Epic kill storys
 

Try your hand at an epic tale. Its one thing to say "blah blah raced a tractor and won", Its another to add embelishment and description.

I wrote this back in 05, I was in college for AST. At the time I was driving a pretty heavily modified MS Protege. A friend of mine at the school drove a late 80's 5.0L ruststang (jk, respect), constantly talking trash at each other. Import VS Muscle, that old shit ticket. But it was just in good fun and always a laugh.

Based on a true story, told as a Viking.



The streets were bare, a subtle breeze whisps the trees. Waves of heat dance off the pavement..

A Roar fills the peaceful void.

5.0L Fox body mustang, Camed, Intake, Exhaust and Throttle body. Every shot, Every motion of the engine, causing the car to rock in a fashion best described as Demonic.

The motor Rev's high, Birds leave thier nests, as if the world were coming to an end. The rear tires of the Monster break loose.. Smoke and smoldering pavement shoot from underneath the lumbering mechanical construct. The chassis creeps sideways, leaving only a burning mass in its wake.

Rolling Thunder.

From a side street, as the Thunderous beast sat at idle, A Blackened vehicle pulls slowly through the intersection.. a loud noise, that of a Horse, flutters from the blow-off valve as it creeps menacingly down the road, lining parallel to the Thunderous beast, hissing as the body halts.

Smoke still clearing from the air, The motor of the Black machine begins to open up. The shrill whine of the Turbocharger wails in the air like a Wraith, Reaching its peak.. The front tires erupt into a firey scream of rubber against asphalt. Only a few seconds pass before the car disappears into its white cloak.

The Chaotic sound comes to an abrupt halt with the snap of the blow off valve releasing pressurized air.

The long road Clear of any traffic or wildlife, Stretching for miles on end.

Smoke finally cleared of the area, the vehicles become anxious, The Thunderous Mustang drowning the spooling scream of the Mazdaspeed's turbo; The Monsters break loose.

Gaining one car length on the mazdaspeed, the mustang crouches and launches forward aggressivly. The mazdaspeed flutters a little to help gain traction, pulling half of its lost ground by the end of the first gear.

Now even with the door of the mustang, the mazdaspeed hard shifts into second gear, just one second before the mustang. Pulling that equal car length the speed needed to even the score.

Both Beasts tires still trying to grip the hot pavement, they chase each other through second gear. Hard shifting at the same time into third, the speed begins to gain slowly on the mustang. The turbo Screaming and thrusting the speed a car length ahead of the red beast.

Shifting into Fourth, the speed still gaining at a steady pace, half way through the Red mustang shuts down, with no hope of catching the Black speed.


Dusk beginning to set into the sky, Both machines continue along their own seperate paths, only to meet again and continue what has been started.

wat

See you in Valhalla

I ran over a squirrel yesterday. I'm pretty sure I killed it.

i know it's not epic.. :(

lol, just an excersise on creative writing.

I get fucking bored sitting at this desk hitting New Posts every 10 mins.

I gotta get out of here.

Same happened to me on Tuesday. Poor little guy dove in there last minute and I didn't have the space to avoid it due to being in a narrow road. Saw it's poor little head roll in my rearview. :(

So uh.. You still in contact with your old dealer?
Just go ahead and throw him my mailing address, thanks!

i managed to kill a rabbit, fortunately my car is red.

I was driving a beautiful county road a few days ago.
Fall colors. The light seemed to be infused with reds and golds. The snow clad peak of Mt Baker gleamed in the distance. All this my unconscious mind took in, and I was unaware as I approached a dark patch on the road. I was speeding towards the dark patch at 55mph, and then, in the blink of an eye I was upon it. I had only ten seconds to react. I made a few quick calculations to determine my best course of action, in the middle of which, my brain froze.
Target fixation set in and I drove strait over the dark patch. *TINK! TINK! TINK!*
F*#%ing gravel.

LOL

killed the toilet this morning

god damnit im bored.

Work cubicle minion!!! Work!!!! Tap those keyboard keys!!! Also, don't forget to put the cover sheet on the front of the TPS reports and yeah I'm going to need you to come in Saturday and ummmm, Sunday. *sips coffee*

oh god


That movie is chillingly accurate.