What is your opinion about bullying?
 

I was driving and heard some talk about bullying on the radio... I think it was NPR. I know it is quite a problem... but it also frustrates me how it is hard to battle it. So I just wanted to start a discussion regarding this issue with the following questions. :brokenheart:


What is the worst case of bullying and harassment that you know of?


Has bullying impacted your life?

I was short all through school and was "bullied" lol, called names and stuff.. But it didn't really bother me.. I never had thoughts of suicide or was depressed because of it.. I just didn't care.

Now we just moved to a new neighborhood, and this 11 year old was bullying and throwing around my girlfriends 5 year old son. She went out there and the kid got in her face. I went out there and he got in my face and I shoved him back telling him IDGAF the age of a kid.. I'll slap the shit out of a little bitch ass brat.. He started shaking and everything and I told him when my 15 year old son gets here this summer, I'll have him kick that kids ass everyday if he touches a 5 year old again.. The mom came and I told her the same.. No 11 y/o needs to be hitting, pushing or putting their hands on.. It's sad how people can't discipline their kids, and let them run all over them with the excuse, "they're just kids"

Part of life is picking on, or being picked on.. Happens in all stages of life.. No matter the age.. I think there shouldn't be lines that are crossed..

Pretty much this, but mainly that.

The sad part is that bullying has entered a whole new era, online. Kids/adults are now subject to bullying in all areas of their life, and it becomes difficult to escape it. But kids/adults are crossing too many lines now a days, pinpointing and picking on certain individuals because they are different in one way or another, and it saddens me to see people taking their own lives because of it. If they speak up, no one listens, or no one can do anything.

I want to put something in perspective. Russia invades and pushes Ukraine around, or North Korea threatens South Korea/US, and our society wants to send armies to stop it. But yet there are peoples privacy being invaded, and people being pushed around, or threatened on a daily basis and no one moves a finger.

I, too, was short, (relatively) smart and wanted to please the teachers. Not the ideal combination. Letting it bother you is the worst thing you can do.

The solution was to punch the bully - being so much smaller, it took me awhile to get the nerve up, but one punch each time was enough to stop it. Probably didn't even hurt much, but bullies are not nearly as tough as they act.

Of course, those were different times. Doing that now would result in immediate suspension for the person defending themselves.

That, ultimately, is the problem. Schools are not allowed to discipline kids anymore with anything other than detention or suspension - and kids aren't allowed to defend themselves... there was a recent case where a boy wasn't allowed to bring a backpack to school because it was too much of a temptation to the bullies to pick on him. Granted, it was a boy carrying a My Little Pony backpack, but so what.

It's all about parental supervision. As the economy gets worse and the value of the dollar decreases more and more households have to send both parents to work. I think that's why you're seeing bullying getting worse.
Look at these little bastard's if these were my kids I would be so embarrassed
[ame]http://youtu.be/l93wAqnPQwk[/ame]

I get bullied every day at work.

I bully right back.

I think kids that DON'T get bullied early in life are actually at an emotional disadvantage later. I realize I'm only looking at one aspect of this issue, and every human being on earth is going to react to stress in different ways. Just my opinion.

Bullies can go fuck themselves.
I was bullied practically everyday. All day, everyday, through middle and highschool. It was a living hell. They would pull my hair, spit on me, puts bugs in my hair...It was absolutely awful.
In high school, since I played sports (and was actually quite good), people would make up stories like I had down syndrome to get me off the team. PE was horrible. If I was slow, people would purposefully trip me and just..
I was in the homecoming court for my senior year. Turns out I was elected just so the other female could have an "easy win." The ridicule I got at the dance was astounding.


The whole "kids will be kids" is bullshit, these little shits know exactly what they're doing. Parents need to discipline, and be actual parents.
The thing that drives me insane is at school, there was a male child with a MLP lunchbox and was bullied. Instead of focusing on the bullies, the school banned the lunchbox.

I know several people that were bullied while they were in school, and there are still signs of it in the way they behave today (I'm 30+ now.) I have two kids of my own now. If I find out they're bullying another kid I'll likely be so livid with them I won't know what to do, but I absolutely won't tolerate that bullshit. And if they're being bullied hopefully they'll come to me or my wife and tell us about it, because most kids won't. I'll put a stop to it any way possible.

