Whelp, it finally happened. My wife's car's transmission has been acting funny for the last two years and today it finally threw codes.
P0700: Transmission Control System
P2714: Pressure Control Solenoid D Performance or Stuck Off
P0781: 1-2 Shift
P0762: Shift Solenoid C Stuck On
Now we see if this lifetime drivetrain warranty is worth anything.