Random Thoughts - Part Deux [NO POLITICS]

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by MrFisty

What sort of music did you want to play?

Country Western ....... of course .......


humfrz

[Brink]

Originally Posted by ichitaka05

While driving to work, waiting to turn left. I thought I could make it before on-coming truck. With mid 50 temp & winter tires, I can't get enough track to go forward. Good news is I didn't tbone nor hit the truck. But yeah... I was the idiot crazy driver this morning lol

Originally Posted by Spuds

Wrong thread!
http://www.ft86club.com/forums/showthread.php?t=124682

There is precedent.

[Ultramaroon]

Originally Posted by Brink

There is precedent.

Yeah but it's ichi. We can't fix him.

[Cole]

Have been writing a short story about how video games saved my life. Has made me realize I'm a fucking awful writer, as it comes out more as verbal diarrhea than anything else.

Have been making myself do it, since my therapist thinks that I need a more creative (read: positive) outlet than shit posting on here. Anyone notice how much less negative I've been as of late?

Sessions must be paying off.

[Ultramaroon]

Originally Posted by Cole

Anyone notice how much less negative I've been as of late?

Actually, yes. I've noticed.

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by Cole

Anyone notice how much less negative I've been as of late?

Yes. That's good ......

I just thought it's because you've been posting less ......


humfrz

[humfrz]

Well, I just opened a package (belated birthday gift) from my youngest son, who is stationed at the American Embassy in Bogota, Columbia.

It is a strange assortment of things to eat or drink (like coffee).

One of the items was a box of these. I looked them up to make sure he wasn't ah messen wich me. I reckon they are "real" ....

No, although his "business" down there is tracking illegal drug goings ons ......the box didn't contain any cocaine ......

Has anyone on here ever eaten any of these things .....??


humfrz

[Teseo]

Well... rip Stephen Hawking

[Brink]

Originally Posted by Teseo

Well... rip Stephen Hawking

[Ultramaroon]

Godspeed, Dr. Hawking.

[spike021]

Originally Posted by humfrz

Well, I just opened a package (belated birthday gift) from my youngest son, who is stationed at the American Embassy in Bogota, Columbia.

It is a strange assortment of things to eat or drink (like coffee).

One of the items was a box of these. I looked them up to make sure he wasn't ah messen wich me. I reckon they are "real" ....

No, although his "business" down there is tracking illegal drug goings ons ......the box didn't contain any cocaine ......

Has anyone on here ever eaten any of these things .....??


humfrz

He knows you need the extra protein

[Cole]

Originally Posted by Ultramaroon

Actually, yes. I've noticed.

Originally Posted by humfrz

Yes. That's good ......

I just thought it's because you've been posting less ......


humfrz

Have been considering doing a copypasta on here of what I've written down so far. But its extremely personal, and I was in tears while writing it for the most part. So I'm not sure I'm totally ready to share it with the open public, might just go to a select few (only the FT86Club elite, of course) to get some feedback on how I can better organize it before I put it up in RT.

Its been a pretty painful process, and I kind of dread adding to it when I feel like writing. Battling mental health and addiction problems in real life is a lot less... Glamourous, I guess, than what TV and movies make it out to be. Its extremely liberating, but it's a lot of pain to relive when I put pen to paper, so to speak.

Its a really good outlet for me, but it's pretty raw and kind of embarrassing. My girlfriend saw me working on it and I couldn't even come clean with her about it. Though, I think it's more to do with how horrible of a writer I am than what I've been through. I've barely even shared anything of my struggles with my friends until recently.

The good news is, I'm feeling better and stronger than I have in years. It took a long time for me to realize that is ok to be hurting, despite me trying to champion mental well being during my time in the military to get rid of the stigma of combat stress reactions, ptsd, depression, etc. It really only took two close friends from the military taking their own lives to realize I had to do something about my own well being before I ended up taking my own life too.

Sorry for the heavy post, but it just feels good to admit that I haven't been alright for a long while and being on the road to recovery is a really big step for me in life.

[humfrz]

Originally Posted by Cole

...............Sorry for the heavy post, but it just feels good to admit that I haven't been alright for a long while and being on the road to recovery is a really big step for me in life.

Well, Cole, it's good that you're coming to grips with what has been bothering you.

I remember about 25 years ago, when I was going through the twelve step program of AA.

I found steps 4 & 5 the most difficult for me. they are:

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

It sounds like you are going through step four.

I'll never forget going through step 5. Two people were present ..... it lasted about 5 hours.

One of the folks present was a nice lady that was leading me through the steps and the other person was my sponsor. Between the two of them, they had about 50 years of sobriety.

A lot of what I had to "admit" even startled them........

Although it was tough to "fess up", it was very rewarding and allowed me to continue with the other steps of the program.

I wish you well in your recovery.

If there is anything I can do, just PM or e-mail or call.

Sincerely,


humfrz

[Cole]

Originally Posted by humfrz

Well, Cole, it's good that you're coming to grips with what has been bothering you.

I remember about 25 years ago, when I was going through the twelve step program of AA.

I found steps 4 & 5 the most difficult for me. they are:

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

It sounds like you are going through step four.

I'll never forget going through step 5. Two people were present ..... it lasted about 5 hours.

One of the folks present was a nice lady that was leading me through the steps and the other person was my sponsor. Between the two of them, they had about 50 years of sobriety.

A lot of what I had to "admit" even startled them........

Although it was tough to "fess up", it was very rewarding and allowed me to continue with the other steps of the program.

I wish you well in your recovery.

If there is anything I can do, just PM or e-mail

Sincerely,


humfrz

Thanks hum! But, for your own privacy, you should edit your post to remove your personal details. You really should be limiting the amount of weirdos who can contact you

I've copied your stuff down, I'll be in touch

I've found that so far, the hardest thing has been admitting to myself that things aren't great for me. Luckily I've had a lot of time so far this winter to do some serious soul searching.

For the past couple weeks, I've been trying to get the courage up to come clean with my parents about everything. I'm so scared about breaking my mom's heart once she hears everything and I don't want my dad to feel like I can't level with him.

It's going to be a hard go when I tell them...