I can't really say I was ever bullied. Kids teased me every once in a while, and some kids are just assholes too, but there was a line that was never crossed. I sorta fell into the goth crowd a bit while I was in high school. Black clothes, chains, long black coat. But they did a lot of stupid shit too so I never really felt like I fit in there either. Anyway, we got picked on every once in a while but it was just name calling, and there never was a whole lot of attention directed at me because I still had friends in a handful of other cliques. And then Columbine happened and it got really quiet for a long while. And then some asshole jock threw a brick through the window of my friend's car, and that set something off between the cliques again. But nobody really messed with me. Then I transferred schools for my last year so I had a chance to sorta start fresh.

And now a short rant.. The fuck is all of this "no tolerance" bullshit? I'm hearing stories now about how one kid starts a fight and is beating on another kid, who doesn't fight back, but because of "no tolerance" they both get punished/suspended/etc. All that says to me is "Well, you're going to get punished anyway. Might as well do as much damage as possible because the consequence will be the same."

You GO, girl! :thumbsup:

Am I allowed to say that? I'm older than your dad. ;)

You know, if I had a son your age, I think I would be very pleased were he to marry YOU, or someone just like you. :)

I lived it everyday. The online bullying never really took off on my side. Instead of I used online to escape reality. 7 years ago when it started I made friends, and guess what? They're still my friends today despite never meeting them. They got me through high school. Teachers don't care because it's "how kids should act" or so they claim. Probably my worst were the football players. They'd all play "linebacker" and basically ram me into the wall/locker. That was considered horseplay to teachers though.

One of the online friends helped me realized they only bully because they're jealous of what the person they were bullying had.

Sad thing, was when I joined the Army and the short time I was in before my medical discharged is it happens just as much there as it did in high school. Except in the Army, "if somebody didn't see it then it never happened"

Hmm, how it changed me. I guess in a sense I avoid people in person now. I don't even want to shake somebodies hand. Maybe in a sense that's why I avoid the local car meets because big groups of people terrify me. Hell, even in college now. I sit in the back corner of every class so no one sits behind me. A high school habit I formed.

Yes you are, but at the second point, I wouldn't be too sure about that. :)


In volleyball I would have to practice up against a wall because people would pair up, and a group would go into 3s because they didn't want me as a partner, even though I was capable.
Was always done with my work the first in class. Got my work stolen many a times.. Will make the high school reunion that much more interesting,I guess.. Seeing how some of the bullies are still giving me the same shit they gave me that many years ago.


I feel parents want to be the child's "friend" rather than a parent,and that's why not only entitlement has gone up, but bullying as well.
@dbrandt01
http://31.media.tumblr.com/72f1025bd...qdl9o1_500.gif
Thank you for your service. And I hope you feel better.

I got picked on a lot in school and the other kids didn't leave me alone until I started fighting back.

Broke one kid's nose in front of his mom. He got up in my face walking in to school that morning, his mom dropped him off, and I just bashed my forehead into his face and he just dropped. :lol:

Overblown.

It can permanently do psychological damage to kids. Insecurity when getting older is one problem that bullying brings. @dem00n, you're an idiot.

You're a hypocrite.

Thanks for picking up on that.

This is why we can't have topics like this.

Disagreements, then people insult each other.
Typical.

I got bullied occasionally growing up in the south suburbs of Houston where there were no asian people, pretty much all up til my junior year in highschool. I'd still hear some "comments" about my race which i wasn't exactly fond of but wasn't exactly racist either. It didn't help that i was chubby, not super attractive, and had bad acne til i graduated.

This encouraged me to start working out and train in MMA. Emotionally it made me bitter and quick to go on the offensive if i felt like someone was disrespecting (bullying) me. The good thing about it is now i try to reach out to people now who seem like they need a friend, i like to spread awareness about bullying, and in general i just try to help people who are less fortunate as much as i can. I'd like to think it has made me a humble person and able to understand what it feels like to feel hopeless and unwanted which enables me to better connect with others out there who have ever felt the same.

Funny related story: A few days ago i was at the gym and a guy that was known to be a bully in HS (who got me a few times when we were younger as well) recognized me immediately and said "hey didn't you go to _____ hs? you got swole as hell, what happened?" Funny thing was i felt zero animosity towards him, assumed that we're both grown ups now and just let bygones and bygones. So maybe some people do change when they grow up, or maybe he just respected me more because i got big.

As far as internet bullying/trolling goes, it's hard for me to speak on that because i never had to deal with it. Honestly i think if you're being bullied over the internet then don't get on it, delete people who are asses, or avoid websites or w/e.

