Random Thoughts - Part Deux [NO POLITICS]

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by Sarlacc

No, but I'm sure she would appreciate me making efforts to hide what an egocentric and insufferable asshole I really am. I've become quite good at it

Well played ........


humfrz

[cdrazic93]

Originally Posted by Tcoat

What id the context of the group? Friends? Coworkers? The joke may not go over well with the wrong group.

Originally Posted by humfrz

Sorry, I can't help you ...... I can't remember back that far as to what would have been funny ......


humfrz

Friends group, got rid of the lovers idea. Im going with get a box of life cereal, put my gift in it, then put lemons over it so it looks like when life gives you lemons...

[Ultramaroon]

Originally Posted by Sarlacc

No, but I'm sure she would appreciate me making efforts to hide what an egocentric and insufferable asshole I really am. I've become quite good at it

Managed manager manages managerially.

[Sarlacc]

Originally Posted by Ultramaroon

Managed manager manages managerially.

Yup, that's me. Present and accounted for.

Thinking back on my consulting career it looks like a long, tedious and continuous game of Bullshit Bingo.


Example of 100% proof bullshit. Of the very, very expensive variety. If you're buying it. If you are the consultants with the gold leaf business cards, it's very profitable bullshit.

[cjd]

The illustration is wrong for "Project Execution" - or that's a very funny looking guillotine.

I like Agile so much better: no one cares when projects are abandoned. Indeed, they aren't even abandoned any more; they adapt and update their requirements to the ever changing whims of "how best to line stock-holder's pockets with money while stiffing employees." Evidently the double entendre in that last part isn't quite so fashionable these days though.

I have yet to find a place to exchange all the cynicism and sarcasm I've gathered over the years for cash, as promised... I think it may have been a dirty manager trick.

C

[krayzie]

Originally Posted by cjd

I like Agile so much better: no one cares when projects are abandoned. Indeed, they aren't even abandoned any more; they adapt and update their requirements to the ever changing whims of "how best to line stock-holder's pockets with money while stiffing employees."

Funny they actually gave it a name these days, basically same shit repackaged with a different wrapping and bow.

[Sarlacc]

Originally Posted by cjd

The illustration is wrong for "Project Execution" - or that's a very funny looking guillotine.

Good point
Also note that "Project Execution" does not mention actually producing or manufacturing anything real at all.

Originally Posted by cjd

I like Agile so much better: no one cares when projects are abandoned. Indeed, they aren't even abandoned any more; they adapt and update their requirements to the ever changing whims of "how best to line stock-holder's pockets with money while stiffing employees." Evidently the double entendre in that last part isn't quite so fashionable these days though.

I have yet to find a place to exchange all the cynicism and sarcasm I've gathered over the years for cash, as promised... I think it may have been a dirty manager trick.

C

I like agile too. ( I'm a Certified Scrum Bullshitter.)
Agile can be hard to sell, though. "We don't know what we're going to make, what it will cost or when it will be done, but we think it will be very good!"
It's much easier to produce a few hundred pages of technobabble with a hard-to-read price tag, get a signature on it and have the merry band of lawyers ready for the first missed deadline.

[humfrz]

After seven years as a product manager in a corporate HQ with one company, director of marketing for another company, manager of new business development for another company and several years as a consultant ........ I'm glad I'm done with all that bull shit stuff ......

Now, all I have to plan for is what time school starts, what after school activities do I have to take the grandchildren to, do we have enough diapers on hand for the toddler and make sure the toddler doesn't doze off during the morning, so she will nap well with me while I'm taking my afternoon nap ......


pa-pa humfrz

[Sarlacc]

Originally Posted by humfrz

After seven years as a product manager in a corporate HQ with one company, director of marketing for another company, manager of new business development for another company and several years as a consultant ........ I'm glad I'm done with all that bull shit stuff ......

Now, all I have to plan for is what time school starts, what after school activities do I have to take the grandchildren to, do we have enough diapers on hand for the toddler and make sure the toddler doesn't doze off during the morning, so she will nap well with me while I'm taking my afternoon nap ......


pa-pa humfrz

I'm guessing you are being called a saint on a daily basis :-) And well deserved, too :-)

[cjd]

Somehow I'm feeling both excited and miserable to be traveling for work right now. On my way to Bellevue. Whee.

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by Sarlacc

I'm guessing you are being called a saint on a daily basis :-) And well deserved, too :-)

Well, ma-ma and I do enjoy our granddaughters ........

(most of the time) .....


humfrz

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by cjd

Somehow I'm feeling both excited and miserable to be traveling for work right now. On my way to Bellevue. Whee.

Bellevue WA.. ?? If so, I hope you brought your rain gear ......


humfrz

[cjd]

Originally Posted by humfrz

Bellevue WA.. ?? If so, I hope you brought your rain gear ......


humfrz

Oh yes, full rain suit and no silly umbrella. It's 60 and sunny in Chicago.

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by cjd

Oh yes, full rain suit and no silly umbrella. It's 60 and sunny in Chicago.

Good thought NOT to bring an umbrella. An umbrella would peg you as an out of towner for sure. The natives in these parts don't use umbrellas ...... they just walk around in the rain ...... they don't have sense enough to get in out of the rain. They wear shorts and flip-flops the year around .......

Which reminds me of a story about umbrellas and Chicago.

( @Tcoat may wish to check this story ..... to see if I've told it before ..... )

For a year I worked in Chicago at IITRI (Illinois Institute of Technology Research Institute). Yep, not in one of the better parts of town.

The entrance had two armed guards at all times and the entrance/lobby had bullet proof glass. So, when I left from work, I could be escorted to the train station platform (about a half block away), if I asked for it. Of course, I didn't because I was an Army trained killer.

However, I would carry a folding umbrella (would fold to about the size of a billy club or handgun) in the pocket of my rain/over coat, and always kept my hand in my pocket. Now, thugs, guess what I have in my pocket ......

More than once I was asked by the policeman on the train platform what I had in my pocket ??....... Once I got on the train to my hotel downtown, I was fairly safe ...... as long as I stayed inside the loop.

Yep, wearing a suit, carrying a briefcase and an overnight bag, in Chicago .... could be exciting .......


THE END


humfrz