Originally Posted by VacantSky
About a year ago I just got back from a deployment, and I was making a road trip to the east coast to see family while on extended leave. Along the way I stop in Dallas to see a friend and we go out to a concert. On the way back to his place we stop at a gas station for him to grab a drink. Hit the interstate again, when all of a sudden.... I have to take a shit. Additional note: I'm from England originally and have a slight accent.
Get off the next exit, it's five lanes coming up to a light, a turn around lane, a turn left lane, two go straight lanes, and a turn right lane. I'm driving slow approaching the red light in the left hand go straight lane looking for a gas station. Boom I see one to my right, I also notice a cop across the road stopped at the light. I throw my right blinker on, check my blind spot and move over to the turn right lane slowly. Come to a stop, and then turn right on red - it is clear. So I've turned right, check my shoulder, throw my left blinker on and move carefully but quickly across 2 lanes. It's 1am, no one is on the road.
Once I hit the far left lane I need to swing a U turn to get to the gas station. As I go to turn said cop is up my ass lights on. I pop the U, pull into the gas station (not in a spot) kill the car and wonder what the hell I did.
Drop the window, hands on the steering wheel with license insurance and registration ready on the dash. Cop reaches the window, "is this your vehicle son?"
me: "yes sir"
Cop: "well where do you live?"
Me: "Clovis NM sir"
Cop: "Okay, so why are you in Dallas?"
I'm feeling confused, because I have the right to be wherever the hell I please. But politely respond "Well I'm in Dallas visiting my friend..."
Cuts me off: "Okay (sarcastically). Why are you out so late?"
Me: "Well sir we just got finished with a concert in Grand Prairie and are making our way home"
Cop: "Hmmmm, well let me see your particulars"
I hand him my paper work. And he studies it for a long time.
Cop: "Why do you have a Virginia license, a NM plate, and are in Dallas?"
I'm starting to get frustrated as Mr Brown down below is wanting to peak its head out. But I remain polite: "Well sir, I'm in the military. And I lived in VA prior to joining, I'm stationed in NM, and like I said I'm visiting my friend here while..."
Cut off, again. "Well it sounds to me like you're from England. What branch of the military?"
Me, clenching my ass: "US Air Force" I pull out my ID
Cop studies the ID: "Well what do you do in the Air Force?"
Me: "I'm an aircraft mechanic sir"
Cop: "What Kind of aircraft?"
Me, (are you fucking serious????) I'm getting short now: "MC-130J"
Cop: "Hmmmmmm" looks at insurance and looks at the cars VIN. "well these don't match son, I feel like some truth needs to be revealed, why wouldn't you just fly to Dallas?"
I'm starting to think that he thinks he is onto a stolen car with a fugitive or something: "I have 2 cars sir, you're probably looking at the wrong side of the paper. And the reason I didn't fly is because I'm doing a road trip back to Virginia to see family, I just got back from a deployment and am on extended leave. I wanted to have a car while I was at home."
He studies the other side, and concludes that I must be telling the truth, but doesn't want to admit he's pressing me further than he has to, and tries to get me for something else: "Well what's the glass open bottle there?" gesturing towards my center cup holder
My buddy Joey grabs it, leans over with a shit eating grin on his face: "Orange soda"
I'm shaking my head, are you fucking kidding me?
Cop:"Well alright (disappointment in his voice), do you know why I'm pulling you over?"
Me: "Not really sir, maybe because I jumped 2 lanes before the light to turn right and it looked like I was trying to avoid you?"
Cop: "Well that sure did get my attention"
I'm thinking, yeah I'm sure that and a bright red little coupe with gold wheels didn't make you profile or anything....
Cop: "Actually it's because you turned right, and then proceeded to move over to the left lanes. In the state of Texas when you turn right, you have to remain in the furthest most right lane for a period of time."
Me: "Well sir I was trying to make the gas station, I did signal and make sure it was clear before I moved over. If I had not I would have missed the U turn section, and had to drive another 3/4 mile down the road, which would seem unnecessary in the dead of the night when the road's clear."
Cop: "What do you need at the station?"
Me, restless "The bathroom"
Cop: "Oh you need to pee?"
Me: "Nope, the other one, and it's not solid."
Cop: "well let me make sure your info is good, and then we'll go from there"
I'm starting to think, why the fuck didn't we do that to begin with? 5 Minutes later he comes back and tells me I'm getting off with a warning. Damn straight I am, I think to myself. He tells us to have a safe night and walks away.
I get out of the car without parking it and run to the gas station, B line for the bathroom and almost shit myself before pulling my pants down. My insides hurt for several hours afterwards. The whole process of him pulling me over to me sitting on the seat was about 30 minutes. Every time I responded to his question politely, he took about 30 seconds to analyze what I said before continuing. By far the worst experience I've had, purely because I almost crapped myself in front of my good friend and had to deal with a cop who thought he had hit the jack pot. I understand the law he used to pull me over, but it was an obvious profiling. I see countless people perform that maneuver everyday and are never hassled.
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