I've bullied and been bullied a little myself. I was an awkward kid and sometimes me or my friends would be picked on it as a result. I myself did some bullying after, usually verbal insults, nothing physical (I hope). To be honest, why I bullied others still confuses me. I was able to get over being bullied rather quickly, but the guilt of the memories of being a bully entails is much worse. Gladly, I soon gained a conscious and quit bullying forever. Thankfully, my bullying issues were minor compared to most others. To answer your question, bullying is shit that should not be tolerated by anyone.

bullying and dealing with bullying ain't the same anymore

back when i was growing up, you had your fists... or heavy/sharp objects to beat people with.

dealing with physical bullying...someone pushes you in the hallway, you come back at them by stabbing them in the arm with a pen or smashing a can of coke over their head. Physical bullies stop fucking with you 90% of the time when you show them that you're no pushover.

dealing with mental bullying... someone calls you a ***got cocksucker, you stab them in the arm with a pen or smash a coke can over their head, they'll never bother you again.


most kids are dumb, physical rebutal solves 90% of the problems... because if the kids were intelligent enough to respond to intellectual scolding they wouldn't have commited the offence in the first place.

but now kids can't fight it out, they get expelled
teachers can't touch kids, they'll get fired
teachers can't comment on kids' attitudes, clothing, behaviour, or even FAIL them (thanks, Bush), they'll get fired

Parents have little time for their kids, cuz economy is fucked

so you're left with kids doing whatever the fuck they want with no one giving them shit for it

long gone are the days where a total stranger could beat the shit out of you, bring you home to your parents, where he would get thanked.

too many dumb people in this world... time for WW3

That video enraged me. Shit like that pisses me off. Some parents are just oblivious to what their kids do.

It's not kids either. It's adults too. I'm active duty in the Army and I have been through so many classes on sexual harassment, equal opportunity, and suicide prevention. I volunteer for the suicide prevention classes because of how serious it is to me. People who get to that point feel cornered. Like there's no way out and people are too busy with their own lives to actually take a minute and listen to other peoples' problems and understand what they're feeling. Something that may seem insignificant to you may be the difference between life and death for another human being. The thought of that is crazy.

There's so much people can do to help stop bullying but nobody wants to be "that guy" to step in and intervene because they don't want to become involved. Sometimes, just standing up for somebody can make all the difference in the world. Shit... Sometimes just saying "Hello, how are you" or "Have a great day" can make a difference. The fact is some people just don't give a damn anymore. So many people in society have lost the understand of things as simple as basic common courtesy and it's unbelievable. People are so consumed with meaningless shit that people have forgotten what it means to just be a good human being.

It's sickening sometimes.

I used to be bullied alot when I was younger due to how weird I was (anime freak, nerd, didn't play sports , etc..) and I had alot of self esteem issues. But as I grew older I found out that the people who bullied me shouldn't matter and I became thankful for the people who viewed me as a friend, and as a result of trying new things(sports, journalism, etc) but still keeping my so called "weird" side a part of my identity I earned alot of respect from everyone. It's funny how in my younger years the weird stuff was the reason I was bullied but by embracing it I left a noticeable impact on my community by treating everyone with respect and not being superficial like the "bullies" we're. In all honesty it's the parents fault for letting their kid be undisciplined and not providing enough emotional support for their children. In my area at least the bullies were the kids who had parents/siblings/etc beat them or abuse them in some way , and it's sad that these kids turn out that way due to lack of proper support.

Alot of the bullies end up growing up eventually , and let things go and will generally be friendly in a sense once they get into the real world and realize they aren't the big bad wolf they thought they we're.

Bullying has many levels. Some, fairly harmless that don't cause much lasting damage, but when it gets to a point where real damage is done, kids being extra cruel and relentless, it's sad that those kids can't be give a taste of their own medicine as punishment.

I was bullied as a kid, by this one kid, who bullied a bunch of others as well. He died just out of high school in a construction accident. When I told another friend who was also bullied by that guy that he was killed, my friend yelled out "GOOD! I'm glad the motherfucker is dead".

Parents have a lot of responsibility to keep bullying from happening if they find out their kids are bullying other kids. Unfortunately, a LOT of parents are pieces of shit themselves. How do you think the kids in this video are going to grow up, with parents as absolutely dumb as paint as this? This is where part of the problem lies IMO.

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrpVpVJd-zs"]ATL hood rat gets tasered in front of kids with fitting music - YouTube[/ame]

I lived with some people a long time ago who had kids. They were friends of a couple who'd bring their bully of a kid over, and that kid would bully my roommate's kid badly.

I saw it happen many times, and when I had the chance, when no one was looking, I made that bully kid cry! I did just what he did to my roommate's kid (came up from behind and smacked him upside the head, and acted I tripped and like it was an accident). I made sure to tell him I saw him do the same thing to the other kid, and asked him how it felt. He said he didn't like it, and I said "then don't do it to other kids, now you know how you're making them feel, and if I ever see you bully anyone ever again, there's going to be another "accidental accident".

