My Dad is going to destroy my clutch. Please help!

[steeloyangster]

Originally Posted by soulreapersteve

Must be an Asian thing (I'm Asian also).

Too prideful or whatever lol

I'm sure it's just a cultural thing. Stone cold Asian men. Nothing is sentimental to them and showing emotion is embarrassing.

[steeloyangster]

Originally Posted by GeoFRS

Well I definitely didn't know there was so many Asians in this forum haha. I just read your story and I'm glad you guys sorted everything out! Maybe he was meant to be driving the WRX after all?

Haha, nah, he's meant to be driving his truck. My wife and I were planning on getting him some sort of a small SUV of some sort like a CR-V or RAV 4. I was doing some digging today on maybe a Mazda CX-5 but he said that he's never liked Mazdas.

[soulreapersteve]

Originally Posted by steeloyangster

Haha, nah, he's meant to be driving his truck. My wife and I were planning on getting him some sort of a small SUV of some sort like a CR-V or RAV 4. I was doing some digging today on maybe a Mazda CX-5 but he said that he's never liked Mazdas.

Weird... my dad also doesn't like Mazdas.

Get that Rav 4. A lot of the Asians here love that thing, including my mom.

[paulca]

I've said it before, I'll say it again. A lot of you are so hyper-sensitive about your clutches. It's probably as in the US 90% of people drive auto and only petrol heads drive manual. Manual is like a special thing and you feel you need to learn every little tiny detail about how to save the clutch and baby the clutch.

Over here 90% people drive manuals and very few people give a F. Clutches last a LONG time even when beat on. I'm not going to provide estimated life in miles as it really depends on what those miles are. A single clutch will last millions of miles on a freeway, but burn out in a few tens of thousands if all you do is drive in stop and go traffic up steep hills.

The only time you should be worried is delivering high torque through the clutch (such as launches and clutch dumps) or obvious prolonged careless beating on it.

By the way. Sitting on the clutch on a hill at lights and rocking the car forwards and back IS the best way to learn the bite point. Granted 1k rpm is probably better, but while learning 1k is too easy to stall, 2k isn't that bad. Half a minute isn't going to remove much off your clutch life.

Also, if you want to learn to drive "stick" properly, DONT sit on the brake and then pedal dance to move off on a hill, this is retarded. The "fever lever" is NOT, repeat NOT an emergency brake. It's a "hand brake". It's job, asides as a parking brake, is to secure the car so you can use the clutch and accelerator without needing 3 feet and the brake as well. Sit on the brake on a hill here and you would fail your driving test.

[Teseo]

Originally Posted by steeloyangster

I'm sure it's just a cultural thing. Stone cold Asian men. Nothing is sentimental to them and showing emotion is embarrassing.

To me they are stoic. I had a asian girlfriend and when met her father, shake hands and gave him a hug and his face was "the fuck you did". I like asian antique says and lifestyle

[chaoskaze]

Maybe it is Asian culture?.... The amount of time my dad talked to me during my whole life is about 1 week with my mom.

[soulreapersteve]

Originally Posted by chaoskaze

Maybe it is Asian culture?.... The amount of time my dad talked to me during my whole life is about 1 week with my mom.

My dad is the strong and silent type, at least with me. When he needs to say something, its scary.

Not so much anymore since he has seen how far I've come in a short time span. Ever since I got the car, he has talked to me more lol

[Brndn704]

Originally Posted by steeloyangster

Damn, you guys are harsh! Do keep in mind that people have different living circumstances and try not to jump to conclusions about those. I own my own house and my mother passed away a few years ago. My father was living on his own with my little brother but then recently had a stroke so my wife and I invited him to come live with us. We finished paying for our mortgage last year and we currently don't have any children so far and it's nice to have a two income household.

My father's really old school and we never really got along. But in his old age he is growing more patient but still very set in his ways. I was planning on the "Guys night out" while passively showing him how to drive my cars but was just curious if anyone else had a similar issue and if there were a better way to handle it.

I apologize for being such a jerk then. I shouldn't jump to conclusions without knowing the back story. Glad to see it all worked out though!

[steeloyangster]

Originally Posted by soulreapersteve

My dad is the strong and silent type, at least with me. When he needs to say something, its scary.

Not so much anymore since he has seen how far I've come in a short time span. Ever since I got the car, he has talked to me more lol

OMG, THIS! I think it's the conditioning from him through my whole life that makes me not want to interact with him. Everytime he opens his mouth it's either criticising or something negative. When I receive a text or phone call from him I discount it until I am in the right state of mind to take it. My mother's always been the affectionate and sympathetic one who I would approach about nearly anything. My father was the one to avoid. I'm not trying to villainize him but when someone conditions you to expect certain things then those expectations can't be changed so easily.

Wow, I didn't know participating in an online forum about cars could also provide therapy. Being able to quantify that makes me feel much more at ease of why it feels so difficult to be around him or to engage with him.

Fooking Asians.

[steeloyangster]

Originally Posted by paulca

I've said it before, I'll say it again. A lot of you are so hyper-sensitive about your clutches. It's probably as in the US 90% of people drive auto and only petrol heads drive manual. Manual is like a special thing and you feel you need to learn every little tiny detail about how to save the clutch and baby the clutch.

