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A 2 finger grip is what I use to shift into 2nd, 4th and 6th. Just enough pressure to get it in there. Palm for neutral to 1st 3rd and 5th. When I first got the car (this is my first MT), I found myself "Death Gripping" the shifter all the time. You don't need a lot of force to make it happen. This came after I got more comfortable and "relaxed" behind the wheel though. In spirited driving, I use 3 fingers (imagine twisting off a cap on a bottle of coke) to grip the top of the knob.
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