Dead battery, but car won't boost
 

Looks like I popped the trunk with my FOB in my pocket last night, trunk was open and battery was dead.

I tried boosting it this morning with my wife's car, but nothing. Lights don't turn on or anything even with jumper cables connected. Double checked connections and they seemed fine. Checked the 80 &120a fuses attached to battery and they are intact, as is the 80a one in the box.

Any ideas? I do have a voltmeter to test things, but without any charge from the battery, it would probably only be useful when cables are attached

When completely discharging a lead acid battery, it is possible to create an internal short between the cells. In this case, the battery will never accept a charge and it is ruined for good.

This is why car batteries are only intended to be used momentarily, and always immediately charged back up to full capacity.

Leave it connected for a while with the car running, it might take a while to put enough charge into to run the ECU.

A trickle charger is the next step, at least a good trickle charger with diagnose the condition of the battery and maybe save it.

Good luck, dead batteries suck arse.