My Dad is going to destroy my clutch. Please help!

[steeloyangster]

This past Sunday my father decided to take my '14 Scion FRS to church while I was at work. I didn't know he was planning on taking my car that day but I did mention to him earlier in the week that if he needed to then he can feel free to take any of my cars if he wants to run errands. He's an older man now kind of set in his ways and owns a truck that is also a manual.

While at work I received a call that he didn't know how to engage it into reverse gear and that I needed to call him/text him. He's a rather busy individual so I never got the chance to show him how to lift up on the reverse gear lockout. He eventually figured it out and when I got the chance to call him back he said he made it back home okay.

When I got home I double checked the car to make sure he didn't park next to a minivan and someone decided to sling open the door into the car. Thankfully the car was still as beautiful as I remembered her. But then I thought to check the dashcam to see how bad of an ordeal he must have had trying to force the gear selector into reverse. It wasn't so bad so I continued watching some more footage.

While watching I started to cringe as I heard him riding the clutch at stop lights/stop signs. Getting on the accelerator way earlier before fully letting out the clutch and just hearing it slip as the car's speed caught up with the engine's. Balancing the clutch and accelerator at a slight incline with the engine RPM's sitting at about 2K and watching as the car moved forward and backward as he constantly adjusted his clutch position. I wanted to cry for the clutch on my first brand new car.

What I wanted to do was get him to ride shotgun so that I can explain to him that the things that he is doing wrong and show him the correct ways of driving her. Such as leaving it in neutral at a stop and then shifting into gear as you anticipate the green light and only accelerating while shifting AFTER you have fully released the clutch pedal. But him being the old man that he is will probably just get extremely offended and throw my car keys back at me. I can imagine him saying things like "I've driven cars longer than you've been alive! I know what I'm doing! Don't tell me how to drive a car!"

I haven't always had a great relationship with my father but lately we've been able to bond a little more than we've ever had. I don't want to make him feel like I'm just being selfish with my cars and don't want him to drive them. I own a WRX and an FRS and consider myself a huge automotive enthusiast and although he doesn't share the same passion as I do about cars he can understand it. He knows how much I wash and clean my cars and even helped me cover my cars when we had a Hail storm come by a couple weeks ago. He knows I love my cars and I know he would only respect my cars as much as I do. But I don't know how to break it to him that he's been driving manual transmissions wrong.

I've considered just sneaking the spare keys away from his key ring to avoid any sort of full frontal confrontation but that's a total **** move. Another idea was to also just mention to him that I'm doing things to it and it's unsafe to drive but I'm not sure how many excuses I can come up with and for how long. I'm also not sure of how I can tell him how I know about his driving style. I don't want him to think I was eaves dropping by viewing the dashcam footage (although I totally did.) I guess I could just let it go and when the clutch fucks up I can just replace it over and over again and just act like everything's okay.

Please help me guys.

TL;DR - Dad drives my car bad and I don't know how to tell him. Please help me save my relationship with my dad and most importantly help me save my FRS's clutch!

[WhiteFRS69]

is the car in your name... or your fathers name????

[steeloyangster]

Originally Posted by WhiteFRS69

is the car in your name... or your fathers name????

It's my car with only my name on it.

[DAEMANO]

Take him for more drives together. Talk about techniques YOU learned to improve your shifting. Don't ever talk about how HE shifts. Just talk about the techniques you use. Talk about your failings and lessons learned. He will either open up about his shifting or improve from what you talked about learning. Don't get into a fight or a bad trust situation over a clutch. It's just a car. Your relationship is more important.

[jvincent]

Originally Posted by steeloyangster

TL;DR - Dad drives my car bad and I don't know how to tell him. Please help me save my relationship with my dad and most importantly help me save my FRS's clutch!

Put a performance clutch on your Christmas/birthday list.

[steeloyangster]

Originally Posted by jvincent

Put a performance clutch on your Christmas/birthday list.

Haha, I'm a grown ass 30 year old man now and haven't received a Christmas present from anyone (Other than from myself) for ~15 or so years. I have considered getting a high performance clutch but don't want to sacrifice the daily drive-ability with a heavier clutch. (Sometimes I get stuck in traffic.)

[Packofcrows]

Teach him. Guide him.

[Tcoat]

Move out?


Edited for new info


Kick him out!
Just joking.


Just let him drive and replace the clutch if you need too.

[sprintertrueno86]

Should've bought an auto.





























jk

[strat61caster]

Why are you all assuming the old man can't drive and not that OP is overly picky?

First time driving someone's car I'd rather slip the clutch a bit instead of stalling in a precarious situation possibly causing an accident. And I'm pretty positive it wouldn't be pretty either, OP probably jerked the car around a bit when he first got in it too, this transmission is one of the least friendly units I've driven when it comes to smoothness (especially with the light low feedback clutch pedal and the drive by wire throttle).

Not to mention clutches are MEANT to be slipped, they are wear items and are designed to be replaced. Without seeing the video I won't start linking conflict resolution guides, I'd let it go and look forward to replacing the clutch in the car together as a project.
Edit: Unless of course it is a repeat thing, Dad doesn't improve and clearly needs help.

There are cars that get beat on mercilessly and have clutches live longer than 100k miles, like cars used for drivers ed or racing schools.

There's this weird stigma that an hour or two of smelling burning clutch is going to result in a black mark on the car's permanent record and $1,500 out of pocket when it's really just a day out of your weekend, some dirt under your fingernails, <$500 and some memories with a buddy or two.

Edit: for the record I've done everything OP listed at least once if not multiple times including dozens if not hundreds of stalls (I fucking stalled it pulling into my driveway last night in a moment of derp) and dozens of autox launches >5k rpm dumping the clutch, at 40k miles my car runs better than the day I got it.

[LucidMomentum]

My parents hate my car. It's too fast, too small, and too flashy.

[MokSpeed]

You could always....take the keys away?

[Brndn704]

Originally Posted by steeloyangster

Haha, I'm a grown ass 30 year old man now and haven't received a Christmas present from anyone (Other than from myself) for ~15 or so years. I have considered getting a high performance clutch but don't want to sacrifice the daily drive-ability with a heavier clutch. (Sometimes I get stuck in traffic.)

You're 30 and still live with your dad? ......

[Koa]

Show a sign of maturity and have a conversation about it with him.

Or you know, continue to make weird ass posts to a bunch of dudes on the internet about how you're scared to talk to your father