Lets Hear Some Drunk Time Stories...
 

F.Y.I : sorry if my grammar is terrible.

Went to a big football school. Up until then I didn't drink. My first night drinking, we played every game imaginable with the now banned 4 loko. Being a lightweight, I was done after the 2nd can. I black out and wake up spooning with my best friends and random girl in the middle of us. Before I know it, I'm hearing screams of fans and the ESPN college gameday song. I stand up and the camera pans to me and I have the worst hangover face imaginable. All my friends back at home blow up my phone saying I was on national tv. Thank god my parents didn't see me.

@FRS_FIEND
Sounds like Biloxi. Good times man. I miss that place. You got VERY lucky for being retained. They kicked out a lot of my unit's best people because they've gotten in trouble once or twice. At the same time we are keeping all the shitbags that just have happened to keep their nose clean. I'm glad I didn't join until I was 21, I'd definitely be kicked out by now. haha

Anyway! Here's my story, I'll try to keep it short. Just graduated tech school and went home on leave. First time home since I've joined so first time back in about 9 months. My family has had a yacht for years and we decided to go to a place called Put in Bay. It is an island in Lake Erie that is pretty much only for partying. They have a big party called Christmas in July that is pretty insane and always a good time. The island has an entire square of bars around a park that are perfect for bar hopping all weekend and a few swim up bars and a lot of drunk hot women. It's sort of a mini vacation for us Ohioans so everyone has that "Spring Break" type of mentality, what happens on the island stays on the island kind of thing. I bring about 6 of my friends for the weekend and we dock the boat at said island.

First night on the island we go out to this swim bar and get blitz. One of my buddies already ran off with this hot chick he met at the bar. We never see him again the entire weekend until one hour before we had to leave on Sunday. He then filled us in on all his sexcapades. That's a WHOLE other story.

We go out to all the other bars on the island and party all night. I end running into one of my close friends and his older brother we used to party with. He buys us a bunch of trays of shots. We all take way too many because we're so excited to see each other out in the wild. As we're walking back to the boat I fall on a curb and my two front teeth puncture through my top lip and the two teeth fall out. I'm blacked out at this point and don't remember doing it. My dad flags down a rigshaw (yeah they have those lol) we all go back to the boat.

I wake up in the morning and my two teeth are missing. Quite a ridiculous thing to wake up to. They tell me the story including how they couldn't believe how I was able to walk across 4 boats that were rafted off each other to get back on our boat even after I couldn't walk across a curb.

I spend the rest of the weekend partying with my friends and telling random fellow partiers why my face is so fucked up lol It's a double edged sword however, plenty of women wanted to know what happened so it was a great ice breaker, but I definitely wasn't going to get any action since half of my top lip was dead flesh and I had to wait for it to fall off. Plus, I'm rocking the redneck teeth since there is not dentist on the island.

@Bg8780

Thanks man yeah I stayed in a straight line since LOL Nah it was Sheppard in texas lol.


your story is crazy!Ii would lose my mind waking up to missing my front teeth!!

That spot sounds sick as fuck too! lol

also if you could edit out my story in your post that would be awesome Less clutter ;) use the @username way its just as effective ;)

:bump: anyone got some stories? :D

None that I can remember. :(

I actually purchased and attempted to consume MD 20/20 once.

http://www.toowhitecrew.com/wp-conte...09/mad-dog.jpg

OH god so, so, so many!

I'll keep mine short and sweet.

Wife had started a new job that year (2014) where she started traveling all the time. So she set it up to be in Nashville in November (got a good friend there and we had been a few times, and we live in Tulsa), I bought us VIP tickets to see Mastodon, meet the band before the show, etc.

She gets so fucking blitzed before and during the opening acts, she can't stand up and gets us kicked out of the show before Mastodon comes on. $400 in tickets wasted, and her paying for my flight wasted.

Alcohol was a big part of ruining our relationship, myself included, within 6 months she has asked for a divorce and I moved out.

Drove hungover 240 miles. I was an idiot! Then realized i was almost to Oregon border... was on way to Monterey.

The night before i drank 20 beers, bottle of Jack, jameson and some mixed drinks.

Other time i was at bar with gf, got confused, took hand of stranger and took to truck for you know what.... then i saw her face and ran out.... it was some hippie girl. She kod in my truck. My gf then was pissed off and a few days later broke up. She least helped me drive hippie girl to her apt. I was freaked.

