Can you legally destroy someone's car if they are illegally parked on your property?
 

A Google search isn't giving me any definitive results.

:paddle:

Seriously doubt it.

I had someone park in my driveway and the police couldn't even legally tow it away.
I on the other hand could pay for it to be removed though.

BTW, before anyone thinks I'm entirely serious, here's some background info:

This person has parked on my property three times now. The first two times I left a note explicitly stating that they're on private property. Those notes were left smack in the center of the windshield, so they couldn't have missed it.

It's like this person just thinks he/she is the king of the universe or something. Does this person seriously think they'll get away with this forever? Are people this dense?

Call the police. Have them towed.

Get it towed, totally worth it.
Be sure to set up a camera to see their "WTF happened to my car?" face.

I'm surprised police haven't done anything based upon you notifying the owner of the car multiple times, yet the owner of the car still does this. It could fall under harassment, but I'm not in enforcement so I wouldn't know.
I would tow the hell out of that car. (+ points if you record the reaction)

If they try to do it again?
Spike strips. A lot of them.

I'll put something really heavy behind it and block that car in for a few days.

Put up No Trespassing signs so they can't claim they didn't know. Call the cops and have the owner charged if they do it again after that. Better yet, look into abandoned car laws. It's illegally left on your property, you might be able to claim it as dumped and sell it.

4 rented jersey barriers would completely block it in. Not going anywhere.

If it truly is on your property, and no one else would be parking there, I would put a shit load of screws/nails in that area. Hopefully they end up with a couple flat tires.

Just let the air out of all four tires.

Shove some dog shit in their grille. That's all they will be smelling for awhile.

I think any damage to the car would get you in trouble for damage to private property, even though it's on YOUR property. Leaving traps or something so that he does the damage himself... Now that's another story. :)

Private property on dirt? Roost that mother fucker