Careful, your inner idiot is showing.
I've had plenty of RWD drivers wanting to tear their hair out wondering if somethings wrong with their cars when I used to track my SVT. You can almost completely rectify the issues with FWD for track driving so long as you don't plan on daily driving the car.
Reverse stagger the wheels, LSD, Urathane Bushings / motor mounts, good set of coilovers, suspension tuning, tower braces and a roll cage (I ran everything except the roll cage and my car did more than fine). The reason wheel hop happens is largely due to the front suspension being unloaded under hard acceleration and torque steer is fixable. The problem manufacturers have regarding torque steer isn't that they don't know how to get rid of it, it's that they have trouble eliminating it while still maintaining comfortable driveability.