[BoostJunkie]

This is a story from another forum I'm on, I read it and laughed out loud, the guy telling the story is in a Supra, and he is well-known for his story telling ability, enjoy!!


The Pale Horse vs F "is for fucking nuts" body.
Part 1

The world is limited to a very small handful of impractical assholes. Assholes that are triggered by mere stereotypical instances occurring at random within the world that seems to hinder their very existence. At the moment these infractions of reality occur they loss all ability to trigger their flight or fight mechanism. The outcome of these instances never ends positively.

There is nothing more disgraceful in the car world to a Ford owner, 69 Ford, Sub Chevy, then an import car with a loud exhaust and perhaps a flamboyant body kit. First before I go too far I would like to point out the ultimate truths to an "older" Chevy enthusiast.

1. No Ford, 69 Ford, sub Jap car, can ever beat my car.
a. I could be in my impala and I will smoke your shit.
2. No kid can drive as well as me.
a. A kid is any individual younger than me either by birthday or physical appearance.
3. Sunglasses increase my base horsepower.
a. Polarized lens have easily been proven to add at least 50hp at the rear wheels.

With that out of the way I guess I can set the scene.

Leaving work every day I run into the same people. I have seen the same people day after day on the road at the same time. Really a humans’ drive home after work is pretty precise. So in my days I have seen on occasion an older gentlemen, let’s say he is roughly 50 years old, smash on a handful of cars. This is all attributed to road we all merge onto at the end of the day. It is about 1 mile of pure unadultered highway that merges onto two sections of highway, North and South. This subsidiary to the larger highway has never contained a single officer, and starts out two lanes and opens up into many more.
At the light before a normal person merges onto this infamous piece of highway there are two lanes, the turning lane, and the not “so turning lane”. The “not so turning lane” does not allow you to turn, but some people believe it does… The turning lane can go as many as 20 cars deep and you can wait for one or two lights before you finally get to go under the overpass and merge onto the highway. Like every day, I am minding my own business patiently waiting my turn to turn. I wait through one light and barely miss the following light. I am at the front of the line, music on, windows down, enjoying the fall weather. Well, whizzing up from the "not so turning lane" is a white anniversary badged SS Camaro. Clearly this piece of finely tuned American Muscle is under the impression that his BIG V8 is going to easily overtake the car at the front of the line and merge onto the highway so that he can continue in his quest of being the first person home from work...

Well let me tell you, I have been in front before and am an advocator for waiting in line and not cutting people off. It is practically my role to teach each car that this isn't the way you are to go about life, when in fact I overtake them and they just get that much more room to get behind me, so while they aren't in front they have skipped the line and I made it equally easy by speeding up, then if I just let them overtake me... Maybe I am in need of a little car safety 101

Regardless I know the light well, so I begin watching the pedestrian crosswalk, because I know when the red hand counts to zero, I count one in my head and voila the light is green, my foot robotically mashes the gas and I am away!!! Yeah, five seconds of glory.

This day was no different and I doubt the Camaro driver even considered the possibility that he was lined up next to a Toyota that was any different from a Camry. Something started to unease me. As I watched the Red Hand count down the numbers I got the feeling that someone was ... well watching me. I didn't want to look because if they were watching me and I looked we would share that awkward moment. I waited a second or two and quick snapped a glance. Dammit!!! They were still looking at me.

Staring out the clear driver side window pane was an "older" individual with a classic gold link watch gripping the wheel. He had that I have shaved everyday for my entire life look to him, almost like his skin was half sandpaper. On top of all that was a set of 50hp polarized glasses. FUCK, I thought to myself, this was a true Chevy enthusiast. Still I doubted he knew what demon lurked next to him, but had I maintained eye contact any longer he might have raised his sunglasses and shot laser beams at me melting both me and my car.