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nvm i got it.
if anyone else finds this:
I loosened all the header - engine nuts i had previously fastened. Then i started screaming and wiggling the header. Then i got a wrench and tried to pry the overpipe downwards while also pushing the header-overpipe connection upwards (in the same pry motion). It eventually fell into place.
it is physically possible, everyone else just glosses over it, get it done you stupid baby
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