Dipstick Inconsistency
 

Does anyone share the issue of having to re-read the dipstick more than 3 times in a row to get the correct measurement?

One side reads low, other side reads high.
Re-measure- low side reads higher, high side reads higher.
Re-measure- low side reads lower, high side reads lower.

I understand it's the way these motors are built but what is a fool-proof way to know you've filled up enough/haven't overfilled?

I know there are aftermarket dipsticks where they provide a button (air suction button to my knowledge) that allows the dipstick to read precisely each time- but I'm not trying to spend $75+ for a dipstick. There must be a way.

Dipstick Inconsistency
 

One side of the dipstick always reads wrong (way high), ignore that one. The other side is a bit inconsistent but making the surface a bit rougher by sanding it made a pretty good difference in increasing the repeatability.

it s kinda important the ground your car is parked in, must be very flat and no pendency

Definitely took that into account with all my dipstick measurements.
Leveled parking still does not allow consistent readings in my case.
Not just on my current 86, but also the same in my old FRS.
Same thing happens in my friend's STI.

Sanding is a good idea. Do you typically allow it to sit before reading the measurement? Or do you do push in and pull out really quickly? I personally noticed if I bend the dipstick to have a curve (curved in position facing the car, curved out position facing me) it seems to be a little bit more consistent but still not 100% accurate.

What if you over sand? Too much oil will stick to the dipstick giving a false reading..

there's so much oil that goes so many places and slowly drains back, if at all, i don't ever expect to get a real reading.

close is close.

I mistook this for an astute political observation. My bad.

Well maybe it's f*cking worth it to just get the $80 accurate dipstick. Fml... haha

I just do what you do. Take multiple measurements and hope for the best lol.

I have noticed the "low side" (what i call the front which actually points to the back of the car) seems to be more reliable when adding oil so I trust that side more.

Worry about it when the dipstick comes out dry

I never really had an issue. One side will be correct and the other will be way high. Only look at the lower side.

In general, you want enough oil in there that the high hole is filled with oil, which will only happen when the actual oil is at that level. The 'high' reading will just slosh oil up the one side of it and not fill that hole.

As far as consistent reading, I check mine weekly before autocross and it's dead on every time.