Love Love Love
 

I'm posting this on here because no one here knows who i am IRL and i don't really have anyone to talk to about these things because im a guy and i don't talk about my feelings, except to the person that i'm referring to and i can't talk to her about this obviously. I'm gonna keep it short as possible and most of the details out for privacy purposes. So about 2 years ago i notice this girl that caught my eye, i mean really really caught my eye. It was something that i've never felt before, it was something in my heart that said i HAD to talk to her and she was meant to be in my life. I know a lot of people will claim that this is just a crush, but i was almost certain it was something more and it's hard to prove or explain if you've never experienced it before. During that time i was going through some real hard emotional times because of the bitter taste my last relationship left me in, i was literally ready to give up on people and the world all together. About 4-5 months after i notice her, i finally found the courage to approach, and my god, she was the nicest, most selfless, and amazing person i've ever met. I think the second time i talked to her she mentioned that she had a boyfriend, but i didn't care because i just wanted to get to know her and was absolutely fine with being just friends with her, plus i'm not one to pry a relationship. I found out later that her BF actually goes to some no name college like 5 states away (i've always wondered about this) I also discover that she is a very religious person, this usually is a red flag for me, but it didn't stop me from continuing to be completely infatuated by her. A few weeks after hanging out with her at work we exchange numbers and begin texting about bs 3-5 times a week. There was never really anything inappropriate going on between her and i, but we did become pretty good friends. She literally saved me when i was on the brink of self destruction from the hate i had built up inside me, and she gained my full trust 100x faster than anyone i've known. There is about 3 people i fully trust in my life and it isn't really emotional trust either, plus i've known them for 14-18 years. I think the fact that she was so good really threw me off, because gorgeous girls are suppose to be self centered and materialistic to some degree. Hell, even normal people aren't suppose to be that nice and good. Well, up until about a couple of months ago her and i started talking less and less. Which i understand and i'm trying my best to let her go, but it feels impossible to do. She is the only person in my life that i have ever loved unconditionally, and all i want for her is happiness, regardless of how she feels about me. I know everyone has a their own idea of what love is, but i truly think this was it. Every time i imagine myself with someone else, she pops up in my mind and i can't stop thinking about her. So my question is not WHAT should i do, but where do i go from here? How do i get over her? WILL i ever get over her? For those with similar stories or have advice i would like to hear it. For those who are gonna troll me idc, because my identity is hidden on the interweb :)

TL;DR - Loves a girl already in a relationship. Will never do anything immoral. Would like to let her go. Need advice. And no, hooking up with girls don't make it go away.

Long distance college relationships don't last.

She probably has feelings for you too.

Just continue to be close to her and be her friend and things will eventually work out.

You're never safe on the internet, they're watching :hitcomputer:

Same thing happened to me. Fell in love with a girl but she went to school really far away, and we lost in touch. Still think about her a lot but what can you do except to move on.

Be a friend but be the best friend. Women tend to fling around the college years dating wise. The best friend though is the guy they usually the one they live with after all the crazy goes away

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Hang in there, bud.
All the friend zone stuff you hear about is bs. Yes, it happens to some guys but the internet has blown it out of proportion.
Just stay by her side and be her best friend, and let her be your best friend, and someday, she'll see you're the only one who's been taking steps with her side-by-side, and guess who she'll want to be with when she realizes that? You.
Don't force yourself to move on from her if she hasn't given you a reason to do so.

I love this forum, everyone is so damn nice!!!

Really what they say is true and all you really can do, just try to keep those feelings set aside for when the time may come. It's been proven the more you attempt to move on or forget someone the more they pop into your head. You just need to relax and not stress yourself out otherwise the stress could do harm to your body.. We're pretty complicated creatures! Lol just be calm and keep occupied with other things and don't keep your emotions on hold for her, for all you know it's just an infatuation and the one you're meant to be with May get passed up because you're too focused on what could be instead of the now. It may hurt but you will be fine, just hang in there.
:]

Plus 1 on women are complicated creatures e_e lol

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What he said :clap:

Lmao my bad, I'll shoosh.

Not necessarily a bad thing, just hard for us guys to understand. You dint exactly come with a Haynes "fix the issue and what her feelings for you are" owner repair manual lol

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Women aren't all that complicated, in the end all they want is security and love in their relationship, and to be desired by their partner. You give a woman those things and she will repay you back 10x.

My bad, I thought it was a "what should I do for me" kinda question. To be fair it's a tough thing to help with but my main point was to not stress over it, if he thinks it's a lost cause because she's drifting all he can do is be there as a friend and hopefully she'll get her shit together! If not, he'll just be doing himself harm with stress.. Stress is like illness for your body and no one needs that!

Or if he wants to go the ballsy way and risk making their friendship awkward he could just talk to her about it..

This guy... I like this guy. Lol

I was more or less speaking about the ones that don't dint tell you what's on their mind and always seem to go both directions when it comes time to choose.

