Story time, mostly happy ending:
I was changing over from my summer tires to all seasons (read: "winter set"), got done, and was about to close the garage door and call it a night. Decided at the last second to go for a quick spin to compare performance between sets just because (read:

). Closed the garage door, and as I was backing out of my driveway I heard a loud thud/pop. Was like WTF did i hit something. Did a once around and didn't see anything wrong, must be someone else making noise somewhere. Did my drive with expected results confirmed and got back to my driveway. And the garage wouldn't open. Turns out the sound I heard was one of my garage door cables snapping and flying through the space my car and I were 30 seconds before. Moral of the story, hooning your car saves lives.
Lessons learned:
1. INSPECT YOUR GARAGE DOOR CABLES.
2. Sudden urges to go drive are to be followed at all times.
The end.