I don't usually do this, but it's slow at work, so what the heck:
I was waiting at a light yesterday on the way home. An old Honda Prelude is kissing my ass but I think nothing of it, probably just needs new brake pads.
Light turns green, I start driving off--apparently too slow--as I see this guy behind me throwing his hands up and yelling at his steering wheel.
He cuts into the next lane, obviously pissing off the people in that lane as it is just before rush hour, and tries to get in front of me aggressively.
Of course, I let him, and he ends up braking hard at the next red light so I pull up to the lane next to him. He's dodging eye contact with me at this point, so I roll down my window to get his attention. I give him one of these, but with a slight smirk as he just made my day with his madness:
This makes him madder, so he peels off once the light turns green. His car is an automatic = more lols.
Time to get onto the freeway. Circumstances cause him to end up behind me just before the clover on-ramp, and he's kissing my ass again. So I do what our cars were made to do: heel-toe, dropped 2 gears, and manhandled that on-ramp without even a chirp, leaving him in the dust.
I let off a bit to wait for him before merging onto the freeway, as he's rushing to catch up to me. Predictable as a goat, he tries to merge onto the freeway before the merging lanes meet.
Too bad, there's a truck in the way, leaving me plenty of room to slide in front and forcing him to get behind.
About 3 minutes later, after cutting a dozen people off and illegally crossing the double-white lines to get into the express lane, he passes me and throws the finger. I tremble in my seat and shed a tear in fear.
Poetic justice would have this bloke get ticketed immediately after for riding solo in the express lane/crossing the double-white lines, but life isn't a fairy tale, and he ends up hopping the double-white again further down to get out of the express lane, establishing his superiority and utter dominance over me by being 5 cars ahead in traffic.
Moral of the story: None.
The End.