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Old 08-02-2019, 08:21 AM   #15
He who smelt it...
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I have clocked over a million miles on the road and have seen hundreds of weird and wonderful things.
My very favourite ever was a live chicken clinging to the top of the cages on a truck while it was doing 75 mph down the highway. He was all hunched down with his head stuck way out as if riding a fast bike. Followed that thing for miles laughing my ass off and yelling "HANG IN THERE BUDDY". He made it to the off ramp so I have to assume he survived the trip and very possibly escaped death by decapitation and nugget press.
Racecar spelled backwards is Racecar, because Racecar.
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Old 08-02-2019, 12:40 PM   #16
Geo Tyrebighter Esq
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"I gotta rock." -- Charley Brown
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Old 08-02-2019, 10:42 PM   #17
Your Mom is my Dad
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This is a kind of a Florida man story. Not sure if I am Florida man or the other guy is though here. I was in the work van in left lane driving in a 6 lane highway when we coming up where our three lanes condensed down
into 2 due to work being done ahead right before a light. Usually normal people in the left lane will begin to zipper in and normal people let them in.

So a non-normal person to my right(middle lane) decides just as I zippered in to speed up and jump in front of me and slam on the breaks. So with a trailer in tow and slowing down coming up to the light along with this maneuver by moron,
I was either going to slam into his rear-end or have to jump back out into the left lane where cones where at.

I quickly jerked the wheel and almost clipped him and then not wanting to hit into the workers/equipment all in the left lane, I pushed back into the middle lane. Except my trailer did clip this time and rip his whole front
bumper off and a few other things. I say a few other things because this car was literally held together by duct tape and bungee joke. I knew he did it on purpose and was super pissed and he knew he did it on purpose.

So as far as I was concerned we both essentially made an unspoken agreement in whatever happened there, it was his fault. My trailer of course is perfectly fine since the tire did the shredding on his trash car. So I just figured that was that.
I guess he forgot our unspoken agreement and came running up when we stopped at the light(dressed in women's clothing and makeup) and said I had hit him and I need to pull over. I said "I didn't hit you" and the light turned green and drove off.
I didn't have a dash cam but if I did I might have just waited around and made this clown look stupid but I don't so I figured meh.

And the best part is later that night the State police came by since he grabbed my plate number and asked what happened. I said I had no such incident occur and without any damage at all(not even a scuff on the tire), there was nothing except this psychos story about his car falling apart to go off of. Pretty sure the trooper knew what actually happened but after him telling me this guy had similar incidents happen to him before he understood what really happened but wasn't letting him get away with it again.

Actually maybe really the best part was that when after I got home from work that day and before the trooper arrived I realized I had sitting in the bed of my trailer the perfectly intact side side fender garnish from his car, an old Saturn.
It looked like it was actually off of a 80's Buick and probably glued on there, this car was after all pieced together and held with those duct tape and bungee cords. So now I have a cool memento I have hanging in the van to remember the whole incident by.
I did look into his arrest record later that night since the trooper gave me his info and realized the whole looking for accidents thing was just a small part of who this guy is and what he gets arrested for. For real, this guy WAS Florida man you all hear about.
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