From owning my FRS for 4 years, I feel like the paint is very thin and is pretty easy to damage. However, I do wash my car every week to keep it shiny and smooth. I think that with the right products and regular car care, you should have no issues keeping the paint feeling nice and smooth.
I'm not sure why it's not working out for you though.. sounds like you're doing everything right. I'm in SoCal too, not too far from you (Ontario). Here is what my paint looks like after 82k miles, with no polishing done in the last 3 years, just some regular washes, a lot of waterless care washes, and regular wax applications. Always feels silky smooth to the touch.
-Sam
