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Go to the store without the wife and do a test fit to see how well a REAR FACING car seat will fit in the car (after having the seats adjusted to you and your wifes seating positions. Then when it fits just fine take the wife to the store and show her it's ok, don't give up. I had a 1999.5 2 door GTi when we had our son and we were fine. Remember, you have a bit of time to figure it out. Also, it seems that the best idea is to sell the 4x4 and the body kit and buy a used car (wagon of some sort? WRX, Corolla, VW, Audi...) Hope it all works out for you, if not Whiteout is the color I want as well....
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