I can't win.
Diode corrected the reverse ground current issue. I have now discovered that the ground only controls the LED in with switch. If depressed the switch will connect power to the relay even if not grounded. I guess I need to connect my relay to the common ground too? then the switched LED and the relay itself will be ground controlled..
Edit:
just gutted the diode dynamics power relay from my car. It was in there good. anyways it seems like the one I was sent combined the ground for the signal and the actual power circuit. Yay, rewiring time!
Edit2:
good thing I got 2 diodes..
now I need the 2nd one on the new ground im running.
Edit3:
relay harness modified. TBH the guys at diode dynamics make a nice harness, was easy to modify too. Wired protection diode inline with relay ground.