I also told the parents about it, and later on they came to visit again and told me they knew he was bullying other kids, but he had stopped.

Bullies infuriate me. Most of them too stupid to realize the damage they do.

I have been reading all the responses but have been very busy so never responded. I feel like I have a lot to say however and did start typing up my piece but I have not finished addressing all the points/responses. I will be posting the what I have (the first part) of it tonight when I get home and perhaps a bit more if I have more time.

The problem I see is that American kids are taught to be confident, that they are unique and important and when they fart, a rainbow comes out of their assholes. They never learn that other people are just as special as they are, and everyone should mind one another.

I was born and raised in Vietnam. Bullying was never a problem there. You pick on a kid, that kid tells your parents, and you get your ass beat. I'm not encouraging child abuse by any means, but if a kid acts like a d!ckhole, it's the parents' job to make sure it doesn't happen again. A little smack on the butt goes a long way.

Child-protecting laws are great, but they have too many restrictions on how a child is to be disciplined. Undisciplined kids grow up to be douche bag teenagers, and then d!ckhead adults who don't know how to keep their kids under control. And the problem goes on until the whole society is swarmed with kids bullying one another because they can get away with it.

Sure, I hated it when I was punished as a child, but now I understand that it had to be done. This whole "time-out" and "grounded" bull crap American parents are doing is not effective. Punishments should be harsh enough to scare kids straight, but not so bad that they leave kids mentally scarred and scared of life.

I hope that when you read this post, you take all of it into consideration when you discipline your own kids. In my opinion, I turned out to be a very good person. I'm extremely nice to everybody, all of the time, and when I'm mad or in a bad mood, I keep it to myself and not drag people into my problems. I hope everyone would be more like me, but then again, that's my own opinion, and if you don't like it, I hope this page explains my points better than I can. http://gfys.org

:cheers:

I was the fat kid all through school, for as long as I can remember. On top of that, I was in band (first chair clarinet, snare/quads/drum set) for six years. I got my fair share of teasing and bullying. Thanks to my dad, he helped me turn it around. I mean, yeah establishing dominance by throwing that asshat jock to the ground will "solve" the issue temporarily (and I had at least two instances of that... Being twice their weight helps in that regard...). But the best solution he gave me was to spit it back at them better, funnier, more clever, more witty. Take the upper hand by making fun of yourself before they can make fun of you. Doing that makes their verbal abuse less powerful. Takes the wind completely out of their sails and gets the "crowd" on your side if you can make them laugh.

Got me through high school and college after "kicking someone's ass" wasn't an option anymore. :P

I'm still a big guy, working out to get back into shape, but I can spit back and forth with the best of them and make everyone laugh along the way. I'd like to think I have a great sense of humor and humility and I have my fat ass amd nerdy hobbies to thank.

Here is what I have to say:

Bullying is a funny topic because the word "bullying" is used ubiquitously to describe a whole range of activities. It ranges from simple name-calling to cases of physical assaults on an individual to give them a hard time....to the very extreme cases of systematic and calculated group harassment where the targeted individual is subjected to an extremely hostile environment. Such cases of group harassment are instrumented to cause medical problems such as depression and anxiety disorder. @dem00n this is where I think you are wrong. Although I can understand that you may consider some of the simpler cases to definitely be overblown... that are some very extreme ones that you don't hear about which are meant to destroy an individual and the scars can last a life time if that individual does not get help. I am not talking just about kids in elementary and middle school. Bullying happens in high school, college and the adult world as well. Talking about such controversial issues is always a good idea because different people have experienced different things ( some you may not be aware of) and you learn more about the subject and gain their perspective.

@gixxersixxerma

Yes, things like a 11 year old bullying a 5 year old really amaze me. I mean they are very few things that can be considered more petty than that. a-near adolescent kid picking on a toddler or a kid barely out of that stage. However, it sounds like you have it under control and I am guessing this was not something that was repetitively? I think that kid may have just made a very stupid mistake but either way I think he will think twice before going near your 5 year old again.

I like how you called your own experience as "bullying"... as it never affected you. I mean, yes, we all face adversity in life... but that is not bullying. Bullying actually affects the person and invades their lives. It is an uncomfortable and a very negative experience for them.
@FiRStsc10n

Yes! wow! Believe it or not but i have the same exact views and I thought no one else saw it that way. We spend billions on going after people abroad... when we can't even protect our own kids from these "terrorists". I mean really...what is the difference?