Final story.

Sky and I were drinking 4locos and Nuvo in her then big Ford V8 truck. We were parked near a river in the back roads near Davis. She complained it was chilly, so i turned on her truck heater (i was driver) and we got warm and fuzzy. 2-3 bottles later she gets the courage to sit on my lap, i hugged her and held her. We kissed a bit while "let the good times roll" by the Cars played softly. I was about to start my way on to a home run when i hit the accelerator, the truck redlined, bounced off the rpm and VvvvvvvVvvrooooooyuuuuuuuuyuuuuuummmm!!!!!!!!! It went...

Well, needless to say, i didnt go 4th base, i developed ED that night, and couldnt stop laughing at how scared i was at the sound the truck made. Every time id take Sky out from then on, id look at her and laugh uncontrollably. My International Political Economy professor kicked me out of class twice! for laughing....urhhghhhhuuuh

Our original plans were to spend the nighg in the truck. We woulda sobered up by then.


Anyway those are 3 of my 9 or so stories.

http://www.despensavaldes.com/WebRoo...NUVO_70_CL.jpg

@OkieSnuffBox awwww

Night of my bachelor party. First marriage of two.

My two "best" friends take me out to S. Orange Blossom Trail in Orlando, which at that time was basically nothing but tittie bars from one end to the other. I enjoy several lap dances at no charge, once the girls find out that I am the bachelor/victim. After several hours, we leave; I haven't thrown up yet, so my "best" friend decides that he will solve that problem by driving in a tight circle in a parking lot. After about the fifth or sixth circle, I say "OK, better stop now!!!" I open the passenger's door and leave my lunch, dinner and several drinks on the pavement.

Never did get that stripper's phone number, though.

I did that once in New Jersey; took a wrong turn when exiting the Turnpike. Headed for Baltimore, but instead I ended up in Cape May. A couple of hours to get back and then another two hours to get home. Oy!

Was in SoCal for a D1GP event when I was like 17. Was with my cousin and two of his classmates. 1 was underage but both guys were rich. We are at a restaraunt and the legal guys go next door for a drink and realize the club wristbands are almost the same as our pit pass bands (basically just plain white). Say fuck it why not try and it works. Underage rich dude is having a blast and bought 3 or 4 bottles of Patron for us. Dancing and just being dumb (we were in a college town on a weekend. Lots of people having a good time) We all get hammered. Go back to the hotel and there is a party going on taking up the entire floor above us. It was the carryover of a conference taking place at the hotel. I go to sleep while they leave to check it out. Cousin comes back an hour or so later but the 2 rich guys go back out to meet up with some cougars they met. We get a call at 6:30AM the next day and they are on a plane back home in Sacramento. They still dont remember how they even got to the airport and ended up missing the whole race. They did have pics of the cougars though and one guy had a vid of him getting a BJ from one in our hotel bathroom. We didnt even know he came back to the room.

Welp, thats the best I got (that I'm willing to share at least...)

Short story:

5 or 6 years ago, I (and everyone else) had way too much to drink at a simple gathering in a dark basement with a blacklight simply providing illumination. Just sat in a circle and passed bottles and bottles around, not caring what it was. I was getting sleepy but willed myself to stay awake.

The gay dude sitting next to me took the opportunity to give me a lap dance. I was trying to push him away but eventually said "fuck it, too tired and sleepy".

I don't recall what happened after that. :eyebulge:

This story made me nervous when I got to the "just sat in a circle" part and then went downhill from there!

I hope it didn't "go further downhill" than where I last remember things!!!

This is possible if not probable... sorry Steve...

And anyone else think swim up bars are just cleverly disguised urinals?... just saying

We were in Yakitori alley, Tokyo Japan. Eating late at night, in the late summer. It was perfect weather and the trip was going well.

I knew just enough Japanese to have also taken one of the business courses. One of the businessmen eating next to us introduced himself and we exchanged business cards (formally). From here on, no more pouring your own sake. I briefly remember attempting to sing in Japanese.

We woke up in our hotel room; I was in the bathtub. We both started throwing up everywhere, and that is when we realized we had to leave for the airport in three hours.

