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Hey man, a support system is the best thing you can have. In all too familiar with suicide. And if it wasn't for my best friend and his family I wouldn't be here today. I remember while I was in the Army, things went to shit. I had a slew of injuries that basically ruined a dream of serving my country. I had toxic ass leadership and no one to go to. The Chaplin was great but didn't do much for me. I remember seeing no way out. I had auditory hallucinations, nightmares, and severe depression and anxiety. After months of dealing with it, I found myself laying in bed texting my best friend telling him I was sorry. Then proceeded to make it for the stairs to leap off the top of my barracks. It sounded quick and painless. Thankfully his mom called my battalion command and someone stopped me before I could get out of my room. I'll never forget how I felt. I was embarrassed, angry, frightened, and disappointed in myself for letting down my fellow troops and family and friends. I got help from a counselor and proper therapy before being discharged. It still haunts me sometimes tbh. But I realized it's not the way. There's always someone to help you. Every now and then when I feel down, by buddy is the go to. It's hard but something as simple as venting can do a lot of good.
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