https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Rhonda...gateway&sr=8-3
Life is what we make of it, we're magnets and attract energy, good or bad, that is the law of attraction.
I wish I read this book sooner, like around your age, I highly recommend it.
Also, Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem bro, don't do it, life'll get better, Trust me
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Do wanna add, that I feel for ya bro, I do. Just trust me, once you get the hang of it and see it working for you, your life'll change, even if the small stuff manifests first.
I only linked the book because trust me, while I heard it about the law of attraction before, I didn't realize how it worked until I wrote a journal entry and noticed all the little things add up, so start small when ya practice it. You'll thank me later once ya take a look
Also, DON'T say to the universe, "I don't want" or anything of the negative sorts (Like Not/Don't/Can't/etc), universe doesn't hear that, so if you say, "I don't want X/Y/Z", it hears it as "I
WANT X/Y/Z"