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I have to say as a European, all this talk of rev matching, wearing your engine out, wearing your clutch out, etc. is amusing but somewhat curious. Here, the vast majority of drivers are taught to drive a manual ("stick"). And no driving instructor in history has ever concerned themselves with those things. So I wonder whether a lot of the worries about downshifting are the result of a culture where over 90% of cars sold are now automatic. Just my thoughts.
In any case, rolling in neutral is a no-no. As others have said, engine braking helps to slow your car in a controlled manner and leaves you ready to accelerate again should you need to - be that because the traffic light has turned green or because of some emergency. You inevitably need to downshift whilst braking, and it depends on what gear you're starting from. For example, braking from 40mph in 5th gear, I'd typically downshift directly to 3rd when the revs are low enough, then either 2nd if I can pull away without stopping, or using the clutch as the car slows to nearer a stop.
You should have a feel for what gear you should be using at a particular speed whilst accelerating during day-to-day driving, and it shouldn't be far different whilst decelerating - on the basis that if you want/need to accelerate, you'll be in the right gear.
It's not rocket science, and for the majority of drivers it really shouldn't be something that you worry about.
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