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Originally Posted by steeloyangster
OMG, THIS! I think it's the conditioning from him through my whole life that makes me not want to interact with him. Everytime he opens his mouth it's either criticising or something negative. When I receive a text or phone call from him I discount it until I am in the right state of mind to take it. My mother's always been the affectionate and sympathetic one who I would approach about nearly anything. My father was the one to avoid. I'm not trying to villainize him but when someone conditions you to expect certain things then those expectations can't be changed so easily.
Wow, I didn't know participating in an online forum about cars could also provide therapy. Being able to quantify that makes me feel much more at ease of why it feels so difficult to be around him or to engage with him.
Fooking Asians.
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It is heartening to see that not only were you able to sort out your original concern but also were able to bond better with your dad.
For some strange reason, dads were supposed to be harsh, stern, non-sentimental and what not. And moms the polar opposite. In my case, my dad was somewhere in the middle and was pretty approachable. We do have our share of fun. But you can't expect him to show a physical display of affection like a hug. Now when I see him play with my infant daughter, making weird noises and laughing and giggling I feel I am seeing a new dimension of him
!