There are a few things I know:
- We had all of our belongings.
- We had all of our money (seriously?)
- We can say we did it, but we can't say what happened. Total black out.

Edit: Just realized, woke up in a bathtub, kidney intact.

so one time for a friends birthday party we decided to do an entire day worth of activities.

it started off with breakfast at a whitespot. it was probably like 10 of us. I ordered the Nat's Hearty Breakfast and a coffee. 2 sunny side up eggs, sausage, bacon, smash browns, and half a waffle. so good.

anyway, we finished up and then went to watch a movie, then went back home and had a nap (not together).

after waking up, we all met up at a rec centre and played some hockey. that was about 2 hours. now this rec centre is pretty busy and it was like 1pm on a Saturday. as we were leaving we saw a group of pretty damn hot girls in yoga pants refilling their water bottles, and they were all sweaty. 7 or 8/10.

one of them dropped their bottles and it rolled to me so I picked up the bottle for her and she said thanks. I say no problem and make a comment about how busy it is in there today. we start talking for a bit and he friends were waiting so she says she's gotta go.

all of us go home and we all get ready to head out for the night. we meet up at a fancy place for dinner and have a few drinks then can to a club. we waited outside for like 45 minutes till we got in. once we got in I thought I recognized the girl from the rec centre. my friends didn't think it was her, but after some debating and a few drinks I went up to her and asked if she was the girl I talked to early. turns out she was and we started talking for like 20 minutes.

a little bit later we were doing some shots then started dancing. her ass was soooooooo nice. she was wearing a tight shortish black dress.

I went back to the bar and ordered a couple of more drinks for us and after I placed my order I turned around and saw her walking towards me with one of her friends that were also at the gym. she introduced me to her and I ordered a drink for her too. we takes and finished up our drinks and we were talking back to the dance flow and I followed them. but instead they took me outside and I was like wtf? they got a cab and we got in and she said we are going to go somewhere else.

I texted my friends and said I'll be back in a bit, and when I looked up the 2 girls were making out! fuuuuuuuuuck

the "somewhere else" we were going was apparently her condo. we got inside and both girls grabbed my hand brought me to the couch. I was pretty drunk at this point but still aware of what was happening.

the night went on and you can guess what happened. I stayed the night and when I woke up I realized I forgot to message my friends to tell them Lehrer I was. I had a ton of missed calls and texts. they were so pissed. I quickly got dressed and went downstairs and

I whistled for a cab and when it came near .The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare.But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, home to Bel-Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo home smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom I was finally there. To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air

.......and here I thought @Packofcrows was a sick puppy ....... :eyebulge:


humfrz

Yep, I hear that! ......... :bonk:


humfrz

OK, @Tcoat ...... you may tell ONE drunk-a-log story.

NOT one involving barnyard animals .......:confused0068:


humfrz

Why's that?

The urban dictionary says:

"(n) a mentally disturbed, insane, or attention-seeking person that does or says revolting, disgusting, or bizarre things.

OR

a person who says or does twisted or gross things (but is not necessarily insane)

Pick one ........... :D


humfrz

Are you calling me a whore?
http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i53/2/12/1...AIL-d26de6.jpg

Junior year was a blur.

First time I partied with my new roommates.

Woke up and my bed was three wheeling.

Went into the living room and occasionally cross dressing, physical therapy assistant of a roommate was stretching my 350+ pound roommate's arm.

With my head still spinning, fighting back nausea, I asked "What happened to you?"

He just glared at me, while the PTA said "You...you don't...Do you not remember?"

"Remember what?"

"YOU did this! You all got into some sort of wrestling match"

Somehow the broken bed and wrestling my roommate were related.

I also couldn't find my keys and had to borrow someone's truck to go buy football tickets for the year. Got there and realized I was still drunk when I was talking to the ticket lady through the ticket-hole instead of the talk-box-thingy because I couldn't see her face when talking through it.


I've got better, but this is probably the safest one and doesn't involve a woman.

Well, lets see...

From bits and pieces of what I remember, and what a couple of the guys recounted, here goes:

I was 19 or 20 at the time, and we went out to the filthiest club in town, trying to get my friend laid. Somewhere along the line that night, I earned a nickname that still holds somewhat true every now and then was born: "The Black-out Menace".

