 03:25 AM

I'm new in here, Hope to enjoy this forum.

WhiteKnight · 05-25-2011, 09:46 AM

This seemed funny

Snaps · 05-25-2011, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midship Runabout

Whats the difference between an apple and a baby????

You dont fuck an apple before you eat it....

Wut?

What do you call a cow with 2 legs on one side?

...Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?

...Ground Beef

WhiteKnight · 07-09-2011, 12:44 AM

What do u call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

Why can't a ghost make babies?

Because they have hollow weenies.

Mickey and Minnie are @ divorce court and the judge asks Mickey, "So Mickey let me get this straight you want to divorce Minnie because she's crazy. Mickey responds, "No your honor you're not understanding me I want to divorced her because she's fucking Goofy.

07-20-2010, 09:37 PM	#15
RRnold 2 wheel member Join Date: Feb 2010 Drives: JZA80, 997.1, Taco Location: SoCal->NorCal Posts: 4,330 Thanks: 1,318 Thanked 938 Times in 480 Posts Mentioned: 9 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	My fav! What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball.... Juan on Juan! __________________

07-25-2010, 12:30 PM	#17
DanZilla Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Drives: 05 New Formula Red Honda S2000 Location: Georgetown, DC Posts: 274 Thanks: 0 Thanked 14 Times in 14 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	^^ thought ice cream cone joke was hilarious __________________

10-16-2010, 06:28 PM	#20
Ricepuddin Get a Bowl Join Date: Oct 2009 Drives: 2017 BRZ PP Location: Honolulu HI Posts: 939 Thanks: 108 Thanked 383 Times in 221 Posts Mentioned: 5 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	Q: Why do women fake orgasms? A: Because they think we care An Army compound is over ran by an enemy force. The OPFOR commander tells one of his officers bring him 2 enlisted and 2 officers to be executed. They bring him a Gen. a LT. Command Sargent Major, and a Private. The commander turns to the group and says "You will be executed, but i will grant you one request before hand" First the General, " I want to address my men one last time" The LT, " I want a steak dinner" The CSM " I would like to shake the hands of my men one final time" The Private " I want you to shoot me before the General starts talking" Last edited by Ricepuddin; 10-18-2010 at 12:51 PM. Reason: spelling > me

10-16-2010, 07:11 PM	#21
Midship Runabout formerly Dixie Normous Join Date: Jan 2010 Drives: The ladies wild! Location: ())_)CRAYOLA)_))> Posts: 996 Thanks: 1 Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	^ first one made me laugh. __________________

10-16-2010, 07:17 PM	#22
Midship Runabout formerly Dixie Normous Join Date: Jan 2010 Drives: The ladies wild! Location: ())_)CRAYOLA)_))> Posts: 996 Thanks: 1 Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	Whats the difference between an apple and a baby???? You dont fuck an apple before you eat it.... __________________

10-01-2010, 02:07 PM	#18
Midship Runabout formerly Dixie Normous Join Date: Jan 2010 Drives: The ladies wild! Location: ())_)CRAYOLA)_))> Posts: 996 Thanks: 1 Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	So I was doing this chick in the butt they other day, and she turns around and looks at me and say "this is degrading." I was like, "Degrading?!? Thats a big word for a 9 year old!"....

05-12-2011, 03:42 PM	#23
Midship Runabout formerly Dixie Normous Join Date: Jan 2010 Drives: The ladies wild! Location: ())_)CRAYOLA)_))> Posts: 996 Thanks: 1 Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	So I went into the pharmacy the other day, "Can I have two packs of condoms please?" "Sure. Would you like a bag?" "No thank you. She's not ugly." __________________

05-12-2011, 05:04 PM	#24
rock_box Jedi Ninja Join Date: May 2011 Drives: 2006 xB & 2001 Eclipse Location: Mobile, Al area Posts: 8 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	So this woman goes to an exclusive bar at the top of a high-rise building. She walks in the door and sees this really good looking guy at the bar drinking, so she walks up and asks "What are you drinking?" He replies, "Magic beer." She gives him a crazy look and goes to a table and starts drinking fruity cocktails. After a few she is kind of tipsy and goes back to talk to the cute guy at the bar. She says "So what do these magic beers do?" He replies "They make you able to fly." As she's about to brush him off again he finishes his magic beer and says "Watch I'll demonstrate." The guy then opens a window jumps out and flies around the building a few times. When he sits back down at the bar she orders a round of magic beers for them both. After a few rounds she gets up some courage, opens the window, and... falls to her death. The bar-tender looks at the guy and says "Superman, you're an asshole when you're drunk."

05-13-2011, 03:25 AM	#25
nickkhun23 Junior Member Join Date: May 2011 Drives: BMW Location: USA Posts: 1 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	I'm new in here, Hope to enjoy this forum. __________________ Watch Bridesmaids Online Free

05-25-2011, 09:46 AM	#26
WhiteKnight Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Drives: 2006 NB tC Location: MIA Posts: 89 Thanks: 2 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	This seemed funny Attached Images

07-09-2011, 12:44 AM	#28
WhiteKnight Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Drives: 2006 NB tC Location: MIA Posts: 89 Thanks: 2 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Tagged: 0 Thread(s)	What do u call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. Why can't a ghost make babies? Because they have hollow weenies. Mickey and Minnie are @ divorce court and the judge asks Mickey, "So Mickey let me get this straight you want to divorce Minnie because she's crazy. Mickey responds, "No your honor you're not understanding me I want to divorced her because she's fucking Goofy.

User Name		Remember Me?
Password