Who was the first person to...
 

What have you always wondered?

Who was the first person to walk up to a cow and go "Im gonna yank on these nipple looking things and drink what comes out"

Or as @Tcoat asked
Who was the first person to go "im gonna boil 10 gallons of tree sap and then taste the 16oz that is left"

Somewhere. Someplace. At least two people agreed upon meaning of the first spoken word.

That's understandable, because women nurse infants, cows nurse calves, female mammals nurse their young, so I can see how they would draw enough of a connection to at least try it out.


What dumbass ate a sea urchin, died, and then his friend said "but what if we cut it like this..."?

And to think that was the last time the whole world agreed on the meaning of something

Who was the first person to type totalled on a car forum.

That was the humorous one. The rest a little less so.

Who was the person that invented cheese?


"Hey look! Here's a jug of milk I left in the corner a few months ago"
"It has something solid in the bottom now, I wonder how it tastes?"

Even better, some of the esoteric cheeses. "This cheese has gotten really moldy, let me try it now."


"It had a nice sharp taste when it was a little moldy, what happens if we let it get really bad?"


The French are strange people.

Pickles.
"Damnit I dropped that cucumber in that vat of smelly stuff and there is no way I am reaching in for it"




6 months later


"hey that cucumber still looks great and I am pretty hungry I think I will taste it"

Who thought oh damn my cat has eaten my only coffee beans.. oh wait a minute my cat's just pooped them out.. wow what a great cup of coffee..

And then "Hey, it worked for cucumbers, what about these eggs. and maybe these pig feet I have nothing else to do with"

This might be my favorite thread on the forum.

Who went bird spotting coming across cute little birds making their nests from their own saliva. Thinking wow I bet the nest will make a great soup!

" Hey Joe. Remember that whisky you accidently put in that burnt barrel 20 years ago? It actually tastes pretty good"

I thought it was Jack?

Ohhh I never thought of that!

I thought it was Jill?

Why did Jack think it was a good idea to take Jill up the hill?

And who the hell goes UP a hill looking for water in the first place!?

I have pierced my left and right ear lobes, my nose, my lip and both my nipples.. erm.. what else can I pierce??

On purpose?

Less chance of people peeing and pooping in it the closer you are to the original. :)

Who was the first person to realise that water tastes better up the hill?

I am vegetarian... But, Humans eat EVERYTHING! When I was in China; I wondered who was the first person to start eating all of these things...
https://i.imgflip.com/1hf3tn.jpgvia Imgflip Meme Generator
https://i.imgflip.com/1hf3vs.jpgvia Imgflip Meme Generator
https://i.imgflip.com/1hf3wq.jpgvia Imgflip Meme Generator
https://i.imgflip.com/1hf3y6.jpgvia Imgflip Meme Generator

Really REALLY hungry ones!

Lol probably a very hungry cantonese.
Back in china, we have a lot jokes about cantonese eat anything..

Who thought Balut was a good idea

http://watchappetite.ph/wp-content/u.../09/balut1.jpg

Even if it dose taste good...................

"Hey Angus I accidently spilled the oatmeal into that sheep stomach filled with left over organs you wanted me to throw out what should I do?"


"That is the last time you screw up like that and we aren't letting good oatmeal go to waste so now that is your dinner!"

What if we use all of that red liquid in the animal......

http://www.germandeli.com/product-im...20170110074731

Paleoanthropologists studying the evolution of spoken words have agreed that the first speech word evolved from grunts, mumbles and single 'words'.

Reproduction and food were the obvious first subjects communicated about; and studies have determined that based on the physical traits of early man/woman's, the most common sounds were 'fffff' and 'mmmm'.

An argument between a male and female about whether to copulate (ffff) or eat (mmmm) would have gone like this:

male: "ffffff"
female (shaking her head and pointing to her empty stomach): "mmm"
male (pointing at his thing): "fffff!"
female (still shaking her head): "mmmm!"
male (getting more agitated): "FFFF!"
female (not backing off): "MMMM!"
male (in her face and spitting): "FFFFFFTTTTT!!!"
female (gritting her teeth): "MMMNNNTTT"
male (hopping up and down and yelling): "FFFFIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!"
femaile (pushing him away and drumming on her hungry tummy): "MMMMMNNTTT!"

Over time, the argument over whether to copulate or eat first, was combined into one expression (FFFFFIIITTTMMMMNNT) and evolved into the first spoken word, 'fitment'. The sequence of eating first, then copulating afterwards became the word 'date'. The original, prehistoric meaning of the 'fitment', the first spoken word, was lost until only recently, and now is commonly used to describe a fixed item or piece of furniture.

http://www.ediblebugshop.com.au/

Attachment 148059

My wife keeps telling me I need to improve on that...

This weeks winner of the internet! ^^^^^^^^^^^https://i.imgur.com/XYqfLIm.gif

who was the first person to go against god's planned design of the human body and decide it would be best to cut the skin off someone's d!ck?

Not sure about who designed it but still a good question!


"Hmmmm I'm not using this extra skin, think I will just get it chopped off. Hey Oog grab that sharp rock and come here a second would you?"

Eskimo God designed it to keep the head warm..

More like hey Elijah

:laughabove:

questions like this are why I started this thread

You've been stung by a jellyfish..? Hold still.