Ever think about going to see a psychologist? The hormonal years have a lot of shit swirling around, and it sounds like you've got some other issues that need to be dealt with as well. In the very least, you'll have someone to vent to who won't judge you, but can tell you why you feel the way you do.
I know you're young and are yearning for companionship and maybe are even having a bit of an existential crisis since it's time to move out and up into the world, but things tend to sort themselves out. Stop looking for a meaning to life and let it find you. Find more like-minded people that enjoy the same hobbies you do. Sounds like you may be sort of an introvert, so you're probably going to have to go out of your comfort zone at least to some degree for that. But it'll give you that human connection you want, whether you know it or not.
Oh, and then work on FTL travel. That's what we need next.
