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Lawyer up!
What did your insurance say about it? Ideally, your insurance would take care of it (new motor most likely), then claim indemnity against the dealer's insurance. But see what they can do for you first. Else, you can find out who dealer's insurance is, and call them directly to notify them about it.
Lastly, the manager that told you you could get a new motor, that may be a legally enforceable oral contract if you accepted right then and there. However, since you waited, they could withdraw the offer (which they apparently did), so you're SOL on that option. The only thing left is option #1.
As other's have mentioned, the composition is similar, transmission oil is just really thick oil. unless you tried to rev it up, likely no harm done. Extending warranty might not be bad.
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