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I would ask her if it's even important to her to like the car. Cars in my family are very different for each driver and every one is suited to the primary driver. i agree she shouldn't resent you for making the car what you want it to be but at the same time there's probably a handful of things she does that you are not consulted on and you don't even notice or care.
My wife drove the BRZ exactly once. She said it wasn't for her and moved on.
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