@86 Dreams

Yes I agree... I think a lot of parents have no idea what their kids are up to. However, what is also true is that there are parents who know their kids are pieces of shit..... but they are happy cause so are they.

@NWFRS

Can I know about what you face, how old you are and what you do about it? I am just curious is all.

@LadyFRS

Yes....definitely.... that is not kids being kids.... those are kids stuck in a sick fucked up mentality.

as @n2oinferno stated.... to a point.... things are horseplay and actually kids being kids..... but beyond that.... this is just weird,fucked up bullshit. Parents use that quote most likely to avert responsibility or to realize how terrible of a job they did.

Aslo @n20inferno, I find it HILARIOUS how stupid schools have the deciding factor on how to punish such altercations. There should be one thing and one thing only and that is the police arresting and throwing the bully who assaulted the other kid in juvi. I really can't get my mind around how on fuking earth people don't already see that.

Yeah, I had a 6th grader bully with me and my two friends as second graders. One day, we got the upper hand, tackled him, and my elbow snapped his forearm like a twig, both bones. His wrist was parallel, but no longer in line with the rest. Not because I think that's cool, but because he deserved it. Early Karma lesson for that one.

I'm 33 now and grew up as a military child, and before middle school I was a small kid, and everytime my dad changed duty station, in my new school I always had to fight the biggest, dumbest bully, there was.

It was expected, my dad taught me how to handle bullies at a young age. And he told me If I ever bullied people that he'd come looking for me, and if I was being bullied he wouldn't let me in the house until I whooped that bullies ass.

This stopped in middle school when I got bigger and I was no longer a target of bullies, maybe it was how I carried myself, which exuded, "come fuck with me, I'll whoop yer ass" as fighting grew as a part of my culture and became normal.

Back in the day, you stood up to them and it stopped, but now with all the social media, it seems they can just bombard you mentally and psychologically until you break. I'm glad I grew up in the era I did. I don't fuck with facebook and all that bullshit either, the younger generation bullies have more tools and mediums to bully with.

Don't go to your high school reunion...you have nothing to prove to these people. They don't matter. As a grown up you can choose the company you keep now so don't choose them.

Everyone in my middle and high schools was pretty nice in retrospect. No real bullies that I can remember. A few kids that were teased occasionally but very little bullying. I remember having a few "friends" that were assholes, but I don't know if I'd call them bullies. Just assholes. :lol:

I think I was lucky though. My school seems like an exception. Even the popular kids were pretty friendly with everyone.

- Andy

I went to a Jesuit, all male high school. It was extremely competitive in sports, academics, you name it

We had a motto at our school, "Men For Others", and if you saw someone being bullied, you were expected to help that person out and find a way to prevent it from happening again. Also, we worked it out on the field (football +1), etc..

My high school never had major issues with bullying, and although people were hard on me, it toughened me up and prepared me for real-life situations. I preferred the old-school style of my high-school to the new-aged / sue-happy public school ideals.

When I was in public school, (K-8th grade), they didn't do anything about bullying until someone needed to be punished or there was a fight.

I think parenting is one of the biggest factors in bullying as well. Some parents are under the impression that their kids are perfect angels and never do anything wrong, but they are schmucks when adults aren't around. The "eddie haskell" kids..

Anyways, parents should teach their kids to step up to bullies, not through physical violence, but to work it out like adults. If it continues, then the parents should force them to work it out and put their differences aside.

It is a real problem, and it can ruin lives IMO

That's my .02

Nick C.

What do you do when you have kids and parents like the ones in the video I posted earlier?

Have your dad kick the shit out of the bullies dad, BAM.

I was a fat kid, got bullied and made fun of. I went to the gym, lost weight and got girls...simple. I think we live in a world were people don't have thick skin and cant take confrontation. I hate to say it but people are weak now and if you cant take getting made fun of without having to see a therapist My mom told me if I get made fun of, punch the dude in the face..shit worked pretty well...sometimes kids need to learn to settle things the old school way.

taser the shit out of em? lol call the cops. they certainly dont seem like people that will get very far in life... unless they have boat loads of drug money. they seem kind of stupid so...

GSP used to be bullied..... look at him now
bully's are just insecure about themselves and need to put someone else down to make themselves feel better.

Man,I wish.
I would've loved to just kick the shit out of my bullies, but nowadays, if you look at a kid wrong,you could be sued. (And all those stories of kids standing up to bullies and getting expelled)
I feel we're moving into the wrong direction.

Bravo though for losing the weight. :cheers:

Who is GSP?

And yes I agree. In my experience most bullies are cowardly and petty. I was going to write another post about it later.