I got extremely, extremely drunk and it was all downhill from there. Apparently I get kinda mean and a little bit scrappy when I get rye into me, and that's what I was drinking all night. Short of the long, someone called a friend of mine a homophobic slur, and I took extreme offense to that. Ended up I sucker punched the guy and luckily, I managed to drop him in that one punch. I got escorted out, police came and picked me up. Got tossed in the drunk tank, not charged and ended up with free McDonalds in the morning.

Good times. Though, the drunk tank isn't all that fun. But can't complain about a free breakfast.

Oh sure give me permission then take it away all in one post!

OK, just one ....... but, restrict it to just sheep ........ :D


humfrz

There will never be another ewe.

TLDR Drunk ebayed and won a school bus on ebay. Told them the situation they found a 2nd buyer and was cool about the whole thing.

Are you saying you were a baaaaaaaaad boy .... ??

:D


humfrz

A friend called and wanted me to give him a ride. I arrived and found out he was drunk. I thought, wow he's being responsible. He wanted to get something to eat so he said to go to nice Italian restaurant that he knows. We get there, got a table and he started to talk to the waitress. I went to the restroom, came back and I see him picking the waitress putting her over one of his shoulder. He proceeds to exit the restaurant with her over his shoulder. All I can think off at this point is oh crap I'm gonna get arrested tonight! I ran after him and to my surprise she knew my friend. Thank goodness. I convinced him to let her down and I drove him home. Got to his place and left me a gift of vomit all over my passenger side floor and all over my door panel. The following day he claimed that he didn't remember anything that happened.

Good times.

Uhmm I have WAY too many stories to tell while intoxicated......has cost me alot of money from being dumb over the years but also tons of laughter.


One time, a friend and I were at our shop in Byron..said man we are bored..let's go do something. Like what? Let's go walk around San Francisco and get drunk!:lol: Then I was like let's ride bikes around San Francisco and get drunk! Then he said nah too big and bulky....what about scooters? I was like huh? He said Razor scooters....well I agreed to it.
We went and bought Razor scooters...drove to Bart in Dublin..hopped on and off we went...got off at Civic Center...
startin boozing....btw this was about 10AM in the morning at this point...:lol:
Anyways...we headed out to Embarcadero..rode up towards Fort Mason..up and over onto Marina...towards Golden Gate..then back towards Russian Hill..
Meanwhile we were stoppin at Liquor stores and gettin booze....
headed up to Chinatown to hit a few dive bars...then went to the strip clubs...
then back up California towards Haigh/Ashbury....by this time we were drunk as all hell..not wasted but pretty drunk and it was like around 5PM..well kept on boozing...
Then we started headin back down the hill towards Embarcadero Bart...and we decided lets get some donuts.
Hit a donut shop..it's like 8PM now.
Riding across street with donuts...boom my friend hits a crack in street and straight FACE PLANTS. Knocks himself out....finally wakes up like 40 seconds later...face all fucked up..huge knot on his head and blood everywhere.
I walk him to a nearby stoop and realize man hes got alot of blood and gonnna need stitches. He looks like a alien! Huge ass KNOT on his forehead and like just fckd up in general....I was like SHIT.. Well I was drunk and said fuck it im not tryna get him to San Fran General like this...we were blocks away on Market St...so..call 911.
Anyways Ambulance and FD roll up....explain what happen. He hops in ambulance..I hop in to get a ride to SFGH.

Long story short..he needed stitches ...they wouldnt stitch him till he sobered up...called my girlfriend saying uhm we are gonna need a ride home......she got to SFGH about 1AM right when they were stitching him up...finally released him...on our way home about 3:30AM...he hops in car..and first thing asks "Dude wheres my donuts and chocolate milk??"
I said "I gave em to a bum hanging out by the stoop you were sitting on..figured you werent going to want em"
He said "Your a **** you know that lol"

We worked at same company, I went to bed at 5AM..woke up at 8AM headed to shop...he uh called in:D
He didnt have insurance at time.....cost him $2700 including ambulance ride. Oh and his pops went and picked up his truck for him at Dublin bart the next day...and the only thing his pops said to him was "You owe me $20 for gas you jackass, your tank was empty":lol:

If lame...I got plenty more stories..some I probably wouldn't tell as they are bad and a little incriminating lol.
Way too many drunk stories