[MuseChaser]

My father raised me to be very self-reliant, and I became that... to a fault. Now throughout most of my adult life, he's been telling me, "Don't be stupid... everybody needs help sometimes. When you need help, GET HELP!"


There is NO shame, nor weakness, in getting help when you need it. Get some help. Use those numbers Jsimon posted. Talk to folks who are positive influences on your life that you can actually see and hear in real life. Reach out to whomever you feel you've made some connections with and who have been positive and helpful to you here, if you wish... share contact info via PM.

Given how down you sounded, it might not be wise to just gloss over this. Talk to some folks to help make sure you don't get to that point, or worse, again.