I'm sorry to hear about your marriage. It sucks when your significant other does things like that. Here's what you need is some
Athol Kay &
Rollo Tomassi.
Read "What is the Red Pill?" on Athol Kay. He talks about the fundamentals of having a happy & sexually engaging marriage.
Rollo Tomassi has the philosophical view points on those fundamentals and why they seem to work.
And here's a story of
Dave who turned his marriage around.
Open your mind and forget everything that you've been taught about women, seriously. Look through the lens of men who've been through what you've have been through and have found answers to those age-old questions on women. And after you read all these you'll go through the 4 phases:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. F**K it go own way
4. Acceptance - It is here where your relationship with women (friends, family, etc) will benefit greatly because you'll have a better understanding of women & inter-gender dynamics.
That or
“You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” – Morpheus
To your question, I would never get back with a women who has cheated on me wife or other wise unless there are children involved but that doesn't sound like the case here. Good luck.