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I couldn't get it out using the method shown by the ft86speedfactory install video as well, so I just pulled downward on the relay out of frustration and it came off with the soft white plastic clip it was attached to. It was easier to remove the clip from the stock relay afterwards (not sure if I just got lucky that it didn't break, or if it really will not break since it's made of a soft plastic), then I just attached it to the tom's relay and pushed it back on the hole in the dash beam.
I hope this helps.
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