I know not everyone is the same and is wrong to generalize.. so for that I.am sorry

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Those are girls. You don't want to date a girl, you want to date a woman.

Most females my age are still." Girls" lol.



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I am going to go against the grain, you are just the fill in guy while her bf is away. Nothing wrong with that if you are just friends.

Reminds me of should'a, could'a, would'a. Instead of waiting for what might happen, pose the question directly to her. What will happen I don't know but something will and someday down the road you won't regret not clearing the air.

My current fiance and I made it 9 months while she went to go do gymnastics for college in Fullerton CA while im way over in Jacksonville FL. It went smooth as hell thanks to Skype and I even flew out halfway through for 4 days. My biggest regret was not going to see West Coast Customs which was only 12 miles away from where she was staying lol. She came back and weve been living together 3 years without a problem.

You need to let her know your feelings. Nothing wrong with that, see how she reacts and what she thinks. Maybe she only has the other boyfriend because she doesn't know anybody else she would like to hang with but maybe that person is now you.
A relationship that is meant to last is based on honesty and trust. Nothing wrong with telling her that you are trying not to break up what she already has but that you have feelings for her, should be known to her.
Saying nothing might just leave you with the same.
But, what the hell do I know since I've been married for almost 40 years now and I might have forgotten some of the basics of dating.

When the time comes, you're gonna have to man up and tell her how you feel about her. Be smart about it. Don't go through life in regretting on not knowing about "if." That will eat you up and linger in the deep pit of your soul.
If she's everything you say she is, then she'll either accept it or decline.... but with dignity and respect to keep a friendship because its that much of an importance for her as it to you. Take all that as my simple humble opinion. Good luck. :thumbsup:

paragraphs or get the fuck out

didn't read your wall of text, but remember she's already got one ***** she doesn't need you being one too

Thanks for the input ya'll, I suppose i was one promise too late. I will continue our friendship and just be there to catch her if she ever falls. Mean while i'll do my best to continue living my life and go where ever it takes me.

Don't worry there are plenty girls out there, someone told me that before and I never believe them. But now I know that this is true, the first step is to get over it by talking to as many girls. Just continuing doing what you do and one day someone will fall for you. Hope this helps.

Don't listen to @Kelbyat07 he knows nothing I say!! Lol

Whatever you do don't go out LOOKING for someone, it doesn't work that way. Just gotta be yourself and hang out with friends and meet people naturally. Whenever you try to find someone it usually never works out..

The dude is a teenager.

lol I didn't mean go look for another girl, I meant talk to girls. Talking to other girls will keep your mind away from thinking about that certain person and it will give you boost of confidence that there are many girls out there. Anyone who goes out there and finds a relationship after a recent bad relationship is just asking for another heart break...

Lol I know, I was just screwing with you. We haven't talked in forever ya turd I gotta give you shit from time to time!

He doesn't seem like the type to go out and flirt with a bunch of girls, I could be wrong but I won't lie.. It kinda helps ease the bummy feeling.

With more experience.

That's my plan, besides i stated in my OP that meeting/hooking up with girls isn't gonna make it better. I've met a lot of people in my life, and she really is a girl that really only comes around once in a lifetime. However, perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

With what?

Yessir, you know the deal and I'm sure you'll find someone who will treat you amazingly and make you feel this way again, if not her. You seem sweet enough! :p

I know, he thinks he's all "high and mighty" and shit. Lol

Wanna know a legendary move to pick up girls? When you see a hot girl do an ebrake turn. Its been proven 100% on top gear.

Side note: if you ebrake into something it kills the lady boner immediately.
Haha

I'm living proof that LDR can work. 'Course, mine wasn't college. It was a random paths crossing on the internet thing. No dating sites, neither of us looking. It started with a random comment that she, a stranger, left on a blog I had back in the day. Got to know her for several months and then went to visit. We spent two years apart with me flying down as often as my budget allowed, which when working part time in retail isn't a whole lot at all. After what seemed like an eternity I moved to the south, we got an apartment near her college, and we lived together for four years until I finally asked her to marry me. Been married for five years now, have a kid with a second due next month. Life's absolutely wonderful, to put it bluntly.

It takes a lot of trust and a lot of communication. And there were times I was sure it was going to fail. But I persevered more than I ever have before and it worked out for us.

OP, the best advice I can give you is hang in there. If you can stand being around her, be her friend. I know how much that can suck and hurt, but better to see her happy than not see her at all, sometimes. If you can't, don't do it. Don't torture yourself pining for an unlikely situation. There are plenty of women out there, and even though your heart may say they're not "the one," they're not this girl you have in front of you, there's no justifiable way you can ever know that. Because you haven't even met her yet. Not looking seems to be the best way to bump into them.

The differing beliefs is the biggest red flag, imo. I have a little experience with that and it's a great way to destroy a relationship.

I know a dude that was in a long distance. He lived in cali and she was in japan for like a year or two in college. They were both highschool sweet hearts lol