Over here 90% people drive manuals and very few people give a F. Clutches last a LONG time even when beat on. I'm not going to provide estimated life in miles as it really depends on what those miles are. A single clutch will last millions of miles on a freeway, but burn out in a few tens of thousands if all you do is drive in stop and go traffic up steep hills.

The only time you should be worried is delivering high torque through the clutch (such as launches and clutch dumps) or obvious prolonged careless beating on it.

By the way. Sitting on the clutch on a hill at lights and rocking the car forwards and back IS the best way to learn the bite point. Granted 1k rpm is probably better, but while learning 1k is too easy to stall, 2k isn't that bad. Half a minute isn't going to remove much off your clutch life.

Also, if you want to learn to drive "stick" properly, DONT sit on the brake and then pedal dance to move off on a hill, this is retarded. The "fever lever" is NOT, repeat NOT an emergency brake. It's a "hand brake". It's job, asides as a parking brake, is to secure the car so you can use the clutch and accelerator without needing 3 feet and the brake as well. Sit on the brake on a hill here and you would fail your driving test.

You're absolutely correct. If manual transmissions were a norm and everybody drove one then it probably wouldn't be such a big deal. But because most people don't drive one daily most don't know the courtesies surrounding manual transmissions. And since manual transmission drivers here in the States are typically enthusiasts they tend to treat them with higher care because they aren't all over the place and are more rare.

It's like when you were a kid and you collected Transformer toys. Sure you played with them and all but you typically took care of them enough that you didn't bite at them or got them too dirty. Then a cousin comes over and your parents force you to let them play with them and they take it into the sand box and mud. They also leave them laying around and you find new scuffs that they didn't have before. Now the toys are slightly different from when they left your possession and cannot be returned to their original state from which you lent them out.

I can admit that I am a pretty picky person by nature. I grew up in a large family and you didn't get much because the wealth and needs had to be spread out to everyone as evenly and as fairly as the parents saw fit. So when you actually got something you VALUED the hell out of it. You made it last. Even though I've gotten to a point in my life where I can provide for myself and my wife well enough and can replace wants and necessities as they come I still bring the same mentality I had as a child with me. I like having nice, high quality stuff. It makes my little consumerism mind happy. I like having things that work the way they should work for as long as possible. I hate having to do something round about to get something to work the way it's supposed to.

So what if I baby my stuff? I use it the way I want it to be used and when someone does it differently that can possibly lead to premature wear then I feel, as the owner of said item, justified in stating why I do it the way I do it and how I came to those conclusions. I feel it's more than reasonable when using other people's stuff to treat it with as much care and respect as the owner does. When I ride in other people's cars I might mention a thing or two but I also throw in, "But it's your ride. Do whatever makes you comfortable."

.... Wow, my wife puts up with a lot of my shit.

[SisterBlue22]

Love the outcome, here! So glad it worked out and you guys have made a breakthrough!!!!

[berkbrzfan]

Originally Posted by steeloyangster

OMG, THIS! I think it's the conditioning from him through my whole life that makes me not want to interact with him. Everytime he opens his mouth it's either criticising or something negative. When I receive a text or phone call from him I discount it until I am in the right state of mind to take it. My mother's always been the affectionate and sympathetic one who I would approach about nearly anything. My father was the one to avoid. I'm not trying to villainize him but when someone conditions you to expect certain things then those expectations can't be changed so easily.

Wow, I didn't know participating in an online forum about cars could also provide therapy. Being able to quantify that makes me feel much more at ease of why it feels so difficult to be around him or to engage with him.

Fooking Asians.

It is heartening to see that not only were you able to sort out your original concern but also were able to bond better with your dad.

For some strange reason, dads were supposed to be harsh, stern, non-sentimental and what not. And moms the polar opposite. In my case, my dad was somewhere in the middle and was pretty approachable. We do have our share of fun. But you can't expect him to show a physical display of affection like a hug. Now when I see him play with my infant daughter, making weird noises and laughing and giggling I feel I am seeing a new dimension of him !

[steeloyangster]

Originally Posted by berkbrzfan

It is heartening to see that not only were you able to sort out your original concern but also were able to bond better with your dad.

For some strange reason, dads were supposed to be harsh, stern, non-sentimental and what not. And moms the polar opposite. In my case, my dad was somewhere in the middle and was pretty approachable. We do have our share of fun. But you can't expect him to show a physical display of affection like a hug. Now when I see him play with my infant daughter, making weird noises and laughing and giggling I feel I am seeing a new dimension of him !

That's probably what I gotta do. Get him a baby to play with. That'll soften him up. The other Grandkids are too far away for him to spend regular time with.

[Ddreder]

I know I am a little late here OP but here is my experience with letting my dad drive my cars.. Mostly my 78 z28 camaro that I let him drive since he helps me out a lot with it. Now since I dont drive it a whole lot he feels the need to mess with the carb tuning and the timing to try and get it "perfect" and when he gets done messing around with it his signature test is taking it out on the road and doing a flaming burnout in the same spot and comparing his new tracks to his previous tracks..

Needless to say when the throwout bearing explodes again I am making him buy the new one! lol moral of the story is fathers can be hard on shit. But then again so can we